EA Tiburon Field Trip And Retrospective (Do They Really Suck That Bad?)

So today, me and 50 other people from school drove 15 minutes up the road to tour EA Tiburon for a couple of hours.  While the words "EA" and "building" together conjure images of an Eldritch Location, the real estate is quite nice.  It's in this business park next to a Charles Schwab and Fidelity place.  The first building you see is the main studio.  Adjacent are two parking garages--one for employees, the other for visitors.  So where is EA getting all these visitors???  Um, whatever, we park wherever we can.

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This is it if you're interested.  So anyway, it's a six-story building.  First floor has a lobby, a store full of EA goods (including wonderful t-shirts that make you a big hit at gaming conventions), a conference room, and a cafe adjacent to a enclosed park/picnic area.  Second floor is marketing/finance stuff.  Third floor is NBA.  Fourth floor is Tiger Woods.  Fifth floor is Madden.  Sixth floor is NCAA Football.  So they're working on four games at once in the building.  There's about 350 employees working here right now.

The tour began with us all going to the lobby, getting a pass and a bag of EA freebies.  I got an EA Sports blue t-shirt and foam golf ball!  Others got mini basketballs & footballs.  Damn shame cause if they still did NASCAR then maybe I'd get a tire!  But anyway we were taken into a conference room where some guys talked to us about EA and stuff.

The propaganda presentations were about the Tiburon studio--"this is how we were founded" and "we're on the cutting edge of technology/social media," you know, all that softball stuff to get you loosened up.  Later we would all split into groups--the developers, the producers, the software engineers (they don't use the term "programmer" there), the tech artists, and the regular artists.

Oh, and about that NDA I signed...hardly anything mentioned was confidential.  During the programmer presentation, it was mostly about programming/shader/new tech stuff.  I couldn't even remember it all anyway and the blinds were open so anyone could look in and see for themselves (OMG, A SHINY LEBRON JAMES IN NBA LIVE).  Although we weren't allowed to bring cameras past the front gate.  Okay, sure thing, lady.

Frankly, these chats went on for way too long...I was waiting to tour the damn building.  But nonetheless, I got to ask a few questions for the EA guys:

"Will Sean Peyton be in Madden 13?"  Everyone cracked up.  Apparently not but it's because he wasn't part of the "coaches' club" or something so his likeness wouldn't be in the game anyway.

"Do you know where Peter Moore is?"  Peter Moore...that Sega bastard that killed the Dreamcast.  Apparently, he's living in San Francisco as the COO of EA Sports.  Didn't know he moved up so fast but w/e.  I'm always on the lookout for Sega guys.

"What happened with the NASCAR license?"  Apparently, EA decided to drop the series because they thought they'd make more money elsewhere. *coughFIFAcough*  I was wearing my Daytona Speedway hat so I looked like a moping racing fanboy I suppose.  Hey, it was a good question.  If they were still working on NASCAR, I might be more enthusiastic about an EA career.

(to an ex-student) "How similar is work at EA compared to grad school?"  Not much, apparently.  EA mandates that if you work too long a couple of days that you must go home and take a break.  I guess they don't want half-asleep programmers ruining the Perforce & stuff.

I should mention something funny.  During all this, some people brought out a bunch of goodies for us to enter for a raffle.  The prizes were some old-school EA t-shirts/phone cases, a bookbag full of EA games, an authentic Cleveland Browns helmet signed by Peyton Hillis (still in the box), some pair of shoes, and a pro-gaming headset.  Everyone got two tickets each and put theirs in the buckets of the prizes they want to win.  Everyone went heavy on the EA games and the headset.  Me?  I waited and put my tickets in the box with the best odds-to-value ratio and that was the NFL Helmet.  Surprise!!!...I won an actual NFL helmet signed by Madden '12 cover star Peyton Hillis.  It was the highlight of my day.

Me upon winning the helmet

Okay, time to go tour the building.  Obviously, I went on the "Engineer" tour.  Unfortunately it was a brief one and we only stopped on one floor--the six floor with NCAA Football development.  Even more unfortunate was that I had to haul that damn Peyton Hillis helmet around the entire building..."Whatcha got there?"  "Oh, I won a Peyton Hillis helmet in a raffle!"  The place looked rather...normal.  There were hardly any employees working at the time but the ones I saw looked clean.  The cubicles were densely packed but everyone had their own posters & toys so it really isn't that much different than grad school.  They had tons of reference posters of college football stuff for obvious reasons.  There was also all sorts of free food--chicken wings, cereal, candy bars, macaroni & cheese.  And a Mortal Kombat cabinet.  Didn't stop at the NBA, Tiger Woods, or Madden floors since they're pretty much the same thing with the same floor format (uniformity, it's in the game!).

The tour ended and we went to the cafe/picnic area, got some sandwiches and drinks and there were lots of EA guys around.  Most of them were young guys.  Everyone seemed nice and not terribly obnoxious.  Obviously, being socially awkward as I am (and still holding the Peyton Hillis helmet), I stuckwith my classmates.  I get a conversation or two with some tour guides and stuff because I radiate this aura about me as I sit lonely in the crowd staring at stuff and eating free M&M's and Twix bars.  There were also cookies with EA logos on them.  I'm sure they were delicious.

That's where the EA tour ends.  Regardless of my future with EA, I still got to see a legitimate game studio for the first time so the experience was alright.  Lately, everyone's been passing out resumes for job/internship interviews.  I dropped mine in a couple of inboxes--EA's included.  So I might have an interview with them really soon.  Hmm, interesting...a job interview with EA.  I just blew my mind.  They like to devour these newbie programmers...about 75% of them from previous classes (I'm not making this up) so that's pretty heavy.

Here's a bit of an aside from my recent expedition.  Looking at Electronic Arts for the millionth time, they're still full of crap in my book.  You can bring up a million reasons why EA sucks--the DLC, the DRMs, the killing of studios, the constant iteration of the same games, etc.  But give EA some credit since they do something right.  They're efficient, successful publishers.  If it weren't for them putting out mega hits like Mass Effect or Battlefield, you'd never have the luxury of ever playing them.  As for being an "evil" corporation, I could care less how much money EA makes.  The fact is I dislike them for other reasons...things that seep over to games I am actually interested in.

During the initial presentations, one thing we got a lot of was the "exciting new technology" from EA.  This included the new Madden tackle animations (look at this) and the realistic NBA light shaders (all the specular lights from the sweaty players, hence shiny Lebron James).  You know...it's great and all but I ask, "Where's the gameplay?"  Oh sure, for the most part new features/R&D begets new gameplay but still...it's the same game trapped in an eternal cycle.  "Oh, give us a few more years and we'll perfect it!"  Some EA guys said this is not a rehash at all and even went as far as to talk about 2K Sports and the exclusive NFL license.  BTW, did you think these guys were going to say anything remotely bad about themselves?  I don't think they're as evil as gamers say but I also don't think they're as good as they say about themselves.  Gaming is such a cut-throat business you take everybody with a grain of salt (even our beloved Sega).

In other words, if I hop on board with EA, I'm afraid most of my work with shaders/graphics.  Nothing really "new" in terms of gameplay besides bug squashing and whatnot.  Maybe I'm overstating this but that's the impression I got from the conversation.  And thus, this leads to even greater problems.  Yeah, EA puts out decent games but a lot of it is monotonous, only to be saved by massive, MASSIVE production value (EA has that $2 billion war chest, remember?).  And that's okay if that's their business plan.  I just think these big budget, broad, casual, play-it-safe titles are mainly what makes the game industry suck these days.  Hey, if EA is making money off this strategy, other publishers will follow suit.  Doesn't matter how stupid it is, if it sells, MAKE IT ANYWAY.  It it can't break 2.5 million copies, it's a failure (technically 5 million if you take it from this EA guy pertaining to Dead Space 3).

Sports, okay, I'll let those slide since there's no room to improve on that besides graphics.  But this mostly applies to Need for Speed I might add, most of which I find mediocre.  Most everything they make is a sequel or rehash in some way.  Hell, even Origin is a ripoff of Steam.  If it weren't for the HUGE IP's they've recently acquired like Mass Effect or Battlefield, I doubt anyone besides the sports junkies would care about EA.  Yeah sure, EA has recently made NBA Jam or NFL Blitz but those are just remakes which are really no better than the originals except for the graphics.  NFL Street was good but they canned it way too soon.  Skate is new I suppose.  Tony Hawk has gone to crap so at someone stepped up to the plate instead (speaking of which, where's the baseball games, EA???  Little Facebook/iPhone apps don't count).

EA I AM DISAPPOINT

On the other hand, there's one of the most beloved game developers in the world, Nintendo.  Now I'm not a huge Nintendo fan but I respect them for coming up with clever new IPs over a long time span like Mario, Zelda, Pokemon, Smash Bros, the Wii, etc.  Even if they use the same IPs often, at least they do different things with them (different generations of Mario & Zelda).  Yeah sure, they've made some blunders recently but only extreme segments of gamers really hate Nintendo.  On the other hand, you can't say the same thing about Electronic Arts whom everyone seems to be indifferent to or hate.  Holy cow, EA won the Worst Company in America contest, what did you expect...that people love EA???

And how about Sega?  Hey, I'm not denying production value is bad (Sega was on top of things with arcade hardware like OutRun or Daytona which made them even more successful) but at least these games came with revolutionary gameplay.  And how about the Dreamcast?  Most people overlook this but Sega had some serious GUTS back then!  Look at all the IP's they released in that time: Crazy Taxi, Jet Set Radio, Space Channel 5, Samba de Amigo, House of the Dead, Sega Bass Fishing, Seaman, Super Monkey Ball, Shenmue.  I mean, geez, if modern-day EA went back in time and made their own figurative Dreamcast, what games would they make for it?  A bunch of sports titles, a Need for Speed, and some more titles from other companies that they didn't make themselves.

I don't know.  Taking shots at EA gets old after a while.  It's really dumb.  So how can I still think about working for these guys?  I have my doubts.  But these guys apparently like making Madden and NBA games (I assume...defectors will be PUNISHED by their EA overlords).  And no one there is really a scumbag--they're just guys working on games and getting along just fine.  If you're not emotionally attached to one particular game/genre/company then EA is probably up your alley...BUT THAT'S NOT ME.

I make a big deal out of the games I want to work on.  This can be a terrible attitude to have at times but I can't help it since if it weren't for Sega, I'd never be in this scenario in the first place!  So assume I get a job at EA.  While I struggle to program a simple shader at an EA "incubation session," Sega continues to commit suicide and by the time I make it there, they'll be dead.  You can't flat out ask any of these guys "hey, do you know how I can work for Sega?" since they obviously want people to stick with them and no one else!  The EA experience helps a lot on resumes, if that means anything.  You can also use that in-house experience to slingshot to other EA studios across the world (this includes Bioware and DICE) but that's not where I want to touch down, of course.  Still, it's SOMETHING to think about.

I have mixed emotions about EA and the whole thing right now.  Hey, I don't know where to work right now but in the coming months, we'll just examine our job opportunities and choose.  EA's not off the table but I am super hesitant.  There's smaller studios where I'd feel more at home that are eager to hire people in the Orlando area.  I can't spend all my time worrying about the future cause then I won't have fun.  Fairly certain everyone is a bit worried as well, even if they don't express it so you're not alone.  Okay, I'm done rambling, another super late night post, signing out...

Electronic Arts: What It Means For Daytona USA & My Future Career

Okay, there's still a few things on the stack for me to talk about but this is one of 'em and it's sort of relevant.

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Here at FIEA, there's this HUGE wave of advertising for Electronic Arts.  EA has studios all over the country.  Speakers show up on occasion to talk about stuff.  Even my programming teacher worked at EA for some time.  The main reason why is because EA is probably one of the most accommodating to entry-level game designers.  Clearly, one of their goals is to stroll by the building, advertise, and hire as many new employees as possible.  Then assign them to Madden, FIFA, Rugby, whatever the hell there is.

OBEY.

But I'll get to careers at EA in just a second.  We had a speaker from EA today who has 17 years worth of experience with them.  What his name was, I forgot...I'll probably update this if I find out.  EDIT: It's Dave Ross.  He was talking about licensed content.  About how you must balance working within the demands of the license's owners come hell or high water.  He was talking about Madden, NCAA Football, Lord of the Rings, all that good stuff.  Also, he mentioned EA is bringing back NFL Blitz...awesome, though I thought NFL Street 1 & 2 were awesome too (though NFL Street 3 and NFL Tour sucked ass).

He got to the subject of NASCAR (this is when the vast majority of the audience groans).  He was talking about the hoops they had to jump through to get the games made.  They needed the actual NASCAR license which also came with the drivers & teams.  Then they needed advertisements and all that crap.  They also needed to license the tracks which were separate from the NASCAR name.  It costs about $10,000 per track to license.

Now this is where things get dicey.  We all know that Sega made Daytona USA (1994), Daytona USA 2 (1998), and Daytona USA 2001 (uh...2001).  Now I actually asked this guy after the presentation what he knew about the Daytona license and how it pertained to EA.  Now some may have a hunch about what happened, but this is what I got out of this.  I think I'm right but I'm not 100% sure.  Please correct me politely if I'm wrong (with proof, of course).

Sega got exclusive rights to the Daytona name back in 1994.  How did they pull it off???  I don't know...but basically, EA couldn't put the Daytona track in their NASCAR games until 2001.  That's right--Sega basically denied EA the Daytona track.  So while we hate on EA for taking the Daytona name from us, bear in mind that Sega did the same thing back in the day.

Yeah, TAKE IT EA!!!

This also explains why Sega had an influx of Daytona games in the late 90's.  Daytona 2, Daytona DC, Daytona CCE/Deluxe.  Sega was sort of "obligated" to make an arcade sequel to Daytona 1 so they went ahead and did it.  Scud Race (1996) was originally some Daytona 2 prototype but they changed it to the touring car them we know today.  Then they went ahead and made an actual Daytona 2 (1998) based off the engine they used for Scud Race.

This game did not have Daytona in it thanks to Sega.  Hmm, would you rather Daytona USA 1 & 2 OR a Nascar '98 game with Daytona in it?  The choice is obvious.  Although I am eternally grateful to EA and NASCAR '98 for introducing me to Flirting With Disaster by Molly Hatchet.

By 2001 (give or take a year), after the license had run its course, Daytona struck exclusive rights to three companies--EA, Papyrus, and Monster Games.  This meant that Sega couldn't make another "Daytona" game even if they wanted to.  So basically, EA returned the favor with a haymaker to Sega's face.  But that's to be understood since EA made a friggin official NASCAR game WITHOUT the hallmark Daytona International Speedway.

Then again, even if Sega could've used the Daytona trademark, odds are they wouldn't have because they're incompetent like that.

After EA made their last NASCAR game (2009), the Daytona licensed was liberated.  Then anyone could get it.  Which explains why NASCAR: The Game (made by Eutechnyx) and Daytona USA (XBL/PSN) both held the same license.  So the Daytona trademark owners were just stingy like that.  Now they've loosened up a bit which is good.  No excuse now for Sega to make more Daytona games!  I guess.  Once Nagoshi-San wakes up from the tanning salon.

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Speaking of the great gods of gaming over there at EA, let me describe this drive for EA to hire new students.  Like I said, they do a lot of advertising over at FIEA.  You know they're gunning for us newbies.  When entering the marketplace, it's like the NFL draft.  Except that EA owns two-thirds of the picks.

In the eighth pick of the FIEA draft, EA selects...Eric (last name excluded).  You'll begin working on Need for Speed immediately.  Have fun!

Other companies that have expressed interest in new students is Xynga (oh boy, love working on gimmicky games like Farmville), Interactive Studios (Epic Mickey), and uh....I think Bioware (Dragon Age, Mass Effect, OMG ROXOR MY SOXORS).  They had a couple of FIEA alumni from Bioware come back to speak so maybe this means they're hiring...?  I don't know.

Compare that to companies like Blizzard and Valve who have little interest in "newbies"--they go for experienced employees more than anything.  Though that's not set in stone--if you're a good student and you strike gold, you MAY get lucky.

Anyway, I'm not going to come on here and bash EA more than I do.  Yeah sure, many of their games are mediocre.  Yeah sure, Origin is spyware in a box.  EDIT: They're going over the line pressuring game journalists over Battlefield 3 reviews.  Way too easy to take pokes at "evil corporations" these days.  Although if you hate EA for that reason, then you might as well hate Sega too since they're on par (sort of...Sega isn't as strong as they used to be).

Though my main goal is to work Sega.  Well DUH, you know that.  But Sega is risky business.  For one, they're located in California...San Francisco to be intact.  Is that good for me to travel that far to an economically-reeling state where you can smoke pot all you want but can't even get toys in your Happy Meals anymore?  EA has studios everywhere in North America so they're much more flexible to work for.  They're even opening a studio near Baton Rouge (an hour drive from my hometown of Slidell, LA).  It's a stable company and working for them would be easy sailing.

But is that why I entered the game industry to begin with?  To work on perennial Madden titles for the rest of my career?  I don't think so.  We're here to HELP SEGA.  That's one of my primary goals.

Take the blue pill, go work for Electronic Arts.  It's an easy job with a decent salary but hardly rewarding at the end of the day.

Take the red pill, try to work for Sega.  Travel half-way across the country and be forced to live a different lifestyle.  Possibly get fired and are stranded from home.  But you get a shot at flying to Japan, meeting the Sega crew & Yu Suzuki, and working on a new Daytona title.

So what's it gonna be???

Though EA is prevalent here, not everyone kisses up to them.  Some say that EA is a good place to begin working at to gain experience but it's not someplace that many people want to stay.  While EA publishes a lot of self-made sports titles and coolio games like Mass Effect, they're stale when you think about it.  So if I do work for EA, just consider that it's not permanent at all.  Though this makes EA sound like a revolving door of good little drones and that's not fun.

Anyway...not much else for me to say.  EA is EA.  Haters gonna hate.

Gaming School: How I Learned To Stop Worrying (About Grades) And Love To Ridicule Everyone

I KNOW that Daytona USA is already out for PSN and is coming out tomorrow for XBL.  But this is something that must be said.  Let's be straight--today was just a s***ty day.  I know some people don't want to hear it but here goes anyway.  I'll try to make it as quick as possible.

And I know that this is a "controversial" post, especially if anyone who knows me in real life reads it, but I debated whether or not to post it.  Spent too much time on it anyway so don't want to let it go to waste.

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At game school (FIEA), one of the things we do for this semester is work in teams of five and make a game in two weeks.  We make a total of five games.  I already finished my first two games: 30 Seconds or Less and A.R.I.  I'm proud of my work.

The third round's theme was "immersion" or the act of making non-linear gameplay.  Ours was for this big MonsterMedia touch TV, kind of like a big iPad.  We made a 2D game codenamed "MonsterBlocks" in which the goal was to escort a frog across the screen by dropping tiles from the sky (Connect-Four style) in order to aid/hinder him.  It was really a shallow idea that hinged on that level-editing mechanic--kind of like a sordid combination of Tetris, Lode Runner, and Frogger.

Our game did not fare well.  Our team had one producer (normal guy), two programmers (me and this Chinese guy), and two artists (two girls, hoohah).  First day on the project, ideas clashed.  In the end, the tile-dropping idea was made concrete.  I personally thought it was too shallow and had my doubts on the MonsterTV platform, but popular vote wins, right!  Let's begin working, huh?

The producer then e-mails everyone a list of vague instructions on what we should do next.  Then he goes AWOL.  Bear in mind that the Producer's primary job is to CONCEPTUALIZE THE GAME AND AID THE TEAM TO VICTORY.  Since producers are generally useless outside that realm, many producers at FIEA learn how to code, design art, write scripts, or record sound effects.  All our producer did was pop in occasionally then go away.  It stunk.  We weren't "motivated" to work hard.  For my first two games, I worked on them purely out of self-interest and pride.  Here I just got pissed off since our team was so disorganized.  I was running back and forth (in my mind, that is) trying to figure out what to accomplish.

To be fair, the game itself wasn't that bad...the art was good and the controls were alright (disregarding the touch screen).  If you took something like this, tweaked it and put it on a different platform, it would be okay.  EDIT: But it seemed like our team was willing to take the hit on presentation day and there was not a whole lot that could be done since I haven't talked with the producer and because I'm slaving away at whatever menial tasks I was assigned.

Tuesday at 2 am, me and my Chinese buddy finished cramming our game all while our producer stood around offering little nitpicks and staring at everyone else's games.  Later, after we got a half-night's rest, we presented our MonsterTV game to the cohort.  Out of the seven MonsterTV games, ours was the only one that didn't elicit any smiles or laughs out of the crowd--it was boring.  A lot of the minute details I added or polished weren't even shown during the demo.  Our producer just popped in and winged the whole thing as I stood there and took potshots for making a lousy game.  Bear in mind that ALL OF US get the same grade on the game so if he tanks, then I tank too.

As an angst programmer, I shall throw him bus.
Although I will admit he's a nice guy so I do so with chagrin.

Speaking of producers, I'm going to say this too.  Out of the three game design tracks here at FIEA, there are way more producers than programmers.  How can that be--all these producers but not enough programmers to design the games?  I'll tell you why--because the idea of being called a "Game Producer" is a big ego boost to some.  As a matter of fact, when I first read up on FIEA, I was all gung ho over being a producer!  You're like the architect of a building--you get to tell everyone what the game will be like!  On the other hand, those lousy programmers...the ones who are lazy, introverted, and don't shower (not me though).  They're like the construction workers.  They do all the bitch work.  No one wants to be a programmer and deal with all that math/logic/puzzle solving.  They want to be PRODUCERS and be the boss of it all!

Herp derp, I'm just a helpless programmer!!!

If you take a look at the homework the Producers have, they have to write up so many game documents, it's nuts.  Enjoy it, guys!  You want to design the games, right?  Then sit there and drown in all that ink.  Attend all the meetings, give the public speeches, and take the hit when the game sucks.  There's more to being a producer than writing down ideas and telling everyone what to do.  Some producers already get the picture (they're specializing in programming/art), others do nothing.  Just a friendly wake-up call for producers, that's all.

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It gets better!  To tack on to an already bad day (seeing my game crash & burn in front of a crowd of 70 people), it turns out that my classmates think I'm useless!  What do I mean?  At the end of each project, each person gives out "Peer Ratings."  You sit down on a computer and rank each teammate (excluding yourself) from best to worst in four categories.  Categories are" Easiest to Work With", "Put in Most Time", "Most Creative", and" Number One Player".  Then after you rank them, you give them a final score of 1 through 5.  In other words, it's the digital version of Survivor...in total secrecy, go figure out which person(s) to screw over.  Brilliant.

Eric, you go home back to Louisiana, do not pass go, do not work for Sega, do not make Daytona USA 3.

Example: So I have four teammates named Bob, Joe, Gus, and Sam.  I'm ranking them in terms of Number One Player.  Now Bob did a lot of work, I put him at #1 with a score of 5.  Gus did a lot of work too but just a little less than Bob so I put him at #2 but give him a 5 anyway.  Sam did some work so I put him at #3 with a score of 4.  Joe was more or less expendable so I rank him at #4 with a score of 3 (he still helped a little).

Now everyone in the class got to see their rankings compared to everyone else (in terms of position on Top 4 lists, not scores).  They saw them in secrecy so you don't know how anyone else besides you fared.  Just for my first two games alone, I fared MISERABLY.  In terms of "Easiest to Work With" and "Most Creative," I ranked in the bottom 10%.  Like 60th out of 65th.  As for "Put in Most Time" and "Number One Player," I finished somewhere in the middle (35th place).

Now some of you are probably snickering at the scores and saying "Eric, you're a loudmouth who deserves to fail."  No, these scores are horribly flawed.  Utter bull for multiple reasons but here's one: I KNOW for a fact that I busted my ass on both of these projects.  As a matter of fact, 30 Seconds or Less was my baby.  A good soldier never leaves a man behind...so I polished the hell out of the game when everyone seemingly lost interest.  No really, I went around asking for help but I was uncertain what everyone was trying to do.  If I waited up for everyone, then the game would look less polished for the final presentation and our project grade would drop.  And as for A.R.I., I worked on that to keep up with my earnest teammates.  I think that I did an adequate job on those!  But here's more things to think about:

First and foremost, I'm a PROGRAMMER.  With Asperger's, mind you.  Regardless, I'm actually positive and complimentary with my teammates.  We're "friends," we say hi to each other.  So if I'm not an extrovert when it comes to socializing, that means I'm horrible at this job?  Plus, interacting with other teammates...isn't that the Producer's job?  He's the glue that holds the project together?  So because I'm not up and at em all the time, I'm not easy to work with?  If I am easy to work with, then doesn't that NEGATE the Producer's purpose anyway???  To coordinate efforts among each other???  WTF???

And the second thing--most creative.  First, saying someone's "most creative" is a misnomer.  There's two kinds of creativity.  First is artistic creativity--the ability to paint pictures, write poems & stories, and create music.  This is the kind of creativity that comes to mind which just about everybody.

A Bob Ross video game: more fun than Gears of War and Rage (yeah I went there).

Then there's pragmatic creativity--the kind of creativity that involves solving problems.  Now programmers aren't known for being very imaginative but they are known for solving logic/math problems!  Like imagine if you will that you're MacGyver.  You need to escape from a burning building.  You can blow a hole in the wall, get a fire extinguisher or build a makeshift helicopter and fly out of there.  All viable options to solving the problem at hand!  You just need to put the pieces together in your mind and then do it.

That's a different type of creativity...one that involves getting an idea onto the computer screen somehow.  Like in 30 Seconds or Less, getting the delivery system/arrow pointer working.  And the drifting/smoke effects...my God that made a world of difference!  One teammate said "It made the game not boring."  All of that was a LOT of work in trying to setup the code, graphics, and UI.  Yet apparently my accomplices didn't see that in me.  At all.  So according to them, I'm a creative as a doorknob.  Kind of like Ethan Albright, the lowest-rated player in Madden (and his personal response to the man himself)...

It’s also pretty wonderful that my awareness rating was 59. You make it sound like I wake up in the morning, helplessly s*** and piss myself, then lose three of my teeth before I discover that I am trying to eat a rock for breakfast. F***, John, I understand you saying that I am slow and lacking athleticism, but a rating like this pretty much labels me as retarded. Rod “He Hate Me” Smart has a 52 in this category. Electronic Arts is saying that seven rating points separate me and the breathing embodiment of the perfect oxymoron. Rod Smart struggled to arrange words in sentence form. Cave men had better hold of the English language. The only actions that separate point values of ignorance at this embarrassing level are things like using your own toothbrush to wipe your ass. I basically edged out Rod by my lack of shit teeth. If I take a night school class, could you bump me up to a 60?


And for hilarity's sake...

I have received the impression that you feel that I am lacking in the agility category. I should consider a walk through my living room where I don’t crash through a wall or kick over furniture a resounding success. My agility rating on your game is 33. It makes it sound like I just topple over if I start walking too fast. Ted Washington is rated a 40 in agility. He is listed at 365 pounds. If Ted Washington tied a white lady up and made her wear a metal bikini, he’d look just like Jabba the Hut.

Oh, and as for the other two categories (and all in general).  Isn't this just a matter of outrunning your teammates?  Like if you and and a friend are in the woods being chased by a bear, you're not outrunning the bear, you're outrunning YOUR FRIEND (bear will kill the first person he gets).  So in the end, doesn't this whole contest involve sucking up and trying to outperform each other?  Oh, but that's good right?  But ever since when did this become a competition?  I mean, work good for YOURSELF and the game's sake, not to go nuts and play macho head games with your "accomplices."  Getting them to think you ran in circles all last night getting the game to work and thus they rate you higher.  Come on, man!  You know someone's tried that before.  Care more about looking good than the game itself.

And one more thing.  Consider this.  What if there's someone out there who just doesn't like me for personal reasons?  Like if they read my blog and say "Oh, this guy doesn't like Burnout, therefore I don't like him."  EDIT: Or, to a lesser extent, some members on the team are best friends and only see value in each other.  What's to stop them from voting the way they do?  Nothing, apparently.  Either way, I'm getting the shaft.  Brilliant.

Then there's the number ratings that people assign to you.  Okay, never mind the rankings (other than that they should give you the whereabouts on what your score is).  A 1 through 5 score is relative!  Like in game reviews, most of us think that 7 is an "average-to-good" score.  However, some shift to the left and say that 5 is an "average-to-good" score.  So his 5 is another guy's 7.  So if I get on this computer and rank everyone in the 3-5 range (cause everyone contributed), what if someone else gets on there and starts handing out ratings in the 1-3 range because he sees these numerical ratings from a different perspective than I?  So basically, he's killing me while I let him off the hook.

Did I mention that we're being graded on how well our peers rate us?  I think I've been fair in my evaluations of my teammates thus far (as well as very generous).  Since my "Easiest to Work With" rating is rock bottom, that means that it is unanimous that everyone I've worked with previously (eight people) thinks I'm a terrible person to work with.  Which I see as "Eric, you're a lousy bastard."  So do I still see these people as good friends?  Or do I sense some bad vibes with me?  Can I even look these people in the face and give a genuine "Hello" anymore?  You have realize how much I suck at maintaining friendships so stuff like this really takes a toll on me.

Oh, and did I mention we haven't tallied the ratings for the third game yet?  The Monster Blocks game that tanked?  So every team does private post-mortems in which they talk about what went well and what didn't.  This is a viable time for me to come out and say who dropped the ball on this project (and we know who).  But if I come out and say sternly, "You need to do better," wouldn't the same person get his feelings hurt and then turn around and rate me lowest on "Easiest to Work With" because I'm such an asshole?  So isn't this a fragile game of politics at here?  You need to be tough but at the same time you have to do what all good little employees need to do: KISS ASS??  What do I do??

What goes on inside my brain at any given moment.

In the end, we are on edge with each other.  Anyone says anything threatening, we take each other out.  IT'S G-D WAR GAMES PEOPLE.  This is what this peer rating system is--IT'S A GAME.  It's not a valid means of grading each other.  It's a load of ass.  And like I said before, this wouldn't bother me so much if you weren't kicked out if your GPA fell below a 3.0.  Oh well, this class is already half-over.  I'll be done soon.  Much ado about nothing I suppose. I could roast 'em some more but I won't bother. What's past is prologue.

EDIT: Well I've had a discussion with a few people about this today.  Some are understanding where I come from.  Things can get better from here.  Don't worry about this too much.

Adventures In FPSes Part 3 -- Tips To Win

Part 2 of the FPS series on Perfect Dark.

I don't know what I'm talking about right now.  I figure I might as well give you a little advice if you feel like you need it for Call of Duty: Black Ops and whatnot.  I guess this can be applied to many other games as well or even sports.  So here goes:

* Losing a lot and getting in a slump.  If you really are playing way below your expectations, the natural reaction is to play even harder which may make you play even worse which leads to extreme frustration.  Really, go outside for a walk and don't talk to anybody to contain the anger.  Let the anger go away before you return back to normal life.  Your skills won't go away overnight so don't be ashamed to take a little break (maybe a day, a week, whatever works) if you're sucking bad.

* Sometimes you may be a victim of lag.  If it means getting less angry, then use lag as an excuse.  At least try joking about it.

* If you're really afraid to feel the shame of a loss, then deliberately put yourself in a crap position.  Like give up the host spot, play against a larger team, or use an inferior gun.  If you lose, then you can always say, "Well, I was in a bad position."  Although only do that when you aren't 100% dead set on winning cause shooting yourself in the foot is a STUPID idea.  Use this in "practice" mode.

* If you fall behind in a crucial game DO NOT PANIC.  One of the worst things people do in ANY game, whether it be racing, FPS, fighting, etc. is that when they are losing, they do really stupid ass things like rush in, waste ammo, don't think things through, etc.  I see this all the time and even I'm guilty of it occasionally.  Really, try to wait out the guy and hope that he screws up.  This reminds me of three stories:

1. This is one of the only times I played Daytona USA 2 multiplayer and it was against some cool black dude and his friends.  Never seen them before but they looked like they knew what they were doing.  So we're pick Beginner course, Phantom cars, MT.  Okay, so I'm leading in lap 3 then I just rub the outside wall in the last turn and fall behind.  Okay, panic mode?  Well, I just wait the guy out.  I know that my regular laps are faster than his and sure enough, he wrecks twice in laps 5 and 6.  So that gave me a cushy lead and I won.  Sometimes, you have to be more consistent than anything.

2. I was playing my friend on Call of Duty 4 (online so no screen-watching).  We were playing Shipment (the smallest map in the game) with MP5's.  So we were creeping around the map trying to find each other first (not really camping) and he spots me first and then I'm behind 1-4.  So I say to myself, "He can't get THIS lucky in the future."  Then I creep around, keeping a defensive (as opposed to camping) stance and I kill him a few times in a row.  Sure enough, his instinct is to spray ammo and sprint across the map, giving away his position.  Relatively easy win from there.

3. I was playing another friend in Madden '09, this time in the same room.  He was the Cowboys, I was the Bucs.  He doesn't play often but I did so I had an advantage.  So I forget what happened up until then, but I throw an interception he returns for the TD.  Then he gets a fumble or something--all I know is that he was up seven on me.  But then, not getting any turnovers until then, I thought "He's gonna screw up EVENTUALLY, he's not that good at this."  Sure enough, he throws his share of interceptions and I kept running the ball and playing steady O.  Then he was forced to pass even more and make stupider mistakes which led to a cozy win on my part.

Speaking of #3, here's a good rule of thumb from Tecmo Bowl: 

4. Not Taking Your Damn Points Will Come Back to Haunt You. For the love of god, just take your damn points. Do not go for the glory of a TD or try to force anything in there. Once you get inside the 40 just say to yourself "ok, now come away with some points." Of course all bets are off if you got LA, since LA has Bo Jackson. Going for the TD and not getting it, especially early in a game, will always lead to a 3 point loss. The lesson here? Take Your Damn Points. Take them, or you'll pay for it later. Of course this law is regularly broken by all players no matter how many times you say I'll just take my damn points. Anyways, Take Your Damn Points.

So basically, the rule is to not hurry anything UNLESS you are nearly out of time and you HAVE to make a big play--like run headfirst into enemy fire for that last kill or take that final turn slightly faster than usual.  I hope you learned something here.

* On the other hand, if you keep making the same mistake over and over again, then you will need to re-evaluate the situation.  Remember the saying, "Fool me once, shame on me.  Fool me twice...WE WON'T GET FOOLED AGAIN!!"  If you end up making a mistake that makes you kick yourself, you better damn well learn not to do it again.  Like from every match (especially ones you lose), try to think of ONE thing you could've done better and learn from it.

* Keep your back to the wall.  SERIOUSLY, KEEP YOUR BACK TO THE WALL.  Last thing you need is someone sneaking up on you because that's free points for him.  So basically, always maneuver in such a way that you can watch all approach points.

* Something else that compliments the above statement--ALWAYS STAND NEAR COVER.  If it's a crate, a wall, a pillar three inches thick, just have something to put between the line of fire you can heal, reload, deflect bullets or whatever.  Hiding behind railings, crates, or anything that can conceal part of your body from the enemy is a good idea too, obviously.  Regardless, you should never stay out of cover for too long.  This tip is much more apparent in Call of Duty since there's a lot more objects to hide behind.

* This is vital in games like Call of Duty or Counter-Strike where it takes time to line up a shot from run to shoot.  ALWAYS walk slowly so that you can draw up your aim faster than the other guy.  Seriously, just play a normal CoD deathmatch and count how many times the guy will just run into your line of sight, see you, and then lose because you had your gun drawn first.  Also, walking is quieter than running, so use that to your advantage.

* Even better is if you're creeping around a corner, SWEEP SLOWLY AROUND and expect a guy to pop up always so you'll be ready.  Never, ever "assume" the enemy won't be there or you'll pay.  If you're going to turn the corner, you want to detect him before he does.  And this is one advantage you'll have over campers (who are forced to concentrate over a long span of time while you don't).

* Contrary to what I said above, you're supposed to ACT FAST always.  Be decisive.  Basically, still move slow, but try to make up your mind and go do something to help the situation always.  Never spend time doing nothing--always be trying to complete little goals in your head at all times.  This is important in Perfect Dark in which you need to sprint for the best weapon, grab ammo and shields, tactically cut off other players, whatever it takes.

* Don't camp.  Move around in the same area if you must and follow the above rules, but camping almost never works.  Plus it makes you very unpopular.

* Always try to remain unpredictable.  It doesn't mean replacing good strategies, it just means taking different routes, cover locations, whatever it takes to at least irritate the other player.  This is especially important with proxy mines, Laptop sentries, etc.

* If you're playing in a huge deathmatch game, you win by getting to the set score, not by having the best kill-death ratio.  So you want to move around and not camp so you can frag the most people, but never rush.  You want to be like a venus fly trap--you want to get those suckers to run right into your line of fire (going back to the "wait for screwups" strategy).  Also, if you go slow, you'll seldom receive fire by more than one person which is good since multiple people shooting at you at once usually means death.  Pick them off one by one.

 BE A VENUS FLY TRAP

* Aim sensitivity.  We're going back to gamer frustration again.  One of the dumbest things you can do is change your sensitivity by a large amount.  The last thing you want to do is screw up your equilibrium.  Drastic changes to sensitivity MAY help in the short-term, but not in the long-term ever.  High sensitivity isn't always better BTW.  Did you know that the professional CS players have very LOW sensitivity with LARGE mouse pads to compensate?  Change sensitivity in small increments at a time and then your brain will adapt to it much quicker.  If you want to go back to your old changes, then go ahead, be my guest.

* Know the maps, know the guns, cause knowledge is power.  It certainly helps a heck of a lot.

* Always be a considerate player.  You're a human being first and foremost.  Don't need to make an ass of yourself over a game when there's more to life than just that.  Of course, it's still very hard to do this, I know.  Besides, you don't want to get too emotional in a game anyway since too much stress will interfere with your ability to play.

* Practice, practice, practice.  Play against bots or in these crappy little DM servers--just get a lot of time in to get used to the flow of the game and learn to aim for the chest/head region (the neck) and control recoil.

Not much else to say.  Hope it helps.

Link to my Perfect Dark Multiplayer Guide.

Anyway, that's about it for FPSes for a little while.  I'll get to some Daytona stuff relatively soon.