2013 Motorsports Recap! Part 2, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Hello boys and girls!  You know what time of the year it is...it's CHRISTMAS time which means more ass-kicking race car clips for you!!  Let's begin.


The All-Star Race is a side attraction to the circus show to the NASCAR, but at least they got one good thing going for it.  Qualifying for the All-Star Race is different than regular season races and is a little game of its own.  Each driver runs three laps and has to make one pit stop.  There's no speed limit on pit road so they ZOOM right on through!  See the Beginner course trick from Daytona USA.  Bitch please, I drive through pits to shave 1.5 seconds off my laps. Though in NASCAR, you have to stop in your pit lane, so yeah, there's that too.

Messing up your pit docks you time penalties so don't screw up.  Top three qualifiers get $50K, $10K, and $5K respectively to share between themselves and their pit crews.


In previous years preceding the All-Star Race was the Pit Crew Challenge.  Basically, pit crews raced against the clock to complete their respective tasks and push their car across the finish line first.  It's a clever little ruse and pit lane choices for the All-Star Race are determined by the results of the Pit Crew Challenge.  But they didn't hold the event in 2013 for some reason so...yeah, disappointing.

These pit crew guys are athletes too, you're a fool to think otherwise.


Anyway, speaking of pit stops...here's Indy Car again.  This was at Sonoma, the 15th race of the season (out of 18).  In the thick of the championship hunt, Scott Dixon (red car) and Will Power (black car) pitted late in the race.  One of Power's crew members was walking with a tire and Dixon clipped him as he drove out.  Fortunately he wasn't hurt but Indycar penalized Dixon a pit drive-thru.

Dixon dropped from first to 15th and Power laughed his ass of as he won the race.  There was debate that the pit member deliberately stuck the tire out in order to hinder his rival.  It could've been an accident because the Indycar pit lanes differ from the lines on the pavement.  Regardless, hitting other pit crews is a black & white issue so there was no room for Dixon to debate.  There was some controversy but regardless, Dixon won the Championship and Power came in 4th overall.  Serves them right.


Back to NASCAR funny antics!  Here's Max Papis and he likes slapping people.  After the Nationwide race at Road America, he pays a little favor to his rival Billy Johnson, while walking away with that shit-eating grin.

And Max Slapis would later get his at a Craftsman Truck Race at Circuit Gilles Villeneue in Montreal.  After getting involved in a late-race wreck, a crazy lady (girlfriend of the driver of the #6 car, Mike Skeen) bitch-slapped him in the face on camera (it's at the end of the video).

Max claimed his jaw was dislocated and his ears rung after that hit.  If so, well, I smell a lawsuit!  No idea what came of it...


More fighting in NASCAR??  NO WAY!!  Rednecks gonna redneck.  BUT FIRST...Le Mans 24 (or "Luh Mah").  Drunken louts mumble and moon the camera.  THIS IS FRANCE, THE CULTURAL CENTER OF THE WORLD, WE DON'T DO SHITE LIKE THIS, RIGHT????

Back to NASCAR, basically Joey Logano is the Grim Reaper.  Well, what do I mean.  Joey gets in a fight with Denny Hamlin after a race at Bristol.  Denny would later get injured at Fontana and sit out for six weeks.

Who's next?  Tony Stewart goes redneck on Joey.  Whoops, Tony gets hurt in a dirt race in Iowa.

And Ryan Newman ALMOST came to blows with Joey but held back.  Good for Ryan!  Cause nobody f**ks with Joey.


Ya wanna see more fighting?  Let's get back to Danica Patrick.  Kyle Petty, "Danica Patrick is not a racecar driver!"  Instant classic, although I wouldn't say Kyle is that much better than Danica.  Only eight Cup Series wins in 30 years of NASCAR.  Ooooo, burned, Kyle!!!  Give Danica a couple more years and a non-shitty race team and she'll whoop your old man ass.  Okay, maybe not, but he makes a good point.  Danica has been in more than her fair share of commercials (plus one Sega racer) and doesn't have much to back it up besides a pair of tits.

But Danica is still not immune!  Here comes Jay Mohr at the NASCAR awards banquet--wait, that ass clown that read jokes off the sheet of paper at Blizzcon??  Yes indeed.  Danica and her new BF Ricky Stenhouse Jr. are not amused.  Seriously, can someone who is NOT an idiot criticize Danica for once?

Oh hey, one more clip.  This is between truck drivers Kevin Harvick (#14) and the "spoiled rich kid" Ty Dillon (#3).  Dillon clips Harvick and they both take a dive.  Harvick pulls up to Dillon's pit stop and gets a sledgehammer tossed at his car.  Last time I checked, getting hit by a tossed sledgehammer can be rather painful.  Whose the wise-ass who threw it?  It's at the end of the clip BTW.

And some more funny/cool shite:

*Brad Keselowski goes for a leisurely jog.
*Tony Stewart REDNECKS at the new cool Kyle Busch.
*Carl Edwards gets paper on his grille and gets in a fight with Greg Biffle when needing to use Greg's bumper as a toothbrush (the story sucks, I apologize).
*Brutal last-lap wreck at Talladega truck race.
*Greg Biffle's pink bumper peels off during the caution and channels his inner Mister Mayhem.

*I become a Kurt Busch fan because he drives the Wonder Bread and City Chevrolet cars in Sprint Cup and Nationwide respectively.  Mad props to him.  Kurt ballin on your chin.

*Donovan McNabb says NASCAR drivers are not athletes.  You know what, Donny boy?  You're a washed up QB like Jake Delhomme and Rex Grossman who bummed your to Superbowl losses against superior teams with superior QB's.  Definition of sport: "An activity involving physical exertion and skill in which an individual or team competes against another or others for entertainment."   Driving fast cars for 3+ hours requires a lot of stamina (and is very frustrating).  Otherwise, everybody would be doing it.  Besides, ESPN airs Poker and Spelling Bee championships and can those be called sports??  GET OUTTA HERE...

*Jimmie Johnson wins his sixth title.  Real shocker there.  Matt Kenseth almost had him but had to choke down the final stretch.  The fans on social media were raged at Jimmie's win because he's a "cheater" and he doesn't deserve it.  Unlike other NASCAR legends like Dale Earnhardt and Richard Petty, Jimmie didn't build his own team from scratch--he basically inherited Hendrick's birthright.  But regardless, kudos to him since to win that many titles when everyone hates your guts is definitely admirable.

*Also, F1.  You thought Jimmie was ruining his sport.  Well, how about Sebastian Vettel, German driver of the Red Bull team?  He won the last 9 races of the 2013 F1 season.  Yes, NINE WINS IN A ROW.  He also won the last four championships in a row.  Now F1 is talking of adding more double points races in order to level the playing field to give trailing drivers a chance to catch up to runaways like Sebastian.  Just like NASCAR instituting the Chase in response to Jimmie's domination (read my thoughts on the Chase here).  Parity, what's that?  Lol...

I pick my nose after every race.

*RIP Jason Leffler.  RIP Allan Simonsen.  RIP Paul Walker.  Fast cars are still not safe.  It makes me sad but they are to be admired for being true gearheads.  I already said my piece on deceased drivers after the Dan Wheldon crash.  Injuries and death keep happening but some would rather risk it than live a boring safe life so kudos man...kudos... ;_;

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! :D :D :D

Classy.

PART ONE RIGHT HERE.

2013 Motorsports Recap! Part One

Hello boys and girls!  It's been a while but don't fear, I come bringing good tidings of old motorsports of 2013!  I stockpiled clips of racing during the whole year to fill your warm fireplaces with joy in this abstinence of race cars this frigid winter.  Ok, let's get it on, I got a lot of catching up to do.

First we will we start with IndyCar.  No, not the Indy 500, but close to it.  This is the Firestone Indy Lights race held on May 24th, two days before the Indy 500.  It's like the Minor League of IndyCar.  But this race had one of the best finishes in history.  It must be watched.  You will never see four cars outside of NASCAR finish this close to each other in a long time.

Once you're done pissing yourself, it's time to move on to May 26th!  Alright, this is the 97th running of the Indianapolis 500, the greatest spectacle of motorsports.  You win the Indy 500, you are a legend among drivers regardless of your other feats as your name goes on that hefty trophy for all time.  Even if you aren't a full-time IndyCar driver, you can still participate for the glory of racing.

This year, the honor goes to a Mr. Tony Kanaan of Brazil.  It was arguably one of the best runnings of the Indy 500 of all time because there were a grand total of 64 lead changes (among 14 different leaders), which eclipsed the previous record of 34 set last year.  While it was exciting, the race ended under a yellow flag because Dario Franchitti wrecked with three laps to go.  Since IndyCar doesn't do Green-White-Checkered finishes like NASCAR (which means you run the 200 laps and no more than that), the race unenthusiastically ends with the cars puttering across the finish line.

There are implications to this.  Kanaan and his rivals, primarily Carlos Munoz and Ryan Hunter-Reay, were exchanging the lead every couple of laps so it was basically a crapshoot going into the final 5-10 laps.  This is because in IndyCar (and not NASCAR), there are rules against blocking faster cars more than once.  If a faster car is about to pass and you can't outrun him, you may only move to block him ONCE, afterwards you give him the right of way or else you're penalized.  Since the cars are so close, they were able to draft and pass each other continuously.  Therefore, had Franchitti not wrecked with three laps to go, Kanaan might've surrendered the lead to Munoz or Hunter-Reay and lost the race.  But no, Franchitti sealed his fate and thus will be receiving a Christmas card by a certain someone this year, I bet.

Vin Diesel's Brazilian cousin.

Now, this finish-under-caution wouldn't be such a downer except for the fact it has happened in the three of the last four Indy 500's with the odd man out actually involving a crash as well but no caution (J.R. Hildebrand's chokejob).  So basically it's "Wreckers or Checkers."  Can't blame 'em cause winning the Indy 500 is the highlight of your career.  But still, I kinda wish they had the GWC finishes like NASCAR does.

Later that day, there was the Coke 600 in Charlotte, the longest race of the NASCAR season.  And the commentators were dumping all over IndyCar for not implementing the GWC finish.  Okay, fine, they make a valid point.  But then they take a text message poll, "Which race is harder to win, the Indy 500 or the Coke 600?"  At that point, I think I shit myself.  Now, I love my NASCAR and can understand the 600 miles are so taxing, but the Indy 500 is the BIGGEST RACE IN THE WORLD and I think tacking on an extra 100 miles (in slower cars too) isn't enough to make it harder than the Indy 500, I'm sorry guys.

As for Formula 1, Monaco was boring and I was too sleepy to pay attention (it aired at 3 am in Florida).  All I remember is Pastor Maldonado being popped like a pimple.  Monaco is apparently too tight to be competitive anymore.

Now, back to NASCAR.  Because I love NASCAR even if it sucks.  A week before the Coke 600, NASCAR holds a mid-season All-Star Race.  It's worth zero season points but it has a million dollar prize for the winner.  It's a short race (90 laps, 135 miles) with four forced cautions to split up the monotony (why???).  It's balls-out racing and there's no teamwork here so cut your opponents off Mario-Kart style for the bookoo bucks!!

Listen to the cool-ass music.  Anyway, this year there were 22 drivers with 21 of them being selected by certain merits--having the most points in the season, winning at least one race, or winning the pre-race event beforehand (the pub all-star event against crappy slow cars who don't stand a chance).  Also, there's room for one additional driver who wins the "fan vote."  Take a wild guess who got into the race this year?  Huh?  From Jasper, Illinois, it's Danica Patrick.  She finished 20th.  And Jimmie Johnson finished first.  OF COURSE, WHAT DID YOU EXPECT???

Now, to dump on NASCAR some more, let's take a look at Tony Kanaan and Jimmie Johnson who won both their respective races.  Jimmie Johnson won $1,000,000.  Want to take a guess what Tony Kanaan won? $2,353,355, a 2014 Corvette Pace Car, and 2014 regular Corvette, and the most fabled race trophy in auto racing.

Go home NASCAR, you're drunk.

Oh boy...there's so many more videos left to show you so I'm going to call it a day for now and post the rest later!  I promise.  Cya tomorrow!

PART 2 RIGHT HERE.

SEGA NEEEEEEEWWWZZZZZZ

Now, about old-ass Sega news that I didn't bring up until now, rofl.

First of all, The 90's Arcade Racer has met its goal of £10,000 ($15,521)!!!  WE DID IT!!!  The Kickstarter raised a grand total of £16,309 ($25313).  By its release in Dec. 2013, it should have:

* A total of eight cars--2 stock cars, 2 F1 cars, 2 McLarens, and 2 "bonus cars".
* Three tracks each with two different layout variations, forward/reverse, and day/night features.
* A drift scoring system.
* Arcade and championship modes for each car type.
* Leaderboards.
* Available on PC, Linux, iOS, Android, and Wii U.
* Possibly more features to be announced in the future...

This list was "confirmed" by an e-mail update I got for donating the £90 ($140) to the project.

Now, when I made whatever limited communication with the guy, I brought up a few things.  I inquired about manual transmission.  I really hope he's able to get that in but with the 6-gear shifter, it might be particularly hard (Daytona USA and Scud Race both used 4-gears).  And then there's the car audio which I think he needs to kick up the bass volume if he can.  Also have the car lean more in the turns and emit more tire smoke.  Basically stuff from Need for the Sense of Speed post...how to get great sense of speed in your game.  And no, I didn't link him to this blog, that would just be stupid of me.

Also I might add that today I'm a lot poorer.  And a lot more depressed because woe is me, all I can do is sit here and watch everyone make Sega racing games besides me.

But I got interesting news...if you happen to be a real-life race car driver AND a playable character in Sega All-Stars Racing (I'm talking about Danica Patrick), then you're happy dancin today.  Cause you qualified on the pole (1st place) for the first time in the history of ANY NASCAR Cup Race (the Daytona 500).

Well, shit.  If Danica actually wins this race and/or many others, I'm going to be kicking my own ass all the way back to Florida knowing that if Danica had only gotten better JUST A BIT SOONER, she could've won the Texas Nationwide race in the Sega Sonic car.  I have nothing against Danica and I actually kind of like her (as a driver, idiots) but her suddenly becoming good post-Sega is just one big WHY???

EDIT: Well to go over more Danica stuff.  Yes, she still has a "Sonic" sticker on her GoDaddy car.  Yes, she just appeared in another Sega All-Stars Racing commercial.  Yes, I would be "happy" for her if she won (though I don't think she will...starting position means next to nothing in NASCAR besides to intimidate the competition).  But talking before about the difference between racing aficionados and gamers who simply like racing games, I don't think Danica (or any real life driver, really) would do a good job promoting Sega All-Stars Racing.  So if she won in the GoDaddy car, well...I don't think Sega has much to gain anyway.

Now for news actually pertaining to Sega.

The big story for all Sega fans...Microsoft admits not buying out Sega post-Dreamcast era due to "lack of muscle."  Okay, I'm not really surprised or offended by this.  Am I supposed to be mad that Microsoft didn't deem Sega worthy of being bought and basically left them to die in the post-Dreamcast era?  Basically, Microsoft got what they wanted out of their Sega partnership and that is the launching of their own console (the Xbox).  Plus they got ex-Sega of America CEO Scumbag Peter Moore (who now works for EA Sports).  Sega has some of the greatest IPs under their belt (Sonic, arcade racers, Genesis/Saturn/Dreamcast stars, etc.) but why Microsoft passed up on them, I don't know.  Because they're not gritty FPSes like Halo, yeah that makes sense.  Besides, judging from where MS is now, was that really a good thing?  Look at Rare, a smaller company bought out by MS but aside from Viva Pinata, they've just sucked recently.  Good riddance, Microsoft.

Speaking of company cannibalism, I remember a while back how Kotaku said that Sega planned to buy out Disney.  DISNEY.  Quick lookup on Wikipedia and right now, Disney's assets equal $75 billion.  I really don't know what Sega's are but after this whole 2012 restructuring, I bet it's less than 10% of that.  What was Kotaku smoking...

And then there's Aliens: Colonial Marines!  Gearbox, what...a...disgrace.  Frankly, I don't give a crap about the game at all--it looks like another linear sci-fi shooter, I'm not too keen on the Aliens franchise, and it doesn't have ANYTHING to do with traditional "Sega-go-lucky-blue-skies" theme (other than the Sega logo on the box).  The only reason I really care is because this is supposed to be one of Sega's big moneymakers for the year and now I hear the game is so bad that people are canceling preorders by the thousands!  Anytime Sega fails, I die a little on the inside.

Right now, there's rumors being spread about how Gearbox dropped the ball on Aliens and this is the best TLDR version I got.  If I'm wrong on some things, feel free to correct me since the situation is rather nonsensical:

* Sega and Gearbox agree to a new Aliens game starting in 2006.
* Gearbox works on Aliens (under the project name "Pecan") for four years.  Game looks "good" but Gearbox is working on other projects at the time such as Borderlands so there's a lot of feet-dragging going on (list of Gearbox games by year here).  Sega is obviously annoyed.
* Gearbox, now preoccupied by the GOTY Borderlands 2, outsources parts of the game to smaller studios, most notably TimeGate which'll handle the game's campaign mode.
* However, TimeGate falls way behind and even removes a bunch of features that Gearbox added previously.  The s*** hits the fan for Gearbox.
* Sega, pissed off that the game has taken over 5+ years, demands it be finished soon.  Gearbox then hastily spits out a final product held together by duct tape and Elmer's glue.
* Reviewers bash Aliens: Colonial Marines to no end.
* Gearbox developer goes on defensive explaining what we know here.  Sega employee teases a lawsuit against Gearbox because they "spent" all the money on Borderlands 1/2 development.

I don't hold Sega culpable for this mess.  Gearbox butchers Duke Nukem Forever, let it slide, now they butcher Aliens: Colonial Marines and that's strikes two & three, you're out.  But Sega IMO really has to cut out these movie IP games.  First it was Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, now Aliens.  None of these games were that good in the first place.  STOP IT SEGA, GO BACK TO DOING WHAT YOU DO BEST AND CHANNEL YOUR OLD CONSOLE-ERA SELVES.  SUPPORT UNIQUE VIDEO GAMES BESIDES THESE GRITTY FPSES THAT DON'T STAND A CHANCE TO THE TEN-TON PURPLE GORILLAS IN THE ROOM.  End of this nonsense.

Was going to talk a bit more about the new video game consoles but this post has gone on long enough.  More pettiness coming your way in about five days, sixteen hours, forty-five minutes, and two seconds (get a stopwatch, I might be off by a few days tho).

Sega All-Stars Racing: You Mad?

Hey kids, I'm back after watching the Forty-Whiners beatdown on Sunday night!  So Sumo Digital just announced a new playable character coming to Sega All-Stars Racing: Transformed.  And guess what--being the Sega Racing Fan that I am, I have the inside scoop on who this character is.

It's none other than everyone's favorite NASCAR driver, Dale Earnhardt Junior!!!  That's right, Sumo Digital is now 2 for 2 when picking the most overrated drivers to become playable characters in their game.  Too bad he drives the stupid Avatar car...and has the stupid Avatar voice.  Price for this DLC character?  Seven dollars.  What a piece of s***.

Well, we now know one thing about Danica.  Ricky Stenhouse, Jr. called Danica's cell and they're goin steady.  Danica chose to divorce her husband of seven years for RICKY STENHOUSE, JR, a villain of Sega who put a stop the Sega Sonic car's victory.  Frickin Ms. Benedict Arnold here, Danica is a SEGA TRAITOR and a filthy whore!  Speaking of Ricky...

Me: OMG guys, Junior won a race!!!

You Gais: NO WAY!!!!!!!!! *thinking it's Dale Jr.*

Me: Nope, Ricky Stenhouse, Jr.

You Gais: FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU...!!!!!!

Also, Danica has set a world record for being in the most commercials for one company (Go-Daddy).  12 Go-Daddy commercials and I don't even know if that includes banned ones.  Yeah, that SB commercial where she stood there and watched the babe and the nerd make out (with the grotesque sound of moving a spoon through a bowl of macaroni & cheese), yeah WTG Danica, you're doing a damn fine job I might add.  At least you're not the one doing the kissing...

But that's beside the point cause I've been playing Sega All-Stars Racing: Transformed some more and I'm going into EPIC BEAST SWAG mode.  Look, I leveled up all the characters.

Hmm, let's count, shall we?  One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five.  Twenty-five characters, all mods unlocked.

I did a lot of leveling up in the Grand Prix modes.  The goal--to play the Expert Grand Prixes (???) and get the lowest combined times.  And what has went down is a thing of beauty.

I'm only the #2 Hornet in the world, lost by .07 seconds, smh.

#4 in the world...as Pudding.

!!!!!

OH YEAH, look at these times.  NUMBER ONE in the WORLD on Dragon Cup Mirrored.  I'm the best Sega All-Stars Racing player there ever was.  "One v. one me, you piece of s***, uhhh..."  Tell em why you MAD son???  Sure, send the ten plagues of Egypt after me...swarms, drones, tornadoes, ice cubes.  I love the irony of the Hornet dodging a swarm of actual hornets.

Lucky for you guys, during the time I was writing this article, my online ranking went down 200 points because of BS glitches and general abuse. Oh, and my batteries went out THREE times on Galactic Parade so Merry Christmas, f***ers.  So I got s*** on today but I'll be back!

A common sight on Sega All-Stars Racing Day.

Hey, you know the drone (red shells) you send out are really mini-versions of the car you're driving?  Look at the mini Hornet.  "Go get him son."  "BUT DADDY I DON'T WANT TO DIE!!!"

I'll have you know this is against Expert CPUs (watch out we got a badass here).

Now, about the drone (AI) cars.  We had a long talk earlier about the drones being no-good cheating bastards.  Well, it turns out that I DO think the drones cheat.  It seems as I pushed the cup times lower and lower, the AI was still able to keep it close and maybe put me 2nd in a few races.  That didn't bother me since I was going for time, not for the win.  Truth is the AI doesn't cheat THAT bad.  Some things people come up with like "The AI shot a rocket backwards at me and I got hit, bawwww," are just ridiculous.  If there's a driver ahead or behind you carrying an item, then rub two brain cells together and KEEP OUT OF THE LINE OF FIRE.  Problem solved.

Besides, I recall not too long ago playing one of the World Tour missions on C class.  The reason why was to unlock some stickers by playing on the easiest difficult.  And I gotta say playing on C class is SUPER F'N SLOW.  Like those of you who can't even break out of B-class, you're only experiencing a fraction of the fun that you would at S-class.  Seriously, when you're playing on S-class and haulin' ass, it's so much fun.

Now I'm just playing as AGES.  All other characters are irrelevant.  I do look at the GameFAQs boards on occasion and all the topics are now about people bitching about glitches and game design choices.  Some people are even complaining about AGES's inclusion, saying he's "out of character."  You kiddin' me?  The Hornet is a LEGEND.  The F-14 Tomcat is a LEGEND.  The Dreamcast controller is a LEGEND.  AGES is the best thing to happen to the Sega All-Stars Racing franchise.  People don't know what they want with this game.  On one hand, people complain about Sonic being in a car.  On the other hand, they want to axe all non-Sonic characters and replace 'em with Sonic ones.  I don't get it.

So Sega All-Stars Racing: Transformed is now out on PC.  Go get it if you like and play the game at 60 FPS (although I don't feel like reunlocking AGES's console mod).  Next post will probably go over this game some more.  Bye guys.

New Nascars Don't Play Well With Video Games

So the Sprint Cup has started Preseason at Daytona.  They're showing off new 2013 cars like these:

I like race cars, but when they overshine them, it sucks (see Daytona USA 2001).  The cars look a bit off to me, like they were designed nice and tight for circuit racing (which is strange since this is NASCAR, not Australian V8 Supercars).  But the new 2013 cars are going hella fast at Daytona and everyone seems to like them.  Everytime NASCAR changes their car designs, there's a few "boohoo, it sucks" complaints but let's get racing cause I can't wait for NASCAR again, geez.

I thought the 2011 cars looked cool...I just hope the designers aren't trying to turn NASCAR into F-Zero, I'd have nightmares if real-life drivers wore tights and appeared in Nintendo fighting games.

So I was casually watching Speed footage of the "Preseason" and everyone was standing around in the garage.  The topic started to sway towards video games.  Ricky Stenhouse, Jr. (whom I will never have pity on ever again for being an "Enemy of Sega" and beating Danica Patrick in that big Sega race Nov. 2012) was playing Words with Friends on the iPhone (Zynga, GAAAAYYYY).  And Juan Pablo Montoya (who had yet to test the 2013's car capabilities versus 2013's jet dryers) was playing CSR Racing on the iPad, a popular drag racing game with a NFS/FnF style. I saw this game before...my dad was playing it and some Trials/Linerider dirtbike game (with engines that sound like BB guns) on his iPhone.

After this clip that I'm sure no one saw, the camera goes over to Bobby Labonte for a brief interview.  He's asked "what kind of game would you give for Darrell Waltrip to play?" to which Bobby replies, "A fishing game."  And then Darrell Waltrip comes on to say "Shoot, I don't play no video games or fish, what'chu kids talkin bout there with those fancy electronic devices."  Then they go on to talk about Kyle Busch's car and the video game discussion is over.  In other words, no progress was made between race drivers and race games.  Gamers and gearheads still continue to look at the other side's stuff and think "what the f*** is that s*** they're messin with."

Ya know what would be great?  If we could get Daytona USA, OutRun, or even freakin Super Sprint in the hands of one of these race car drivers.  You'd THINK that race car drivers would appreciate race car video games, don't you? Especially hardcore balls-out racing games that bring the blue skies and that sense of speed RIGHT TO YOU with no firesuit required. Surely a legit race car driver can truly say THAT'S A GODDANG GREAT RACING GAME THERE my programmer friend. I GOTTA GET BALLIN ON THAT NEW SUPER SPRINT GAME.  Speaking of race car drivers in games...

DANICA, YEAH IF YOU COULD PLAY SEGA ALL-STARS RACING: TRANSFORMED ON TV,

THAT'D BE GREAT...

But this leads me to my next point and it's a pretty crappy observation I made from a decade of browsing countless Internet chats/forums.  I think there's a dichotomy between the two types of racing games--the sims and the Mario Karts.  On one hand, you got diehard auto racing fans are only seen playing the sims like iRacing, NASCAR: The Game, and F1 by Codemasters.  On the other hand, you got plain old gamers who'll get into Mario Kart, Burnout, Need for Speed but they have no interest in real life racing (the "NASCAR is rednecks turning left for 5 hours" crowd).  Almost like the other insults their intelligence.  "Arcade racers makes a mockery of the sport," versus "Racing sims are too boring."  Take your pick.

Why can't we have both?  In Sega Racing Games?  I almost think Sega is caught in limbo there.  Like Sega takes real life cars & settings and run with it--they embellish real life, look here.  Oops, can't have that apparently.  You talk about the "Sega Racing Nation" and it's a place run on niche cult classic fuel--like NASCAR fans won't list Daytona USA as being "one of them" while  mainstream gamers just can't be arsed into playing something requiring practice & determination like OutRun 2.

It's probably why Danica Patrick's Sega All-Stars Racing campaign bombed--because we have a REAL LIFE DRIVER (appealing to racing sims people) trying to sell an ARCADE RACING GAME (played by gaming nerds who have no idea who Danica is).  It's like trying to advertise motorized scooters on Disney Channel.  Herp derp, we still love you Danica & Sumo Digital.

Seriously though, if I ever meet a real life race aficionado (someone who sticks a Dale Sr. "3" on their rear windshield or something) who's obsessed with crap like Mario Kart (or better yet, SEGA ALL-STARS RACING), I'll flip my s***.  Ok guys, we're all gonna be real life NASCAR/F1/Indy/Rally/Le Mans/V8/Touring as well as arcade racing fans now.  Problem solved, goodnite.

A Merry Sega Racer Christmas To You

Merry Christmas you bastards, now here's my NOT AT ALL HASTILY MADE Christmas card (two hours of this BS).

Outside the famous Daytona International Speedway, the Sega gang is all here for the big Sega race, giving away free Dreamcast 2 consoles to all attendees!!!

I wish.....

EDIT: I really should've done this sooner but here goes.
LIST OF PEOPLE/CHARACTERS FOR INFORMATIVE PURPOSES:

Toshihiro Nagoshi: Tan dude with white shirt/pants, dead center.  Producer of Daytona USA, Super Monkey Ball, F-Zero GX, and Yakuza.  Currently the Main Creative Director of Sega in general.

Yu Suzuki: Smiley guy at bottom right.  Producer of OutRun, Hang-On, Virtua Racing, Virtua Fighter, and Shenmue.  Considered "best game producer ever" by many Sega fans for bolstering their arcade division to first-class.

Tetsuya Mizuguchi: Guy on bottom left in a pink shirt sitting down.  Producer of Sega Rally, Sega Touring Car, Space Channel 5, Rez, and Lumines.

Yuji Naka: Guy on right center in white suit.  Producer of many Sega hits including Sonic the Hedgehog, NiGHTS, Phantasy Star, Billy Hatcher, and Burning Rangers.

Danica Patrick: Lady in blue racing suit, dead center.  Drove the Sega Sonic car at Texas Nationwide Race.  Spokeswoman for Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed.

Takenobu Mitsuyoshi: Guy in upper left with yellow shirt and mic.  Sega composer and infamous vocalist of Daytona USA soundtrack ("Rolllingggg sttttarrrrttttt!!!").

Makoto Osaki: Guy in blue shirt, upper center.  Director for Daytona USA 1/2, Scud Race, OutRun 2, and Virtua Fighter.  One of the main guys who fine-tuned these games so damn well but gets no credit.

Hajime Satomi: Guy on TV, lower left.  Founder of Sammy Corporation and current owner of Sega.  Rumored to be a leader of the Yakuza.  Nobody likes him.

Ryo Hazuki: Guy in brown leather jacket and jeans, dead center.  Main protagonist of Shenmue 1 and 2.  Knows martial arts.  Trying to avenge his father's death.

Segata Sanshiro: Judo guy in center of image, arms crossed.  Infamous fictional spokesman for Sega Saturn, known for beating up people who don't play the Saturn and deflecting a giant missile from destroying Sega HQ.

Jennifer, Alberto, Clarissa, Holly: Four people standing on left in front of presents.  Alberto is the "protagonist" of OutRun 2.  The three girls are you passengers for OutRun, Heart Attack, and Mission Modes, respectively.

Hornet Classic: Red and blue car on left center.  Based off a '94 Chevy Lumina, it's infamous stock car from Daytona USA.  Also appears in Fighters Megamix (a fighting car), Ridge Racer Vita (as DLC), and Sonic & All-Stars Racing: Transformed (unlockable character).

Sonic the Hedgehog: Upper center.  Everyone knows who this is.

Axel, B.D. Joe, Gena, Gus: Four guys on right center side of screen.  The four playable characters from the original Crazy Taxi.  Racing around town, catching big air, making huge tips along the way heading for KFC and Pizza Hut.

Ornaments: Cars from the following Sega games from top to bottom--Unicorn from Daytona USA 2001 (DC), Toyota Celica from Sega Rally, Ferrari F40 from Scud Race/Sega Super GT, Phantom Full Force from Daytona USA 2, F1 car from Virtua Racing.

Dreamcast 2: Poster in upper left corner.  Not real (of course) but all Sega fans want to see this (you do too, just admit it).  Rumored to exist through Sega's Ringedge/Ringwide hardware but it's pure speculation.

Sumo Digital: Tiny poster in center of screen.  Game company from Sheffield, UK responsible for porting OutRun  and Sega Rally Online Arcade to XBLA/PSN.  Also made Sega Superstars Tennis and both Sonic All-Stars Racing games.  Considered one of the last bastions of Sega goodness remaining on Earth.

Daytona International Speedway: Backdrop to this image (crap but there's so much stuff in the way so w/e). Located in Daytona Beach, Florida, USA, it opened in 1959, it's home to the most prestigious race in NASCAR (Daytona 500) and lends its name to Sega's 1994 arcade game Daytona USA.

THE MORE YOU KNOW...

Get the full size image off deviantART (please favorite!!!).  Sonic Claus fanart attribution.  Remember to keep Christ in Christmas and have a super day with family & friends.  Oh, and Happy New Year too.

Sega All-Stars Racing WTFs (Ft. Nintendo/Zach Morris)

Dear Spike TV.  On behalf of myself and all the Sega fans out there, I demand you take that "Best Racing Game" award away from Burnout: Paradise 2 Need for Speed: Most Wanted (A Criterion Game) and give it to Sonic & All-Stars Racing: Transformed.  You see, as a very important person on the Internet with an influential blog (95% of all traffic from Google Image Searches) my feelings matter very much, even if I didn't bother to watch your crummy awards show at all.  So until you stop hyping up overrated racing games, I call for an indefinite boycott of your lousy channel (even though I have denounced you badly enough before)!  YOU'RE CLEARLY OUT TO GET SEGA, THAT'S WHAT IT IS.  YOU GUYS SUCK!!!!  Go turn into a metrosexual channel just like G4.

EDIT: Just joking, don't really care what Spike TV does.  Even if Sega All-Stars Racing got recognition there, it would go in and out the ears of everyone watching.  A day after the show, not a single f*** will be given about the awards.  Seriously bro...that's the joke.

Now there's cause for concern about Sega All-Stars Racing's sales numbers.  Somewhere, a few Sega fans have jumped off a bridge (they've survived previous jumps) but this is a good comment I read from "IceHedge" on the TSSZNews article:

If you total these numbers up compared to how All-Stars Racing did roughly in its first week:

ASR sold 20,498 + 10,432 + 7,419 = 37,349

S&ASRT sold 34,825 + 9,272 + 9,506 = 53,603

In order: Wii/Wii U + Xbox 360 + PS3 units sold respectively

Yeah, we said the same doom & gloom stuff about the first Sega All-Stars Racing.  That it would bomb.  But the game went on to cruise to 3.2 million sales across all platforms worldwide which I suppose is successful (in Sega terms).  It's good enough to merit making a second Sega All-Stars Racing so it's not too bad.

Go ahead and blame Sega for doing a crap job at advertising.  Not enough commercials.  Only saw one commercial on ESPN2 while they were airing the Nationwide race with Danica's Sega car.  DarthS0L said Danica would get the word out, yada yada yada, but I don't think real-life car fans care about arcade racing games (a topic for another day).  Danica's impact on sales may have been below expectations but I'm not going to pile on Sega, Sumo Digital, or Danica Patrick for this because something MARKETING FAILS.  

But when you think of big sales, you compare Sega All-Stars Racing to some mega-hyped game like Black Ops 2 or Halo 4 and frankly...so what?  Games like CoD and Halo are basically hyped up so much they burn out too quickly.  Explains why they release a new one every year to the same exact massive sales numbers.  It's become tradition for every average joe gamer to run out and buy this on launch, play the crap out of multiplayer, then drop it for whatever else is the "cool new thing" at the moment--usually another very original gun/sword/knife-wielding action game.

EDIT whole paragraph: On the contrary, Sega All-Stars Racing isn't a "must-have" title for most (because racing games & Sega games aren't top-tier sellers by any means) but people will get around to it.  It'll have a longer shelf life than these quick Halo/CoD iterations because it won't be "eclipsed" as quickly.  I've heard of Wii U owners who wanted to pick this up but were holding out on the Wii U console altogether until its library got bigger.  Also the PC version isn't even out yet!  And Christmas isn't even here yet.  We're gonna have to go the "cult classic" route and do Sega's advertising for them.  It's what this blog helps me to do.  Anyway I'm not going into panic mode yet.

But you want to hear even crazier stuff?  I don't know what TSSZ News's deal is posting ridiculous rumors like this.  Apparently, Nintendo is planning to acquire Sega.  And this is from a video by the "HipHopGamer."

I don't believe it.  I don't even need to watch the video.  But I'll say this about Nintendo owning Sega--I'd be traumatized.  Why?  Because Nintendo and Sega think differently.  Nintendo is a successful game developer, Sega isn't anymore.  Nintendo pours tons of effort into Mario, Zelda, Pokemon, and Wii stuff.  It's good stuff but predictable and highly reliant on some new features like the Wiimote and the 3D screen (that makes people vomit).  Yet Sega lives on the edge.  Always got the crazy new IPs for each console (including arcades...something Nintendo was completely lacking), got that Sonic attitude, making professional arcade titles that still get credit like Daytona and Virtua Fighter.  I don't know how much room Nintendo would give for Sega to flex (Nintendo-console exclusives would suck) but judging from how Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games went down, I think any Sega IPs would just be sterilized.  After all, Nintendo IPs like Smash Bros. sell and Sega ones (usually) don't.  Which way do you think Nintendo will steer the ship?

If this is true, I hope I'm wrong.  Don't need to be a Nintendo diehard to know just looking at the history between the two, they're meant to be rivals just by the way they operate.  If they were to merge, then one would have to change.  And I don't see Nintendo willing to change.

Also, look at this guy...Hip Hop Gamer.  If Nintendo acquiring Sega was such a big story, this would've at least made it to Kotaku or Reddit but no.  Now I don't have a hate-on for rap like some others do (though I hate this crap psuedo hip-hop from losers like Black Eyed Peas and R-Kelly or whatever tool thinks hanging out with Justin Bieber is a good thing) but I know that a lot of these hip-hop sites tend to harbor crazy conspiracy theories.  Like Jay-Z with the hand signals, Lil Wayne's occult rap lyrics, Michael Jackson was assassinated by a secret organzation.  That's extreme, I know, but I can't help but feel skeptical about any "exclusive" information they have to report.

Oh, speaking of conspiracy theories and making up Sega stuff, it's our good Dreamcast 2 friend, Zach Morris!!!  He predicted the Dreamcast 2's release on Dec 12, 2012.  Guess what, it's three days to go and unless Sega has serious brain damage, it would've been announced & advertised already.  But Zach Morris has another blog up -- Model4: Inside Sega's R&D.  Strangely, some of these posts, presumably by "employees of Zach Morris," make a little sense.  In other words, they are mildly informative and actually reference old Model2/32X/Saturn media.  So what's going on here?  Is this some guy who lives in some fictional world where he's the R&D guy of Sega, making elaborate posts about Sega insider information on crappy websites that hardly anyone reads (like Chris-Chan but a lot less graphic)?  Or is he one of the lamest trolls ever only trying to f*** with the minds of a few wandering Sega fans?  Forget this guy.  I'm taking a nap.

Quick, someone needs to make a "Scumbag Sega" meme--maybe then Sega would get some attention.

Danica's 14th Place Finish (Post-Race Stuff)

Well, Danica finished 14th place in her one and only Sega car debut at Texas.  Here are some low-quality pics on RaceBuddy and the First Row Sports stream I took (click to blow 'em up):

HEY GUYS, here's some more pics from Danica's site.  And here's an article too.

The race, at least as of now, was a let down.  Danice started 8th, dropped to 12th, then made it back up to 5th as she ran laps as fast as the leader.  But then, with 70 laps to go, her right front tire shredded and she had to pit out of sequence.  Also some of the pit crew changes to her car slowed her down a bit, or something.  So she barely squeaked out a 14th place finish as she held off faster cars as much as she could on old tires.  For a second, I thought Danica could actually win but in typical Sega fashion, things didn't work out in the end.  I know it's crazy to expect a win but she couldn't even "make it to Victory Lane" (top 3) or even crack the Top 10 so it was a "meh" performance.  Maybe I am being pessimistic but she was doing great halfway there but couldn't keep it up to the end.

There wasn't much Sonic & Sega All-Stars pimpage on TV.  I really wonder if the NASCAR crowd even cares about Sega or Danica anyway.  What did Sega really gain out of Danica's car?  If there is one good thing to take away, it's that Sega got a little face time and that Danica finished the race without a scratch on the car.  That shredded tire incident was probably a miracle (watching the race live on TV, there's so much going on at once so you never know about those things until much later).  Our Danica fandom unfortunately ends here.  She's fulfilled her Sega quota and she'll go sponsor whatever dumb products they throw at her.  Next, we wait for the actual Sega All-Stars Racing game to be released then deal with the idiotic reviewers next.  Someday, Sega will make it back to the NASCAR oval and we will win again.  Today's not that day.  Until then, be proud that Danica did "okay."

I know some will question why I made a big deal out of this.  Why it was a red letter day to me.  Hey, how often do you see "SEGA" printed on a stock car?  Sega racing fan, put the clues together, now you know why it was so important.  Even if the outcome was probably so significant regardless of what happened.  It makes a feel good story anyway.

Was a beautiful car too...shame she couldn't win in it.  Oh poor Sega...  That's just the way it is...some things will never change.

BTW, Danica reminding you about Daylight Savings tonight.  Finally, I get that extra hour.  Now go drive the Tissot Swiss Watches car and get outta here...

Unless there's some Danica post-race news that's worth posting, I'll probably go on the down low for the next few days because of the Presidential Election.  Once that passes over, I will return and talk about stupid crap no one cares about yet again.  Oh, and I will also blow up my website and fix it in the meantime (maybe).  Laters.

BTW, LSU just blew the game to Alabama in typical Les Miles fashion.  I swear, LSU will always be Bama's bitch.  As someone from LA, it's sad but true.

Danica In The #7 Sonic Car Whole Race Recap

All times in Eastern Time Zone.
Anything I type in is subject to change cause I might misread something.
NOTE I AM ONLY LOOKING AT NATIONWIDE EVENTS.  SPRINT CUP DOES NOT COUNT (she is not driving the Sega car there).

NOTE: The race is over.  Hit the jump if you want to read the entire weekend as it unfolded.

Danica's Race Is Upon Us...Let's Go SEGA

Hello boys and girls, hope you had a fun Halloween with House of the Dead and lots of candy.  I hope and pray everyone is okay with Hurricane Sandy.

Anyway, check this out.  Today's GameFAQs poll: Which scheduled November release are you most looking forward to?

Halo 4 -- 23.36% 

Paper Mario: Sticker Star -- 12.58% 

Call of Duty: Black Ops II -- 12.17% 

Persona 4: Golden -- 11.52% 

Hitman: Absolution -- 10.71% 

PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale -- 8.49% 

New Super Mario Bros. U -- 6.93% 

LEGO The Lord of the Rings -- 5.34% 

ZombiU -- 4.04%

Epic Mickey 2: The Power of Two -- 1.98% 

PlanetSide 2 -- 1.83%

LittleBigPlanet Karting -- 1.04% 


For me, it's Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing: Transformed.  But wait....it's not on there.  But LittleBigPlanet Karting is.  What gives?  Anyone here enthusiastically waiting for Little Big Planet Karting?  Really???

But this isn't to knock LittleBigPlanet since I don't have a bone to pick with that.  It's a racing game that's not Need for Speed/Burnout/wreck 'em clone so that's a huge plus.  But Sega All-Stars Racing's absence falls in line with this Sega anti-bias that I've mentioned before.  That any game Sega puts out is somehow a joke or not to be taken seriously.  Like this Sega All-Stars Racing game is "another terrible Sonic sellout game, just a Mario Kart clone, Danica Patrick sucks, herp derp, why bother listing it in the poll."  Okay, I am probably making much to do out of nothing (maybe the poll guy just "forgot" about Sega All-Stars Racing) but look--if you're going to stiff Sega in some way, I'm going to call you out on it.  Cause if I don't, who will????

And yeah, if Sega All-Stars Racing was in the poll, it would barely scratch 1-2%, I know.  But just having the game's name on the poll would make me happy enough.

While we're on GameFAQs polls, I went back one month and looked at the poll for October: Which scheduled October release are you most looking forward to?


Assassin's Creed III -- 27.89% 

Resident Evil 6 -- 21.32% 

Pokemon Black/White Version 2 -- 21.01% 

Dishonored -- 11.21% 

XCOM: Enemy Unknown -- 5.9% 

WWE '13 -- 2.97% 

Ragnarok Odyssey -- 2.8% 

Forza Horizon -- 1.71% 

007 Legends -- 1.59%

Fable: The Journey -- 1.56%

Medal of Honor: Warfighter -- 1.31%

Skylanders Giants -- 0.72% 


I notice there is an absence of Need for Speed: Most Wanted - A Criterion Game (no seriously, look at the GameFAQs page, Criterion changed the f***in title at the last minute).  Can't say I'm shed any tears over it but it makes Sega All-Stars Racing's absence from the November poll a little more tolerable.  Anytime someone "takes down" the competition, I am happy. :D

I see that Forza Horizon and Need for Speed: Most Wanted - A Criterion Game have the same Metacritic average--an 85 out of 100 which is great but not outstanding.  In the Fantasy Zone, Sega: All-Stars Racing: Transformed could possibly rank higher than these two ( >= 86 ) but do I think that'll happen?  No.  They'll probably dump all over the game for the reasons stated earlier.  And in theme with the upcoming elections, that is why we need to turn out MORE THAN EVER in defense of Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing: Transformed on November 20th.  It is THAT IMPORTANT.  I mean, I've denounced "professional" reviews many, many times before, but as long as these dolts continue to piss all over our games for reasons I disagree with, my knee-jerk reaction is to hit them for it.

Stolen from this epic bread

Which leads to Danica Patrick driving the Sega Sonic the Hedgehog car at Saturday's Nationwide Race at Texas at 7 pm ET.  She finished 10th at Saturday's Nationwide race at Kansas (and dropped 14 f-bombs on RaceBuddy) and got in a tiff with Landon Cassill and spun out on Sunday's race and looked like friggin idiot on TV.  Well I am SCARED now for Danica and Sega.  Because if Danica f***s this up, then it WILL NOT help our cause any.  I'll be tracking Danica this Friday & Saturday in anxious anticipation on how she treats the Sonic car.  I mean, I know Danica doesn't give two s***s about Sega, she's overrated, she's in lousy GoDaddy ads, and she had a bad temper, but FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DANICA, YOU HAVE TO WIN THIS FOR US!!!!  YOU ARE SEGA'S LAST HOPE!!!!

From a Something Awful post THAT I CAN'T READ

Seriously, if Danica somehow wins (or at least passes Joey Logano in the stupid ass Forza Horizon/Need for Speed: Most Wanted - A Criterion Game car) then I will flip my s***, throw a damn party, buy a copy of of Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing: Transformed for every platform as well as this $320 1/24 scale diecast car.  Though I am only buying the stuff if Danica actually wins, she's gotta be So Good It Takes AGES for me to actually spend money:

Danica...IT CAN BE DONE!!!

EDIT, check this out:

Here's another new trailer.  Also, I would like to say this.  For the last time, people, if I have to hear one more complaint about this game over Sonic the Hedgehog, I'm going to puke.  This isn't a Sonic game, this is a SEGA RACING GAME and that's why I'm 100% behind it.  So enough of this "sonic this, sonic that," play the game to GO RACING, BOOGITY BOOGITY BOOGITY!!!

Danica's New Wheels (GODADDY, GO GO GO GO)

Ooooooo, now we know what Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing: Transformed spokeswoman Danica Patrick's in-game car looks like in Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing: Transformed and it is this:

To be honest, I think she looks fine.  They even got her breast size right!  Ok, I don't want to sound like a creep here.  But really, I think the realistic style is best and that's how I thought she would be.  Cartoony would've sucked.  Again, her appearance reminds me of Brooke Burke from Pocketbike Racer but so what...this is DANICA we're talking about here.  Danica doing Nationwide commercials with Junior...I mean, two of my MOST FAVORITE DRIVERS of all time in one commercial, doesn't get any better than that.

Now for the car.  Well, for some dumb reason, I thought she would be driving the blue Sonic All-Stars Racing car from the E3 presentation which ruined my life.  I didn't think she would be driving the Hornet either--I mean, it wouldn't logically make sense, like if Danica, Jacky Bryant, or Segata Sanshiro were driving the car, it would merge two characters in one.  Yes, I consider the Hornet to be its own standalone character so it doesn't need a special driver.  Remember Fighters Megamix?  Leave the Hornet on its own.

But we have an Indy Car here.  With SIX WHEELS.  And I think it looks cool even if the Go Daddy and Hot Wheels ads are just there for some goofy ass reason but so what cause I like Hot Wheels and Go Daddy commercials make me laugh (shame on me).  But it's strange because Danica basically quit Indy Car to drive full-time in NASCAR.  So why would Danica reassociate herself with Indy Car?

EDIT: It just dawned on me--there were five Sega Hot Wheels a while back (2003)--regular cars with paint jobs from Jet Set Radio, Space Channel 5, Super Monkey Ball, House of the Dead, and Shinobi.  No Hornet unfortunately, WHAT A DISGRACEFUL MOVE BY HOT WHEELS.  MICRO MACHINES WERE BETTER ANYWAY.  See them here.

I just thought of a conspiracy.  Danica isn't driving a stock car because there's already one in the game...HORNET CONFIRMED FOR SEGA ALL-STARS RACING 2.  Or it could be because Indy Cars are more appealing to the general worldwide audience.  EDIT: I guess this also deconfirms the Virtua Racing car, but that was a long shot anyway.  Danica is gonna be one of my go-to characters (assuming the Hornet is not in cause I would pick it 100% of the time).  Show those pathetic Sega message boarders who piss and moan about Danica who's boss (DEBRIS ON THE TRACK!!!).  I guarantee that even though Danica can't win in real life, she'll win in the game!!!

Anyway, just some fun news for you about Go Daddy.  About a month ago, millions of GoDaddy websites and domains went down.  A hacker from Anonymous took claim for it.  Basically, some man-child in his mother's basement took down a good chunk of the Internet.  I should know because my game studio's website was down for a moment.

Spoiler alert--I registered the domain "phantomfullforce.com" a few months ago.  And now you know about this startling revelation even though it's been right up there in your URL bar for months.  Just $10 bucks a year.  What good it does for me, I don't know, I just don't like the "blogspot" part of the domain I suppose.  But what it has to do with Go Daddy?  When I clicked to register the domain, it said "You'll register this domain with Go Daddy.  Is this okay?"  And I chickened out at the last minute since I'm not 100% on board with Go Daddy (the whole SOPA debacle didn't help their cause any).  Pressed cancel, clicked again, it offered me some other host and there I go.  Turns out had I stuck with Go Daddy, my site would've been down.  And that would've been a horrible day in all of our lives.

But in a twist, GoDaddy said it wasn't hacked and that it had experienced internal network issues instead (the Anonymous guy lied).  We don't know if Go Daddy is BSing us, but if they were, we know the reason why the servers went down.  Clearly when Danica posted her new spread, the massive amount of traffic that ensued caused the servers to implode.  Yes, that's most certainly what happened.

Every time we talk about Danica, we need at least one Go Daddy commercial so here goes:

Danica's pet beaver.

Anyway, one more joke for the road.  Also a month ago at the Atlanta Nationwide race, there was controversy as Brad Keslowski threw a plastic water bottle out the window of his car which presumably led to a yellow flag due to "debris."  It's debatable that Brad threw the bottle after the yellow flag was out and his littering was irrelevant.  Kevin Harvick got mad at Brad because the yellow flag cost both of them the race (Kevin had a big lead but the caution forced Kevin to pit for gas or something and gave Ricky Stenhouse Jr. the win).  And I'm on RaceBuddy, NASCAR.com's free service that allows you to preview a couple of live car cams as the race happens, and people will post SFW things that are still idiotic "GO 88888888888888" OR "DENNY BLOW UP ALREADY."  Everyone still gives Danica a hard time and someone blurts out something along the lines of, "Danica should throw her bra out on the track."  I lost it then.  A juvenile story but I had to pad the length of this post with SOMETHING so there you go.  Adios.

EDIT: Just ordered Sonic & Sega All Stars Racing: Transformed BONUS EDITION off Amazon today.  $40 for just the game plus shipping (Amazon has free 5-10 day shipping if you like), it costs the same as the regular SaSASR:T version but with Metal Sonic and the OutRun course so buy the bonus version NOW or else.  I even went the distance and paid an extra $10 for one-day shipping so I can play it by Nov. 21.  Pshyeah, I'm a hardcore gamer.  *wegotabadass.jpg*