2013 Motorsports Recap! Part 2, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Hello boys and girls!  You know what time of the year it is...it's CHRISTMAS time which means more ass-kicking race car clips for you!!  Let's begin.


The All-Star Race is a side attraction to the circus show to the NASCAR, but at least they got one good thing going for it.  Qualifying for the All-Star Race is different than regular season races and is a little game of its own.  Each driver runs three laps and has to make one pit stop.  There's no speed limit on pit road so they ZOOM right on through!  See the Beginner course trick from Daytona USA.  Bitch please, I drive through pits to shave 1.5 seconds off my laps. Though in NASCAR, you have to stop in your pit lane, so yeah, there's that too.

Messing up your pit docks you time penalties so don't screw up.  Top three qualifiers get $50K, $10K, and $5K respectively to share between themselves and their pit crews.


In previous years preceding the All-Star Race was the Pit Crew Challenge.  Basically, pit crews raced against the clock to complete their respective tasks and push their car across the finish line first.  It's a clever little ruse and pit lane choices for the All-Star Race are determined by the results of the Pit Crew Challenge.  But they didn't hold the event in 2013 for some reason so...yeah, disappointing.

These pit crew guys are athletes too, you're a fool to think otherwise.


Anyway, speaking of pit stops...here's Indy Car again.  This was at Sonoma, the 15th race of the season (out of 18).  In the thick of the championship hunt, Scott Dixon (red car) and Will Power (black car) pitted late in the race.  One of Power's crew members was walking with a tire and Dixon clipped him as he drove out.  Fortunately he wasn't hurt but Indycar penalized Dixon a pit drive-thru.

Dixon dropped from first to 15th and Power laughed his ass of as he won the race.  There was debate that the pit member deliberately stuck the tire out in order to hinder his rival.  It could've been an accident because the Indycar pit lanes differ from the lines on the pavement.  Regardless, hitting other pit crews is a black & white issue so there was no room for Dixon to debate.  There was some controversy but regardless, Dixon won the Championship and Power came in 4th overall.  Serves them right.


Back to NASCAR funny antics!  Here's Max Papis and he likes slapping people.  After the Nationwide race at Road America, he pays a little favor to his rival Billy Johnson, while walking away with that shit-eating grin.

And Max Slapis would later get his at a Craftsman Truck Race at Circuit Gilles Villeneue in Montreal.  After getting involved in a late-race wreck, a crazy lady (girlfriend of the driver of the #6 car, Mike Skeen) bitch-slapped him in the face on camera (it's at the end of the video).

Max claimed his jaw was dislocated and his ears rung after that hit.  If so, well, I smell a lawsuit!  No idea what came of it...


More fighting in NASCAR??  NO WAY!!  Rednecks gonna redneck.  BUT FIRST...Le Mans 24 (or "Luh Mah").  Drunken louts mumble and moon the camera.  THIS IS FRANCE, THE CULTURAL CENTER OF THE WORLD, WE DON'T DO SHITE LIKE THIS, RIGHT????

Back to NASCAR, basically Joey Logano is the Grim Reaper.  Well, what do I mean.  Joey gets in a fight with Denny Hamlin after a race at Bristol.  Denny would later get injured at Fontana and sit out for six weeks.

Who's next?  Tony Stewart goes redneck on Joey.  Whoops, Tony gets hurt in a dirt race in Iowa.

And Ryan Newman ALMOST came to blows with Joey but held back.  Good for Ryan!  Cause nobody f**ks with Joey.


Ya wanna see more fighting?  Let's get back to Danica Patrick.  Kyle Petty, "Danica Patrick is not a racecar driver!"  Instant classic, although I wouldn't say Kyle is that much better than Danica.  Only eight Cup Series wins in 30 years of NASCAR.  Ooooo, burned, Kyle!!!  Give Danica a couple more years and a non-shitty race team and she'll whoop your old man ass.  Okay, maybe not, but he makes a good point.  Danica has been in more than her fair share of commercials (plus one Sega racer) and doesn't have much to back it up besides a pair of tits.

But Danica is still not immune!  Here comes Jay Mohr at the NASCAR awards banquet--wait, that ass clown that read jokes off the sheet of paper at Blizzcon??  Yes indeed.  Danica and her new BF Ricky Stenhouse Jr. are not amused.  Seriously, can someone who is NOT an idiot criticize Danica for once?

Oh hey, one more clip.  This is between truck drivers Kevin Harvick (#14) and the "spoiled rich kid" Ty Dillon (#3).  Dillon clips Harvick and they both take a dive.  Harvick pulls up to Dillon's pit stop and gets a sledgehammer tossed at his car.  Last time I checked, getting hit by a tossed sledgehammer can be rather painful.  Whose the wise-ass who threw it?  It's at the end of the clip BTW.

And some more funny/cool shite:

*Brad Keselowski goes for a leisurely jog.
*Tony Stewart REDNECKS at the new cool Kyle Busch.
*Carl Edwards gets paper on his grille and gets in a fight with Greg Biffle when needing to use Greg's bumper as a toothbrush (the story sucks, I apologize).
*Brutal last-lap wreck at Talladega truck race.
*Greg Biffle's pink bumper peels off during the caution and channels his inner Mister Mayhem.

*I become a Kurt Busch fan because he drives the Wonder Bread and City Chevrolet cars in Sprint Cup and Nationwide respectively.  Mad props to him.  Kurt ballin on your chin.

*Donovan McNabb says NASCAR drivers are not athletes.  You know what, Donny boy?  You're a washed up QB like Jake Delhomme and Rex Grossman who bummed your to Superbowl losses against superior teams with superior QB's.  Definition of sport: "An activity involving physical exertion and skill in which an individual or team competes against another or others for entertainment."   Driving fast cars for 3+ hours requires a lot of stamina (and is very frustrating).  Otherwise, everybody would be doing it.  Besides, ESPN airs Poker and Spelling Bee championships and can those be called sports??  GET OUTTA HERE...

*Jimmie Johnson wins his sixth title.  Real shocker there.  Matt Kenseth almost had him but had to choke down the final stretch.  The fans on social media were raged at Jimmie's win because he's a "cheater" and he doesn't deserve it.  Unlike other NASCAR legends like Dale Earnhardt and Richard Petty, Jimmie didn't build his own team from scratch--he basically inherited Hendrick's birthright.  But regardless, kudos to him since to win that many titles when everyone hates your guts is definitely admirable.

*Also, F1.  You thought Jimmie was ruining his sport.  Well, how about Sebastian Vettel, German driver of the Red Bull team?  He won the last 9 races of the 2013 F1 season.  Yes, NINE WINS IN A ROW.  He also won the last four championships in a row.  Now F1 is talking of adding more double points races in order to level the playing field to give trailing drivers a chance to catch up to runaways like Sebastian.  Just like NASCAR instituting the Chase in response to Jimmie's domination (read my thoughts on the Chase here).  Parity, what's that?  Lol...

I pick my nose after every race.

*RIP Jason Leffler.  RIP Allan Simonsen.  RIP Paul Walker.  Fast cars are still not safe.  It makes me sad but they are to be admired for being true gearheads.  I already said my piece on deceased drivers after the Dan Wheldon crash.  Injuries and death keep happening but some would rather risk it than live a boring safe life so kudos man...kudos... ;_;

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! :D :D :D

Classy.

PART ONE RIGHT HERE.

2013 Motorsports Recap! Part One

Hello boys and girls!  It's been a while but don't fear, I come bringing good tidings of old motorsports of 2013!  I stockpiled clips of racing during the whole year to fill your warm fireplaces with joy in this abstinence of race cars this frigid winter.  Ok, let's get it on, I got a lot of catching up to do.

First we will we start with IndyCar.  No, not the Indy 500, but close to it.  This is the Firestone Indy Lights race held on May 24th, two days before the Indy 500.  It's like the Minor League of IndyCar.  But this race had one of the best finishes in history.  It must be watched.  You will never see four cars outside of NASCAR finish this close to each other in a long time.

Once you're done pissing yourself, it's time to move on to May 26th!  Alright, this is the 97th running of the Indianapolis 500, the greatest spectacle of motorsports.  You win the Indy 500, you are a legend among drivers regardless of your other feats as your name goes on that hefty trophy for all time.  Even if you aren't a full-time IndyCar driver, you can still participate for the glory of racing.

This year, the honor goes to a Mr. Tony Kanaan of Brazil.  It was arguably one of the best runnings of the Indy 500 of all time because there were a grand total of 64 lead changes (among 14 different leaders), which eclipsed the previous record of 34 set last year.  While it was exciting, the race ended under a yellow flag because Dario Franchitti wrecked with three laps to go.  Since IndyCar doesn't do Green-White-Checkered finishes like NASCAR (which means you run the 200 laps and no more than that), the race unenthusiastically ends with the cars puttering across the finish line.

There are implications to this.  Kanaan and his rivals, primarily Carlos Munoz and Ryan Hunter-Reay, were exchanging the lead every couple of laps so it was basically a crapshoot going into the final 5-10 laps.  This is because in IndyCar (and not NASCAR), there are rules against blocking faster cars more than once.  If a faster car is about to pass and you can't outrun him, you may only move to block him ONCE, afterwards you give him the right of way or else you're penalized.  Since the cars are so close, they were able to draft and pass each other continuously.  Therefore, had Franchitti not wrecked with three laps to go, Kanaan might've surrendered the lead to Munoz or Hunter-Reay and lost the race.  But no, Franchitti sealed his fate and thus will be receiving a Christmas card by a certain someone this year, I bet.

Vin Diesel's Brazilian cousin.

Now, this finish-under-caution wouldn't be such a downer except for the fact it has happened in the three of the last four Indy 500's with the odd man out actually involving a crash as well but no caution (J.R. Hildebrand's chokejob).  So basically it's "Wreckers or Checkers."  Can't blame 'em cause winning the Indy 500 is the highlight of your career.  But still, I kinda wish they had the GWC finishes like NASCAR does.

Later that day, there was the Coke 600 in Charlotte, the longest race of the NASCAR season.  And the commentators were dumping all over IndyCar for not implementing the GWC finish.  Okay, fine, they make a valid point.  But then they take a text message poll, "Which race is harder to win, the Indy 500 or the Coke 600?"  At that point, I think I shit myself.  Now, I love my NASCAR and can understand the 600 miles are so taxing, but the Indy 500 is the BIGGEST RACE IN THE WORLD and I think tacking on an extra 100 miles (in slower cars too) isn't enough to make it harder than the Indy 500, I'm sorry guys.

As for Formula 1, Monaco was boring and I was too sleepy to pay attention (it aired at 3 am in Florida).  All I remember is Pastor Maldonado being popped like a pimple.  Monaco is apparently too tight to be competitive anymore.

Now, back to NASCAR.  Because I love NASCAR even if it sucks.  A week before the Coke 600, NASCAR holds a mid-season All-Star Race.  It's worth zero season points but it has a million dollar prize for the winner.  It's a short race (90 laps, 135 miles) with four forced cautions to split up the monotony (why???).  It's balls-out racing and there's no teamwork here so cut your opponents off Mario-Kart style for the bookoo bucks!!

Listen to the cool-ass music.  Anyway, this year there were 22 drivers with 21 of them being selected by certain merits--having the most points in the season, winning at least one race, or winning the pre-race event beforehand (the pub all-star event against crappy slow cars who don't stand a chance).  Also, there's room for one additional driver who wins the "fan vote."  Take a wild guess who got into the race this year?  Huh?  From Jasper, Illinois, it's Danica Patrick.  She finished 20th.  And Jimmie Johnson finished first.  OF COURSE, WHAT DID YOU EXPECT???

Now, to dump on NASCAR some more, let's take a look at Tony Kanaan and Jimmie Johnson who won both their respective races.  Jimmie Johnson won $1,000,000.  Want to take a guess what Tony Kanaan won? $2,353,355, a 2014 Corvette Pace Car, and 2014 regular Corvette, and the most fabled race trophy in auto racing.

Go home NASCAR, you're drunk.

Oh boy...there's so many more videos left to show you so I'm going to call it a day for now and post the rest later!  I promise.  Cya tomorrow!

PART 2 RIGHT HERE.

Rush: An Adrenaline Shot In Movie Form

When I heard there was going to be a "Rush" movie in 2013, I nearly pissed myself.  They're making a shitty movie adaptation for San Francisco Rush the game, a la Need for Speed?

Actually, no, this has nothing to do with video games, cause this is "based on a true story."  A really good story about two rival Formula 1 drivers, James Hunt (England) and Niki Lauda (Austria).  And thank you Ron Howard for being an actual petrolhead and not f***ing up this movie like Hollywood usually does (the movie cynic in me enjoys poking holes in things, like this).  88% on Rotten Tomatoes isn't bad!

As you can tell, this was in the 70's when safety was of little concern and musicians actually made decent music.  No seriously, they actually play Gimme Some Lovin' in the first racing scene which proves Ron saw Days of Thunder, or something, so tack on an extra star to the final score!  Rubbin' is racing!!!  Boogity boogity!!!

Here you have the two protagonists, Lauda and Hunt, who are Formula 3 rivals that moved up to Formula 1, and they totally contrast in personality.  James Hunt is a raw talent, a brash driver who loves to party.  He defied F1 driver tradition that a driver must behave and be treated like royalty.  Hunt loved the lady parts, as you can see right away within the first 30 seconds of the movie, Hunt is banging the nurse.  So thank you James for turning this movie into a porno.  He's also bulimic because he throws up before every race.

Mim-bo (noun) - a male bimbo.

On the other hand, Niki Lauda is the MAN.  More reserved, cool, calm, and calculated, he could tune cars like no one's business.  He has a cool-ass name and actually stayed faithful to his wife (at least for a little while).  Niki is what's great about racing.

Pictured: my new man-crush.

So quick rundown of the movie.  Hunt and Lauda are in Formula 3, Hunt wins the championship and later gets a Formula 1 ride with Hesketh, some crappy race team that thought driving a bleached white car with no sponsors is a good idea.  On the other hand, Lauda "cheated," denounced his father's boring-ass businessman lifestyle, took out a big loan, and swooned the Ferrari people by building a superior car that outdid the previous ones by several seconds.  Lauda would then later race a coupe through rural Italy to impress two fanboys and his future wife, proving that he's a baller.  At this point, the HEAT WAS ON between the two gentlemen...

Both sweet whips with that vintage 70's camera tint.  Notice the lack of #hashtags on their names (#twitterblows).

Both drivers took turns having strokes of life-changing bad luck.  Hunt was first.  Hesketh ran out of money and fired Hunt, leaving him to sit at home and watch his wife cheat on his scummy ass.  Hunt would later bang the flight attendant in the restroom to showcase his libido.  Lauda would go on to win his first championship, something that is skimmed over in the film.  The 1976 season is when Hunt gets a ride at McLaren and the two begin their duel.

Season begins in Brazil with some damn hot Carnival babes and quick 10-15 previews of each race of the season.  Lauda would take a commanding lead in the points as Hunt's car would frequently explode.  Hunt goes into Hulk mode and strikes back, winning a few races of his own, making them 1st-2nd in the points.

Later it's the German GP at Nurburgring.  Yes, THE Nurburgring Nordschleife with 154 turns.  And to make things worse, it's raining.  One racer was already hospitalized during practice.  Lauda then holds a driver's meeting and tries to call the race off as too dangerous, Hunt basically calls him a pussy, and the drivers race anyway.  Both Hunt and Lauda opt for wet tires at the start only for the track to dry up quickly and both to go to the pits for dry tires after the first lap.

And here's where Lauda's bad luck strikes.  Obviously way behind from the leader, he pushes the car so hard the suspension breaks on one turn as he goes careening into the wall in a blazing inferno as some other guy wrecks into Lauda's flaming casket.  Lauda suffers paralyzing burns and smoke inhalation while Hunt laughs his ass off as he wins races while Lauda is on the hospital bed.

This wreck seems oddly symbolic to my recent woes that I teared up in the theater.  One morning in May 2013, while racing to work on the wet pavement, I push the car harder than I should in an attempt to make up ground.  Eventually the wet pavement gets the best of me as I slide into a dumpster, smashing it up in the process.  Three days later, I would be fired from my job and sit unemployed for five months as distraught me has to watch my friend and rivals move up the career ladder without me.  My story isn't as bad as Lauda's but the similarities are there!  Fuck wet blacktop parking lots, put up a friggin sign or something.

Eventually, Lauda would go through accelerated therapy, have the junk sucked out of his lungs and the bandaids peeled from his head.  A month passed and Hunt nearly caught up to him in the points.  Lauda gets back out there (a burnt up disfigured mess, no doubt) and after giving the best "fuck you" I've ever heard to an asshole reporter, puts up a solid 4th place at Monza with fans running at his car after the race while Hunt DNF's again.  Which meant one thing...

NIKI LAUDA

IS

BACK

Final race of the season!  It's at Fuji Speedway--PREPARE TO QUALIFY!!!  Oh, and it's raining.  F1 cars can drive in the rain but in the storm that you see here?  Well...yes they could back in the 70's, when they had big balls and the rides were high enough to make wet racing possible.  After one lap of driving through dense fog, Lauda does the most admirable thing a driver can do--goes to the pits and retires from the race.  It's too dangerous, he said, it's not worth risking your lives over a stupid trophy!  Tell that to Hunt who needs to finish 3rd or better to beat Lauda for the grand prize.  It was a nailbiter for Lauda as all he could do is watch and pray Hunt doesn't win...

Obligatory F1 car in the rain shot.

SHOCKER--Hunt finishes 3rd, wins the championship, and Lauda has no regrets.  It wasn't racing, Lauda said, it was stupid of Hunt to risk his life like that.  After a bunch of TV appearances and booze, drug, and women sessions later, Hunt meets Lauda again, Lauda having taken up the hobby of flying planes.  They tip their hats to each other and the movie ends.  Lauda would go on to win two more championships and live to see the premiere of this movie (which he admired, BTW) while Hunt would go on to be a race announcer and die of a heart attack in 1993.  While Hunt turned out to be a washed-up loser who won his only championship cause his main competition was hospitalized by a near-death experience, Lauda later admitted Hunt was the only driver he was ever jealous of.  Which means a lot from the man, myth, and legend that is NIKI LAUDA.

Great movie, would see again.  Very accurate and gives you a sense of what vintage Formula 1 racing was really like  Only disappointment is that there's too much talking in the first half of the movie (come on, I wanna see some racing), plus there's no final race between Lauda and Hunt to settle the score once and for all.  But a final race would be unrealistic.  Also at no point do they play a Rush song in the movie though that would be cheesy as hell.  So I'll give you some Rush right here.

Oh well, I give this FIVE out of FOUR stars (remember the additional one cause of Gimme Some Lovin').  Just go watch the movie, seriously, right away, race in an F1 car to the theater or Redbox now.

1976, same year Fleetwood Mac would release The Chain, best F1 song ever, no question.  I WANNA GO FAST!!!

I can't tell you how many times I typed "Nikia Lauda" while writing this post, lol.

NASCAR: The Reality TV Series

So this is the first time I've posted in a month so it'll be difficult but I'll try my best.

The NASCAR season has 10 races to go.  This is the "Chase."  Let me explain for those who don't know.  For the first 26 races of the season, drivers gain points and wins, like a regular race series.  Once the 26 races are over, the Top 12 drivers are entered into the Chase, where the points are reset and it becomes a brand new season over the last 10 races.  Drivers that fail to make the Chase still participate in the races but only the 12 Chase drivers can win the championship trophy.  So basically, if you want to win the Big Trophy at the end, you MUST make the Chase.

As you imagine, there's a couple of problems with this.  The first one is if you gain enough points to lock yourself in the Chase, those last couple of races become meaningless in terms of the Championship.  Look at Jimmie Johnson's record over the last 4 races--finished 40th, 36th, 28th, and 40th, very noobish, I figure Jimmie liked wrecking the car cause "YOLO, I'm in the Chase anyway."  Yeah, Jimmie has that baby girl but who cares, NASCAR trumps family.  The second one, which we can see on display now, is that racing teams will "game the system" to get their drivers enough points to make it to the Chase.  That is not to say this has never happened in motorsport but the nature of the Chase just acerbates the problem.

Richmond was the 26th race, a 3/4 mile oval.  Four drivers were on the bubble--Joey Logano (#22), Martin Truex Jr. (#56), Jeff Gordon (#24), and Ryan Newman (#39), and only two of the four could make the Chase.  A couple of things go down and here's what I got out of the flurry of news the last few days:

* Early in the race, Jeff Gordon struggles and goes a lap down.  Going a lap down is a death kneel for a driver's chances of winning.  Think about restarts as "rounding up" your lap progress so if you're on the lead lap when that happens, you gain a lot of ground (dropped a second behind the leader) that you don't get a lap down.   So stay on the lead lap as long as you can.  Hendrick Motorsports teammate Jimmie Johnson dings his car to draw a caution that helps Jeff get his s*** together and back on the lead lap.

* Brian Vickers is ordered to pit with a few laps to go to help his fellow Michael Waltrip Racing teammate, Martin Truex Jr., move up another spot.

* Joey Logano falters late into the race (about 20-25th place).  One position ahead of Logano is David Gilliliand (#38).  Penske Motorsports (Logano's team) bribes Front Row Racing (Gilliliand's team) to tell the Gilliliand to slow down and let Logano pass.

* But worst of all!  Late in the race, Ryan Newman is leading the race by a sizable margin.  If he wins, then he's in the Chase.  Michael Waltrip Racing, owner of Clint Bowyer (#15) and Martin Truex Jr.'s cars, is aware that Truex Jr. is in jeopardy of missing the Chase if Newman wins.  So Clint (who is a lock for the Chase) is ordered to spin out with 5 laps to go to help Truex Jr.  A caution comes out and on the restart, Newman loses his momentum and finishes 3rd.  It gives Truex Jr. just enough points to make the Chase.

"39's gonna win the race"

"Well that kinda sucks...5 more right here"

"Is your arm starting to hurt?"

"I bet it's hot in there, itch it"

"Oh yeah"

*le spin*

There's no real defense of what happened here.  Shoot, in the post race interview, if you stare away from the camera and say "Yeah, uhhmm, we had a bad tire..." you're lying.  And Clint continues to do television interviews denying any wrongdoing with team owner Michael Waltrip claims Clint really had poison ivy (who tells someone to really scratch their arm on the radio???).  He's not in court, he doesn't need to plead the 5th, he's already been slapped on the wrist, he might as well say "I cheated, I'm sorry" and just get on with it.  But no, he continues to shred any credibility he's had thus far.  If you're dug in a hole, most give up but a few keep digging their way to China.  Remember this is the same guy from a year ago who instigated a brawl with Jeff Gordon so I'm not surprised by Bowyer's actions.

Post-race, the initial result were Truex Jr. and Logano are in the Chase and Gordon and Newman are out.  However, the next day, NASCAR penalized Michael Waltrip Racing, deducting points from Bowyer, Truex Jr., and Vickers and suspending their pit chiefs.  The point loss was enough to replace Newman with Truex Jr. in the Chase.  And then, a few days later, after the Logano controversy comes to light and after Gordon's bitching, NASCAR puts Gordon in the chase too for a grand total of 13 Chase drivers, flagrantly tossing the rulebook out the window.  As of now, Logano or Gordon were not penalized for their mutinies.

The only thing more baffling is Michael Waltrip's dance routine.

EDIT: It gets better!  Today, NASCAR adds a new rule to the book that reaffirms COMMON SENSE SPORTS ETIQUETTE that we were taught by Herm Edwards years ago.

NASCAR requires its competitors to race at 100 percent of their ability with the goal of achieving their best possible finishing position in an event. Any competitor who takes action with the intent to artificially alter the finishing positions of the event or encourages, persuades or induces others to artificially alter the finishing position of the event shall be subject to a penalty from NASCAR. Such penalties may include but are limited to disqualification and/or loss of finishing points and/or fines and/or loss of points and/or suspension and/or probation to any and all members of the teams, including any beneficiaries of the prohibited actions.

Artificially altered' shall be defined as actions by any competitor that show or suggest that the competitor did not race at 100 percent of their ability for the purpose of changing finishing positions in the event at NASCAR's sole discretion.

Is this really necessary?  Are NASCAR drivers dicking around that much that they need to be told "you better try hard or else"?  Can't we just say "don't game the system" and call it a day?  Okay, so this 100% balls out thing is A BIG F'ING DEAL.  Get Rich Christensen on the phone.  He runs bracket drag races (which make no sense) and he can tell when you're not going all out, hence the name of his show PINKS: ALL OUT.  Some BS like "Jimmie Johnson ran a 32 sec lap at qualifying, now he's running 31.5 sec laps late in the race, he's clearly sandbagging, BLACK FLAG HIS ASS."

IF YOU DON'T GO ALL OUT, YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE HERE

NASCAR has no idea what they're doing.  Truex Jr. is the sacrificial lamb in this situation.  It's a shame because technically, he did nothing wrong, his teammates did.  Bowyer and Logano are still in the Chase, Truex isn't.  And after learning about Gordon's inclusion in the Chase, Truex Jr. objects to it.  Think about this--if Truex is punished by Bowyer's yellow flag, shouldn't Gordon be punished for Johnson's yellow flag too?  So basically, NASCAR is like a reality TV show that adds and changes flimsy rules as it goes on to create the drama it so desires.

I CALL BULLSHIT YOU GUYS

Besides, I'm getting tired of the Chase being called "NASCAR's playoffs" anyway.  In other sports, if you lose a playoff game (or series of games), you're eliminated from subsequent competition.  Players/teams are eliminated until one remains.  In NASCAR, this isn't the case since you can still participate in and win races even if you're mathematically eliminated from the Chase or aren't even in it in the first place.  Just get into the chase, get a car that can win mile/mile-and-a-half tracks and win the championship.  Besides, what are the odds these non-Chase drivers can win the Championship at that point in the Season?  Isn't the Chase useless except for resetting points and nullifying the progress made over the last 26 races?  It's absurd and I'm pretty sure most NASCAR diehards want it eliminated after 8 years of its institution.

Oh well, I'm a NASCAR fan but still, I have to shake my head at these guys anyway.  Tomorrow, we go Boogity Boogity Chase Racing again and it'll be brushed aside.  So anyway, that's it, and screw Alabama for yet another curb stomping of a SEC rival (Texas A&M).  Life sucks and I'm still unemployed but the SEGA flame never dies.

Beautiful Cinderella NASCAR Race!!! Very Inspirational!!!

If you didn't see the end of this Talladega race, you're a big dummy.

Congratulations!  Welcome to Victory Lane!  You made it!!

Just so you know, I helped that guy win.

Basically, teammates David Ragan (#34) and David Gilliand (#38), two of the Sprint Cup's "perennial losers," starting 11th/12th on the green-white-checkered finish, made a mad dash at the end of the Talladega race to finish 1st and 2nd respectively.  Unlike other cars, the two bump-drafted each other through the field.  I'm no David Ragan fan (who is anyway?) but I went NUTS when I saw him just slip into the lead and win.  Beautiful.  Especially teammate Gilliland, who had never won before, helping push his teammate across the line.  A very selfless deed...

Just for reference's sake, I decided to look up both Davids' records for the start of the 2013 season and let you know how poorly they had done up until Talladega, just to illustrate how amazing it was to see their 1-2 finish:

Track: Ragan's position - Gilliand's position (out of 43 cars)
Daytona: 35th - 38th
Phoenix: 38th - 37th
Las Vegas: 31st - 28th
Bristol: 21st - 24th
Fontana: 24th - 29th
Martinsville: 30th - 28th
Forth Worth: 26th - 32th
Kansas: 30th - 23rd
Richmond: 20th - 27th
Talladega: 1st - 2nd

To be fair, you look at Ragan in the #34 car last year and he fared very well at both Talladega races (7th and 4th) so you could tell that for this team, Talladega was their one bullet in the chamber...took a chance and won the race.  You'll probably lose next Sunday but savor this win as long as possible...

Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is you take a look at someone like David Regan and Gilliland and you think "well, they can't accomplish anything, they have no chance."  Well they had a chance with 2 laps to go and they WON.  Don't quit, don't ever give up, don't let people tell you "you have no chance."  JUST WIN, DAMMIT!!!!  Winners never quit and quitters never win.  Ok, you get the idea so GOOD NIGHT, POTENTIAL WINNERS!!!

Fast Go-Karts In Orlando! About Damn Time...

Okay, it's Saturday and my dad is hanging out with me in Orlando over the weekend.  What is there to do in the big O on Saturday?  PLENTY OF THINGS LIKE GET STUCK IN TRAFFIC AND LOUSY TOURIST TRAPS!!!

So after eating some pizza, me and my dad decided to go check out some go-karts.  There's one place to go and that is the Fun Spot.  It's basically a mini amusement park with a hundred, thousand billboards going up and down International Drive.  It has a bunch of go-kart tracks, bumper boats, that scary-ass flinger ride, and an arcade.

Wooohoooooooooooooo.....

Whatever, so me and dad get stuck in traffic for an hour but we make it to the Fun Spot.  Obviously my main goal is to check out that big-ass arcade of theirs!

There's the Fun Spot. 

Omg, arcade.

I get there and frantically search both floors for a Sega racing game.  Aaaaand...there is none.  After spending an hour lamenting the inevitable death of yet ANOTHER arcade (no really, it's like being a WWII medic who has watched the tenth soldier die in front of him...like it just sucks ass to be completely helpless to the fact you can't save 'em), we decide to go out the go-karts.

The "Fun" Spot, rofl.

Okay, they're fine, they've got FOUR different tracks on the premises (with all but one being multi-level), but there's a catch.  They're just super-ass slow--like I could run faster than these things.  I'm guessing they went 10-15 mph.  The tracks were neat but me and dad just had a sudden realization...the 45+ mph go-kart tracks that we've been meaning to visit for AGES...

FAST GO-KARTS

ARE

BACK...

Indeed, so we go rummaging the Fun Spot's pamphlet bin and find NOTHING based on go-karts.  No kidding right, like why would the Fun Spot tell us to go ride any other go-karts besides these?  Quick, let's leave the cheap-ass Fun Spot and run up the road to the Super McDonald's, get a pamphlet there, and head out to the go-karts at last.

Track Panorama

This is the go-kart track in question--the Orlando Kart Center.  Now to get to this place, you had to drive super far away from Disney, Universal, or any tourist trap...  Basically up the highway, down a few backroads, and there you go--a go-kart track.  I was tempted to wear by Daytona hat but no, I left it in the car.  It was probably for the best because this place turned out to be an F1 car haven...flying Brazilian flags (Ayrton Senna) and painting everything with Italian flag stripes (Ferrari).  Surely I would've been booted out of the building because I didn't know how to turn right, or something.

Someone else's video of le track

Me and dad sign up for three 10-minute sessions, a grand total of 30 minutes driving.  You start by filling out a health-and-safety form (in other words, we could die and we can't sue them) as well as a "nickname" on a computer (mine was "Junior" cause of #88 and I'm Eric Junior after all).  Then you're given a balaclava (those socks that go over your head) and a helmet.  Oh snap, this is getting serious.  BUT THERE'S MORE--while waiting in the lobby, for our turn, there's a crowd of latino-looking men speaking to each other in Italian.  They had Ferrari t-shirts on.  They had nicknames on the screens like "Alberto," "Omar," "Rodrigo," and "Goias."  Shit just got real.

Eventually, we put on our helmets and went to our assigned go-karts.  Since there was no starting grid or rolling start, you basically compete against each other to get the fastest possible lap time.  Computers can save each of your lap times and display them on screens next to your nickname.  They also displayed your kart's RPMs so you can see who had the fastest karts (an outstanding feature).  But enough about stats cause we're racing.

The Mysterious Driver!!!

I'll fix this damn picture later.

I am KICKING ASS at this stuff.  Forget about the whole "lap time" business--I was gunning for everyone and made a ton of passes.  My expertise at nailing the racing lines really payed off.  Brake in, accel out.  Gotta be careful though because if you slam the brakes, you'll do a slide and those aren't pretty in real life.  After two or three laps, I finally got a feel for the thing.  I was stunned after the first 10-minute session to find out that "Junior" had finished with the fastest time.  Nobody said anything to me afterwards but I was feeling rather hot so I just stood in front of a fan sipping my McDonald's Root Beer.

Junior wins!!

Second session, the unfortunate news is that my kart was slower this time.  The brakes were also weaker but at least I was less fearful of spinning out.  Because guys were making steady progress on me (what else could I do?), I summoned up some sisu* and basically threw the kart into the corners, taking turns at full speed when before, I would've let off the gas a little.  I slipped and slided but I ended up finishing somewhere in the middle in terms of time.  Real bummer but I overachieved considering my kart's performance compared to the others.

Really, Google???  Is your Picasa photo uploading so stupid it won't submit the images with the right rotation???

Third session turned out to be the same thing but with a slightly better kart.  This is when fatigue really kicked in.  The problem this whole time was the damn balaclava and helmet were really obstructing me.  Being constricted like that, I breathed in hot air which made me suffocate a bit so I had to adjust the mask often.  Also, I lifted up the helmet visor because the scratched lens really pissed me off.  Too bad all the dirt particles flew into my eye and made me uncomfortable.  I also got bruises on my arm and sides from bouncing up and down on a plastic kart seat all this time.  But regardless of physical pain, I still pushed the kart to 110 percent.  I finished the last session in 2nd which was a good way to end the day.

I know where to hold my next cake day.

After that, me and dad went home.  Dad had motion sickness, I had bruises and dirty eyes.  But we drove over 45+ mph and it was a rewarding experience.  Compared to video games, you actually get a "feel" of how the car's moving so you can react differently and do a better job of sensing where the racing lines are.  That made me think of the potential I could use in real race-car driving as well as in video games where the "feel" of the car (sense of speed, momentum, center of gravity, etc) comes into play.  Anyway, Orlando Kart Center.  Better than the Fun Spot.  Laters...

* - Had these guys been Finnish instead of Italian, I would've been in a world of trouble. >_>

ENJOY THE NASSCAR REACE

I hope you all enjoyed the Danica 500.  There isn't much to say about this race other than Jimmie won and Dale Jr. and Danica fared well (2nd and 8th respectively).

Gonna go off on a tangent on NASCAR.  I seem to be noticing a trend with a lot of these super-speedway plate races and that is people are constantly complaining about them being boring.  There wasn't a whole lot of passing this race--they rode single file to the finish and anytime someone like Dale Jr. tried to make a pass, no one would help them slingshot.  So Jimmie Johnson with his "cheating" car just stayed out in the lead and despite drafting his ass the whole way, no one could touch him.  Race over.

Overall, I'm just glad to see NASCAR on TV again with the rolling starts and the roaring engines and the burning rubber.  Even if the race is "boring," it's still NASCAR.  DAE LIKE THIS GEM WE CALL NASCAR????

I'm sorry guys, you have to click this link to watch the TAWP GEAYUH* clip because the BBC won't allow video embedding.

Oh yeah, so leading up to the race, I'm watching commercials and there's this Daytona 500 promo.  Take a look at THIS!!!

"Daytona 2" confirmed for XBL/PSN.

I don't have much to say.  I mean, here's your daily token EA antic/comment but I won't bother with it (related news: Real Racing 3 on iOS/Android is getting butchered by EA microtransactions).  BUT BESIDES THIS...

Today is my 25th birthday.  Happy birthday to me.  I'm getting older, Sega getting older, Daytona USA, Scud Race, Indy 500, OutRun getting older.  We are too old.

* - pronounce this in Jeremy Clarson's British accent

Gearbox Gets A Tire Flung At Its Head

This is as brief a post as possible since I'm tired and not in a very witty mood.

So there's Aliens: Colonial Marines.  Everyone knows that was one of Sega's babies.  Everyone knows Sega blew seven years of time & resources on it.  Everyone knows that it sucks.  And now everyone knows that Gearbox basically shifted resources from Aliens to other projects, particularly Borderlands and (get ready for it) Duke Nukem Forever.  This is a great link to read--here's the "anonymous" Sega employee at it again but unlike Zach Morris, this guy actually seems credible.  And even more Sega & Gearbox employees are confirming the same thing.  Apparently all those layoffs and the TimeGate outsourcing confirm that there was foul play here.  Oh, and before you say Sega should sue, apparently they can't because Gearbox basically met the contract and Sega just made a stupid mistake and LET 'EM OFF THE HOOK!!!

It just eats me up on the inside cause you look at it, here's Borderlands (a game I'm indifferent towards) which everyone gushes over "OMG GEARBOX AND 2K, SO AWESOME!!!"  And Sega money basically contributed to it.  But does Sega get anything from Borderlands's success?  No.  What a piece of crap.

And Gearbox CEO Randy Pitchford reminds me of Tim Tebow.  Tebow's a pretty cool guy but Randy's a dick.  I even saw a few job opportunities pop up at Gearbox during my tenure at grad school and there was a slight chance I would've gone but no--they suck, I wouldn't deal with Gearbox ever again.  Again, I hope Sega gets their head out of their ass and does a better job at publishing games where the developers don't wander off like idiots.

And then tomorrow is the Daytona 500.  You know I'm not at the race (I'm still at home in Slidell, Louisiana) and and I sure as heck am not going to drive straight there and buy scalped tickets outside the front door or hang on the outside fence Reese Bobby style, like this:

Well if it isn't your mangy, transient grand-daddy...

But just so you know, there was a wreck on Saturday's Nationwide Race on the last lap (can people finish races at Daytona anymore without a wreck???).  And people got hurt.  If you were hanging on the fence like Reese, well...watch out.

No, this isn't Final Destination, this is real.  At least the friggin grandstands don't topple to the ground!

Chris Graythen from Getty Images with the IMPRESSIVE photograph.

"HOLY SHIT!" indeed...pieces of debris as well as a tire from the wrecked #32 car flew through & over the fence on the final lap and injured 28 people (one in critical condition).  Literally, a 50-pounded shredded tire was on the seat right next to the guy (they're super hot, don't touch 'em).  Where I sat and took pics at the last two Daytona races (see here and here) was awfully close to where that tire ended up.  I was closer to the pit row entrance.  Either way, geez, it makes you think...

Now, this isn't even close to the biggest auto racing accident in history (that would be the 1955 Le Mans where 83 people died and 120 were injured, DAMN!!).  But this just cements one thing for me again and that is....I can't take seeing these wrecks lightly anymore.  I like cars and I know that wrecks are part of the sport but when you got people living in fear of fluke wrecks and debris destroying property and huring innocent people, I can't stand it.  Why I don't like these Burnout games and stuff.  And I know some people are saying "well you go to the race so you're taking a chance."  You wanna see a chance, look at those guys at the rally races which are within a few feet from a car slipping around on dirt.  Here, you're sitting back a couple of rows from a giant tire to fly right at their head.  Bits of debris and smoke, yeah, but heavy objects, no.

Had I been at the Daytona 500 tomorrow, I would've brought another Sega sign and waved it, but there's the chance they could lockdown on keeping people away from the fence which sucks.  So maybe I wouldn't have taken the pic anyway.  Just tragic all around this kind of stuff, NASCAR is getting more disappointing to watch. :(

Daytona 500 And Super Sprint BUMMER...

Kinda crummy news going on with my life.  I want to get this now before I start rambling about video games like a madman again...

First of all, I talked weeks, even months ago about going to the Daytona 500.  It's on the 24th--five days away.  I planned on going with my dad.  But it looks like I won't be going at all.  Here's why.

My grandfather (my father's father) is currently in a heart hospital.  A few days ago, he got hit hard by "septic shock" (bacteria poisons your blood) which came about from previous pancreatic cancer surgery which punctured his colon.  For a moment, we thought he was going to die.  Thankfully, he is making a recovery but not a really great one.  We still don't know if he's going to leave the hospital any time soon.  Because of this, my dad doesn't want to take off to Florida for a few days when his dad is in this condition.

My grandfather (aka. "Grump") is 76 and a real hardass.  But a good hardass who hunts, sips his crystal beverages, works out, runs a chain of tobacco stores (which are sadly fading away due to government regulation and dropping perception of smoking by the general public), and has great genes (which thankfully I've inherited).  He doesn't talk much but admires that I've made it so far through school so even if I never talked to him much, it would really hurt to see him go.

Besides, even if you take Grump out of the situation, I still am uncertain about going to Daytona.  The race is Feb. 24th, my birthday is on Feb. 29th (well, 28th), and work begins on March 4th.  If I go to the Daytona race, I have to leave home early and am "stranded" alone in Orlando for about a week.  But if I don't go, I can spend more time (especially my birthday) with my family.  So what's it going to be really?  Looks like stay is my only choice.

Also, the main reason I really wanted to go to Daytona was to get a picture with another cheesy Sega/Daytona USA 3 sign.  Something like "Thanks Sega for putting the Hornet in Sega All-Stars Racing.  Now where's Daytona USA 3?"  But the first pics I took were cool but didn't make as big of a splash as I had hoped.  I could try to photobomb the Daytona 500 but I have a feeling the staff wouldn't take kindly to signs and/or people standing near the fence.  I feel I got lucky that the sign wasn't confiscated in the first place.

------------

And then there's Super Sprint.

I'm telling you, I always get this post-Christmas lethargy which usually lasts two/three months.  It happened to me last year (during FIEA, sheesus) and now it's this year.  Sleep cycle gets all messed up and I don't take on any really hard tasks.  My best guess is that once the Christmas season ends, my body goes into shock that the vacation is really over, the Christmas lights are taken away, and the weather heats up again.  So I still party in order to crash face-first into depression once life actually begins again.  Either way, post-Christmas always sucks for me, work or leisure.

The lethargy got in the way of Super Sprint.  I was working on the game a few days before Christmas but then I kind of stalled.  I was working on keyboard configs which I managed to get in with a options screen and the ability to save your configs when you close and reopen the game again.  I also began to implement leaderboards into the game which save your fast times & high scores.  I also bought a Logitech controller to program in joystick functionality (I know emulators can use them).  But none of those things are really finished and I have to finish the keyboard config and a few gameplay kinks and get the game out now before everyone thinks I gave up on it.  Just gimme a week or two then I can get a 1.0 version (under a new name besides Super Sprint...to avoid copyright woes).  Then I refocus on more advanced features and stuff.

Programming is like trying to glue a bunch of tangled wires together anyway so if I'm not in the zone, it's tough, you know?  Oh snap, that's right, I have a job in two weeks so if I don't get my s*** together, my ass is going to be out on the street.

EDIT: Sorry guys, should've thrown this in here sooner. I know nobody gives a shit about Super Sprint anymore especially with The 90's Arcade Racer on the horizon. But I have to "finish" it for myself since it's my cross to bear. Also, like I said many, MANY times before, this may be the last time I ever get to work on a racing game again. Sumo may not want to hire me, Firebrand clearly didn't want me, and with the sad sorry state of how racing games are these days AND how what games a programmer likes seems to be worth zero when it comes to the company's decision to hire you, I must proceed with Super Sprint even if it's a catastrophic failure and waste of time. Enough said.

------------

That's about it.  And the Racing Game Timeline needs to be updated too.  Really, guys, I apologize if the blog has been slow.  I've been doing work but at things that are completely different from racing games.  Yeah, that's REALLY about it for now.  Really, goodbye people and fuzzy animals.

SEGA NEEEEEEEWWWZZZZZZ

Now, about old-ass Sega news that I didn't bring up until now, rofl.

First of all, The 90's Arcade Racer has met its goal of £10,000 ($15,521)!!!  WE DID IT!!!  The Kickstarter raised a grand total of £16,309 ($25313).  By its release in Dec. 2013, it should have:

* A total of eight cars--2 stock cars, 2 F1 cars, 2 McLarens, and 2 "bonus cars".
* Three tracks each with two different layout variations, forward/reverse, and day/night features.
* A drift scoring system.
* Arcade and championship modes for each car type.
* Leaderboards.
* Available on PC, Linux, iOS, Android, and Wii U.
* Possibly more features to be announced in the future...

This list was "confirmed" by an e-mail update I got for donating the £90 ($140) to the project.

Now, when I made whatever limited communication with the guy, I brought up a few things.  I inquired about manual transmission.  I really hope he's able to get that in but with the 6-gear shifter, it might be particularly hard (Daytona USA and Scud Race both used 4-gears).  And then there's the car audio which I think he needs to kick up the bass volume if he can.  Also have the car lean more in the turns and emit more tire smoke.  Basically stuff from Need for the Sense of Speed post...how to get great sense of speed in your game.  And no, I didn't link him to this blog, that would just be stupid of me.

Also I might add that today I'm a lot poorer.  And a lot more depressed because woe is me, all I can do is sit here and watch everyone make Sega racing games besides me.

But I got interesting news...if you happen to be a real-life race car driver AND a playable character in Sega All-Stars Racing (I'm talking about Danica Patrick), then you're happy dancin today.  Cause you qualified on the pole (1st place) for the first time in the history of ANY NASCAR Cup Race (the Daytona 500).

Well, shit.  If Danica actually wins this race and/or many others, I'm going to be kicking my own ass all the way back to Florida knowing that if Danica had only gotten better JUST A BIT SOONER, she could've won the Texas Nationwide race in the Sega Sonic car.  I have nothing against Danica and I actually kind of like her (as a driver, idiots) but her suddenly becoming good post-Sega is just one big WHY???

EDIT: Well to go over more Danica stuff.  Yes, she still has a "Sonic" sticker on her GoDaddy car.  Yes, she just appeared in another Sega All-Stars Racing commercial.  Yes, I would be "happy" for her if she won (though I don't think she will...starting position means next to nothing in NASCAR besides to intimidate the competition).  But talking before about the difference between racing aficionados and gamers who simply like racing games, I don't think Danica (or any real life driver, really) would do a good job promoting Sega All-Stars Racing.  So if she won in the GoDaddy car, well...I don't think Sega has much to gain anyway.

Now for news actually pertaining to Sega.

The big story for all Sega fans...Microsoft admits not buying out Sega post-Dreamcast era due to "lack of muscle."  Okay, I'm not really surprised or offended by this.  Am I supposed to be mad that Microsoft didn't deem Sega worthy of being bought and basically left them to die in the post-Dreamcast era?  Basically, Microsoft got what they wanted out of their Sega partnership and that is the launching of their own console (the Xbox).  Plus they got ex-Sega of America CEO Scumbag Peter Moore (who now works for EA Sports).  Sega has some of the greatest IPs under their belt (Sonic, arcade racers, Genesis/Saturn/Dreamcast stars, etc.) but why Microsoft passed up on them, I don't know.  Because they're not gritty FPSes like Halo, yeah that makes sense.  Besides, judging from where MS is now, was that really a good thing?  Look at Rare, a smaller company bought out by MS but aside from Viva Pinata, they've just sucked recently.  Good riddance, Microsoft.

Speaking of company cannibalism, I remember a while back how Kotaku said that Sega planned to buy out Disney.  DISNEY.  Quick lookup on Wikipedia and right now, Disney's assets equal $75 billion.  I really don't know what Sega's are but after this whole 2012 restructuring, I bet it's less than 10% of that.  What was Kotaku smoking...

And then there's Aliens: Colonial Marines!  Gearbox, what...a...disgrace.  Frankly, I don't give a crap about the game at all--it looks like another linear sci-fi shooter, I'm not too keen on the Aliens franchise, and it doesn't have ANYTHING to do with traditional "Sega-go-lucky-blue-skies" theme (other than the Sega logo on the box).  The only reason I really care is because this is supposed to be one of Sega's big moneymakers for the year and now I hear the game is so bad that people are canceling preorders by the thousands!  Anytime Sega fails, I die a little on the inside.

Right now, there's rumors being spread about how Gearbox dropped the ball on Aliens and this is the best TLDR version I got.  If I'm wrong on some things, feel free to correct me since the situation is rather nonsensical:

* Sega and Gearbox agree to a new Aliens game starting in 2006.
* Gearbox works on Aliens (under the project name "Pecan") for four years.  Game looks "good" but Gearbox is working on other projects at the time such as Borderlands so there's a lot of feet-dragging going on (list of Gearbox games by year here).  Sega is obviously annoyed.
* Gearbox, now preoccupied by the GOTY Borderlands 2, outsources parts of the game to smaller studios, most notably TimeGate which'll handle the game's campaign mode.
* However, TimeGate falls way behind and even removes a bunch of features that Gearbox added previously.  The s*** hits the fan for Gearbox.
* Sega, pissed off that the game has taken over 5+ years, demands it be finished soon.  Gearbox then hastily spits out a final product held together by duct tape and Elmer's glue.
* Reviewers bash Aliens: Colonial Marines to no end.
* Gearbox developer goes on defensive explaining what we know here.  Sega employee teases a lawsuit against Gearbox because they "spent" all the money on Borderlands 1/2 development.

I don't hold Sega culpable for this mess.  Gearbox butchers Duke Nukem Forever, let it slide, now they butcher Aliens: Colonial Marines and that's strikes two & three, you're out.  But Sega IMO really has to cut out these movie IP games.  First it was Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, now Aliens.  None of these games were that good in the first place.  STOP IT SEGA, GO BACK TO DOING WHAT YOU DO BEST AND CHANNEL YOUR OLD CONSOLE-ERA SELVES.  SUPPORT UNIQUE VIDEO GAMES BESIDES THESE GRITTY FPSES THAT DON'T STAND A CHANCE TO THE TEN-TON PURPLE GORILLAS IN THE ROOM.  End of this nonsense.

Was going to talk a bit more about the new video game consoles but this post has gone on long enough.  More pettiness coming your way in about five days, sixteen hours, forty-five minutes, and two seconds (get a stopwatch, I might be off by a few days tho).

Daytona USA 2: SHOCKING SECRETS REVEALED

Hi guys, here's some Daytona 2 stuff.  Strange creepy conspiracy tabloid material.

Take a look at this video.  Skip to 3:30.  Now here's the Hornet on the Challenge/Mix course.  When he gets to the Beginner course, he stops and turns around...and drives through the barrier to the finish line.

Now is this a real glitch that can be reproduced every time?  Did the Sega QA just miss this altogether?  I hope not.  This trick may help you save a few seconds but is it crap, yeah it is.

------------

Now for something new.  Actually it's been known for a few months now but if you haven't been keeping tabs on the Supermodel emulator, the Hornet Classic has been discovered in Daytona 2: Battle on the Edge!!

Yes, it has a big hood scoop on it.  It's kind of cool but unnecessary.  The catch is you need to download a save state to pick the Hornet (somewhere on the Supermodel forums...too lazy to find it).  And sorry to break your heart but  the Hornet sucks in Battle on the Edge.  It has lower top speed and worse handling than in Power Edition.  Obviously, the devs must've left the car in the beta version and didn't bother to fine-tune it or anything.  Overall, it's really not worth getting excited about but still fun to know.  I'm huge into beta stuff, like the Citadel from Goldeneye N64, that was exhilarating.

Now I guess if I may, let me explain why this is from a programming perspective.  In the Battle on the Edge and Power Edition roms, there's four blocks of sequential memory for the four cars: the Chums Gum/JC Eagle, the Scorpio, the Phantom, and the Hornet.  On the car select screen, depending on which car you pick, it assigns a pointer to the memory address of the car you choose (i.e. you pick the Scorpio, it points to address #2 car in the array).  In Power Edition, you can pick from all four cars.  Yet in Battle on the Edge, you can only pick the first three.  The Hornet in BotE is simply inaccessible for the regular player.  Yet, using a hex editor and changing that pointer in the game's current state (point to address #4), you can circumvent the game's UI and load the Hornet up anyway.  I hope this makes sense.

------------

Ok, how about this.  Just a funny little thing.  Look at the Power Edition intro at about :39-:40.  The wrecked #00 SG8 Cartool car does a slight twitch maneuver as it lies at rest.  You tell me if it's just an emulator thing or if it's really there in the actual arcade cabinet version.  Heh.

------------

Now for something a bit more SHOCKING.  Anyway, look at your driver in Daytona USA 2.  The four cars are driven by four members of the Brown family.  Johnny, Noel, Mitch (or Mick), and Tom Brown.  I think it goes Johnny = Chums Gum/JC Eagle, Noel = Scorpio, Mitch/Mick = Phantom, Tom = Hornet.  These MAY be mixed (Johnny and Noel) but it's close enough.  When you think about it, all the drivers look exactly the same.  You can see the drivers in the intro cutscenes as well as when you win a multiplayer race (you see your driver celebrating/crying with the pit crew).

Drivers of different cars (I think the top one is the Chums Gum).

Now, who does this guy remind you of?  Let me give you a hint:

That's right, this whole entire time, you've been secretly playing as the Intimidator himself, Dale Earnhardt, Sr.  Here's Dale wearing the faceless helmet & shades just like the Brown family.  Also Daytona 2 came out in '98, the same time at the peak of Dale Sr.'s success (won Most Popular Driver 7 years).  Also again, you look at the color schemes of all 16 player cars (which was a shocking revelation on its own...like discovering the Higgs-Boson particle), player 3's car is BLACK like the #3 Chevy Goodwrench car.  Another reason why #3 fans should flock to this damn game but no, they're perfectly happy playing their Eutechnyx racing simulators.

I'd like to talk about Dale for a moment.  It's funny that this man would drive without the face part of the helmet.  He drove without the head rest.  One fan on the Internet even speculated he loosened the belts.  Why?  Less restrictions, man.  That must've helped in be a better driver.  Problem is it was more dangerous that way...and his hubris got the best of him on February 2001 when he died on the last lap wreck at the Daytona 500 after hitting a wall and getting hit in the head due to lack of the head rest.

From Maddox's store.  Fun t-shirts and bumper stickers in NASCAR country.

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So there's ONE MORE and it's the biggest shocker of them all.  A video posted on September 1, 2012.  A guy at E3 (I guess) asks a Sega booth person when Daytona USA 2 will come out for home consoles.

Narrow movies suck.  Anyway, it's something about spilled nachos and nothing of value was gained from this.  Truth is if you want a new Daytona/Scud Race, it's gonna go through Sumo Digital, guys who legitimately like racing games.  Sega of America isn't into developing games anymore and Sega of Japan is into...well I don't know...Yakuza and pachinko machines.  So this video is FAKE AND GAY, that's your post for today.