Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Thanks Nagoshi: Captain Jack Can Get Me High Tonight...

I'm sorry that as of late I've been posting in a completely reactionary fashion (i.e. news stories).

Seriously, after hearing this man talk (Nagoshi, not Billy Joel), all I wanna do is sit and home and masturbate, smoke pot, meet my girlfriend in the parking lot, find my dad in the swimming pool, and have my mother make my bed. I mean, what else is there???

So anyway, Toshihiro Nagoshi called together a "press conference" today. Yes, apparently he had such a big announcement that he said "Gather 'round me people, I have something to say," more or less.

What is it he said? A new Daytona game? Or maybe a new Super Monkey Ball game?

No. He announced a Yakuza 5. And some sequel to this game called Black Panther which, no surprise, also involves the Yakuza. AND he's also forming a new "Yakuza studio" dedicated to making--you guess it--more Yakuza games!!! (EDIT: What'll happen to Amusement Vision now???) Gee, how many Yakuza games can we take in such a short time?  For the record, the first Yakuza came out on September 2006.  And Yakuza: of the End isn't numbered but still counts.

And to make this stupider, Famitsu leaked this announcement a day ahead. Then again, not like I expected Nagoshi to come out and say "Hey guys, I'm making a new Daytona game!" First of all, that's not paramount enough to demand a press conference. Second, I doubt he was going to announce a new Daytona game, period.

I'm pretty sure there's some people out there who are celebrating.  And no, I don't think the Yakuza games suck--I'm pretty sure they're good.  Not to dimish that but to me, Nagoshi is DONE. Stick a fork in him and run him out of town. I have no faith in this man anymore. He'll make Yakuza and other cinematic games that rip off many aspects of pop gaming culture (see Binary Domain) until he's blue in the face. No word on any new racing games.

I swear, I really want someone to go to one of these meetings of his and politely ask him about his opinions of the Daytona/Scud Race franchise. Then report back to us about it.

Pssh, this news doesn't really surprise me. I'm just looking for any venues for me to slam Nagoshi. It's really disappointing that fans have already beat Sega themselves to the elusive Daytona 1/2/Scud Race ports. I mean, forget about a "Daytona 3," how about a port? No.

Damn, it's really late (1:30 am) and I have class at 10:30 am. Ugh, I hate work. I do have some "unique" posts coming up soon, but I can't post them now. Just bear with me...

Monday, August 29, 2011

There's A Warthog In My Forza


Hey guys, did you know PAX happened this weekend?  Yes?  No?  What did they do about games, yada yada yada...  The less said, the better.

Now folks, this is kind of funny.  Forza 4, which is coming out in October, will not have Porsches (boo, get used to RUFs, boys and ladies).  According to Jalopnik, it's Porsche's fault cause Porsche hates video games (although it would be easy to blame Electronic Arts since they're somehow at fault for anything Activision isn't involved with).  But at least RUFs are damn close to Porsches so it's not a total loss....

Ok, so maybe EA is to blame since they like to give the scroogie to everyone else (see the Origin spyware controvery--they're not angels in my eyes).  But why EA doesn't snatch up more big auto makers like Ferrari, Audi, Lamborghini, whatever is beyond me.  I guess cause there's only so much "hate" they can bring upon themselves before they give up...don't want to topple Activision now, do we?  Let them be the punching bag, not us, they say.


But don't fear people!  Forza 4 will have the Warthog from Halo.  I don't know whether or not to be excited or appalled by this (considering Micro$oft has been trying to infuse Halo into practically everything these days).

But oh, don't get your hopes up.  You can't drive the Warthog.  You can only observe it in Forza's Autovista mode, which incorporates the Kinect and allows you to observe it from the perspective of a car show attendee. EDIT: Apparently, in an attempt to divert our attention from the fact that you can't drive the Warthog, they get Jeremy Clarkson of Top Gear to talk about it. Gee, thanks Jeremy, that's great. I love just staring at cars in video games, right?

Is it just me but isn't this typical of the game industry nowadays?  Hey guys, I got a shiny new gadget!  You can walk around in a car show and look at the cars!  It's like you're actually there!  THE FUTURE IS NOW!!!  But does it contribute to gameplay?  In other words, can you drive it?  No.  You can only stare at it.  Kind of like a hot babe you want to go out on a date with but you can't come within 12 feet of her...

I heard from somewhere that the main reason you can't drive it is because it's too slow?  Really?  Did that stop Polyphony Digital from putting the Model T and the Daimler Motor Carriage (top speed: 12 mph) in GT4?

Or maybe it's because of the machine gun on top...but just take it off.  Driving the Warthog in Halo is crap ,really.  It doesn't pan out like a usual racing game.  It's like "driving for noobs"--right joystick aims the camera, hold up and the Warthog immediately steers wherever the camera is facing.  This is opposed to steering with the joystick in traditional racing games (you don't need to stare directly in the way you want to go).  It's also the same way the RC-XD handles in Black Ops and I'm annoyed by that too.

Don't matter...I don't need no stinkin Warthog in my Forza game anyway.  We want Sega cars FIRST AND FOREMOST...  Second would be monster trucks.  And funny cars, 18-wheelers, and school buses loaded with NOS (man, f*** the Veyron and Datsun).  I mean, really now--no Porsches, Warthog isn't driveable--this is what Turn10 needs to do to save this travesty to the series and avoid hitting rock bottom like GT5...
*flips over*

I know this vid's crap but it's the best actual Monster Jam commercial I could find.


AWESOME California Speed Soundtrack!!!!! (N64 Emulators)

For some reason, only up to now (in 2011) have I got a Nintendo 64 emulator to run at near 100% performance.  Strangely, this is the same mediocre laptop that can only run model3 emulation at 20% (not my school laptop, my other one).  I used Mupen64.  Project64 and 1964 just sucked for me.  Download Mupen64 here.  I hear this emulator is even capable of online play (I have to fiddle around with it to get it working).  Freakin love Goldeneye, they've even found ways to mod it...

This video below isn't mine, but this is as good as California Speed runs on my comp.  Slicker than grease...

I'm going to check out Legend of Zelda, Mario, etc.  Maybe, I'll see if I have the time.  There's even an adapter so that you can hook up your N64 controller to the PC!  And there's also replacement parts for your controllers such as new joysticks, etc.

But anyway, NOW for the soundtrack which I painstakingly extracted just for you and I...sadly, I just realized someone else uploaded the same soundtrack beforehand BUT I uploaded the longer versions (3+ minutes) so this is as good as the soundtrack gets!!!  I'M STOKED!!!

There's other songs in the game, but these are the only ones I had patience to do...gimme some time before I do the rest.

Anyway, don't get me wrong--this game is still crap, but still kind of fun to play.  I would gladly sacrifice this N64 emulation for Model3 emulation...hell yeah.

My previous yet very informative California Speed post.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

GABE OVER (Daytona USA Related)

This is some fad thing involving Gabe Newell (Valve boss) and Team Fortress 2.  It involves saying "Gaben" a lot.

Sound familiar?  It's just like the Daytona USA Game Over Screen.

When the Garry's Mod people get a hold of a meme, WATCH OUT.

Friday, August 26, 2011

My Hurricane Katrina Experience (Six Years Ago)

Hey, be sure to read the slight updates in the VF/Zombies/EA post!!!  That's all, rofl....Now for

Now for serious issues.  This recent 5.8 earthquake in Virginia (and all the East Coast) wasn't bad...heck, the kids at the Little League World Series were playing through it, having fun which is good.  However this Hurricane Irene moving up the East Coast could cause some serious trouble...much more than that earthquake.  Please try to stay safe whatever you do.

Soooo....I did have my own little hurricane experience.  I was in Pearl River, Louisiana when Hurricane Katrina made landfall on August 29, 2005 (it's nearly the 6-year anniversary, close enough).  And then for the next four months, all hell broke loose.  I was a 17-year-old Senior at the time, but I didn't go back to school for about two months.  Gee whiz.

During that time, I had a laptop, a LiveJournal account (yes that's true but it's deleted now), and the obscene habit of rambling about everyday things.  One problem--NO INTERNET FOR MONTHS.  So I wrote journal entries of my observations and saved them to be posted later.  I've concluded that not all of these were written the exact day I observed them, but they're pretty damn close to when it happened.

The thing is, I forgot to post them...until I found them recently in a Wordpad file buried in my My Documents folder.  Please note that I wrote about more than the trials & tribulations of the hurricane but also about video games & stuff.  You see I talked about Daytona USA, Counter-Strike maps (click here to see what I was talking about), Advance Wars, all that nonsense SIX YEARS AGO.  So I haven't changed much.  I added a few little heads-up in bold italics to help clarify stuff.  This whole thing may be garblish for some of you but what else can I say...these were very hasty posts so I wasn't going for a Pulitzer's Prize here, heh.  Click the jump if you want to read more...

Thursday, August 25, 2011

What I Learned About Game Design In Three Days (And How It Pertains To Sega Racers)

First of all, I figured out how to get my super school laptop to run away from my cubicle dock.  So now I can play my Supermodel emulator at home!

Unfortunately, it didn't turn out so good.  The fastest it went was 50% and that's in the sewer tunnel in Advanced course of Daytona 2.  I have yet to try Scud Race.  My parameters were "-fullscreen -res=1024,768 -ppc-frequency=50".  Changing the screen resolution has no apparent effect on performance.  BTW, my laptop's default resolution is 1900x1200.

So this sucks but maybe we'll be able to get this stuff running faster in the future...I mean, these computers are able to run stuff like Crysis on the highest settings but not a 13-year-old arcade game?  Gimme a break.  Pay tha' man (Bart) and he'll optimize that emulator in no time!

Oh yeah, I'm nearly done decorating my cubicle at college..I'll get back to you on that soon.


So anyway, I managed to make it through three days of FIEA in one piece.  That's great.  I didn't just attend programming classes, I also attended production classes.  The production director, Rick Hall...he had some fascinating lectures right out the gate and I figure I should share them with you.

1. What's the most important element of game design?  Creativity!  What exactly is it?  It's not necessarily coming up with completely random ideas.  It's about taking things you know and combining them.  You see, the human brain applies associative thinking--it likes to compare things to another.  Like if you look at clouds or ink blots, you think "Oh, that's a giraffe, a lion, a scary face, etc."  Likewise, if someone quotes a game or movie, you think "Hey, I heard that before..."

Because of these connections, it really helps if you use game elements that make sense.  You kind of want the human brain to think "Oh, now I get why these two themes go together, that's cool."  One way to come up with brute force creativity is by using a mind map--come up with things that are similar, draw them in a diagram, and connect the dots.  Use your diagram to come up with a core concept.  If you increase your knowledge and experience of the real world, then you can apply these facts & ideas into your mind map and thus broaden your options.  So go read books or something and learn more about the world.  Spending time on frivolous things doesn't seem like such a waste anymore, does it?

My example: Take NASCAR for instance.  You want to make an interesting NASCAR game.  So using your little mind map, you write "Rednecks" then "Lawn Mower" then "Lack of Class."  And you get a game--hey, how about NASCAR-style game with rednecks driving lawn mowers and, uh, toilets?  There's already a game like that--Jimmie Johnson's Anything With An Engine.  You think, "Ok, that makes sense."  Better than something like "Making a sandwich out of lint," yeah sure it's original but in terms of creativity, it just makes no sense and probably wouldn't be fun.

Try to think about OutRun.  Let's take "racing" -> "fast car" -> "Ferrari" -> "stylish", "excitement" -> "drifting" -> "fun" -> "going for a cruise", -> "multiple routes" -> "colorful, varied environments", "girls", "pleasant music" -> OUTRUN.  Makes sense, right?

2. Another thing that a game needs is a "silhouette."  In other words, create a simple motif that people can see and think "Oh yeah, that's ____."  Like if you were to look at a blackened shape of Mario, Sonic, Link, or Darth Vader, you'd know who that is within a second.  You want to go for a unique look that separates it from others in its class.  There can be other things that count as a silhouette.  Like quotes ("I'll be back") or animation style (South Park).

When people see that icon, they'll always remember it and that's one of the main goals of game design.  And congrats--you got an intellectual property at work here.  So take Nintendo games like Mario or Zelda--it's repetitive, sure, but people crave what they see so that's easier to market than newer/more obscure IPs, such as Ice Climbers or Kid Icarus.  No icon = sucks and no one will remember it.

So how does this relate to Sega racers?  Well, let's look at OutRun.  You got Ferraris, the music, the flagman, the token beach level, the girl in the passenger seat, the multiple routes.  And Daytona USA and Sega Rally with their infamous "Rolling Start!" and "Game Over Yeah!" quotes respectively.  Sega racers may not be well-known in the community, but if you bring up any of these catchphrases or concepts, odds are a few people will come to the rescue and say, "Man I remember that game--it was tight," or something like that.  So long live Sega racers!!!

3. When coming up with a game, you're marketing it to a large audience.  Execution is important--all the good ideas in the world won't work if there's broken/non-existent gameplay.  You want to go for the emotional feel, not the intellectual one.  If you haven't caught the audience's attention within the first five minutes, they're likely to just quit altogether.  Realism just plain sucks--Star Wars isn't realistic, Magnum P.I. isn't realistic, etc.

This is otherwise known as immersion--the ability to invoke intense experiences.  So connect the dots (as said above) and figure out how to keep the player guessing.  For example: "What happens when I turn that corner?"  "How am I going to take down this guy?"  "How will I fare if I fly through this intersection at 150 mph?"  You get the idea.

A good example of this, from my point of view, is Forza 3.  At the time, I had just finished playing Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing, which was quite a fun little racer.  Forza 3, on the other hand, started out so slow.  You're given this Toyota Yaris or whatever and told to putter around a go-kart track a few times.  It took me a while to get the hang of it, but I can see people opting out of this for, say, Burnout. *puke*

4. The best thing you can do with a game is keep it simple.  Think the game of chess--you can write the game's rules on one sheet of paper and it's lasted for nearly a millenia.  When in a game's pre-production, you want to come up with a "razor statement" which is basically a quick sentence that a person can repeat verbaitim on the first try.  For instance, with Starcraft you'd something like this--"You move individual units around to defeat enemies in a war sci-fi setting."  If your razor statement is too large, then shorten it--you're getting too ambitious.  Like if you try to combine an RTS like Starcraft with FPS and puzzles, then you're way over your head.

You also need to come up with a Visual Target.  For instance, if you were to make a game with cars, would you want it to be realistic?  Or do you want the cars to flip all around and look stupid?  These things matter.  If you were to go up to a development team and say, "Make me a FPS," they may make something completely unexpected since you weren't there to specify what you wanted (i.e. you expected Call of Duty but they made Rainbow Six).

There's many details on game development, such as "Come up with a demographic" and "Respect game IP's since people play, say, Star Wars games for lightsabers and lasers, not for miscellaneous crap."  One thing he did bring up was World of Warcraft.  The first month of gameplay is free.  However, to get you to go on for multiple month subscriptions, they pad the game with filler gameplay (grinding, walking around to get elsewhere).  EDIT: Think about're in a video game therefore you should be able to teleport wherever you want, but you can't...they're making you play longer than usual.  Scheming...and now you know why I dislike WoW (or any other MMORPGs) for that matter.

Oh, and obviously, you want to research the competition.  What does your game do different from others in the genre?  If you can't get any separation, then your game will not succeed.  EDIT: When marketing the game, try to come up with five bullet points that your game does differently than everyone else (be more specific than, "this is fun" or "it's cool").

So...about Daytona USA 2--what does it do different?  Well, for one, it has a sublime driving engine that very few have emulated.  The way the car melts the tires and bobs back and forth isn't necessarily realistic (compare Daytona 2 to real-life stock cars) but it feels awesome, catering to the emotional element there.  It's challenging and offers much room for improvement, offering much gameplay and less fluff.  It's got wacky environments yet they make a bit of sense.  It catches your attention from the get-go (intense attract screen, rockin music, loud engine, etc.). 

See what I'm getting at here?  Sure, Daytona USA and Scud Race aren't original IPs by all means, but they're something different than what we have today.  If Sega would have the guts to make the game, they could really touch a nerve in the racing genre.  I believe this!!!


That's all I have to say.  The rest of the details are technical stuff that I feel would muddy the waters even further.  Sorry about the lump of text with no pics but it's still good reading anyway.  Oh, and if I hear anyone say this, I'll whoop your ass:


Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Sega Loves You, Space Zombies, & User Agreements (Which Suck)

This is another Three-In-One blog post.  I don't really like doing this anymore, but who cares... I wanna convey my message to the people in one lump of a post so deal with it.  EDIT: I added more talking points about Mike Hayes!!!


Virtua Fighter 5 coming to XBL and PS3!!!  Now this is good news.  I don't have a lot to say about this.  I'm thankful that Sega is willing to do this.  Now where's my Daytona game?  Ooooooo yeah, forgot about the Sonic CD port as well.  So Virtua Fighter 5 and Sonic CD are coming soon...Good things are happening all the time.  Now where's my Daytona game?

Oh, and how about this?  Sega West president Mike Hayes recently talked on the phone (a very professional means of interview) about what Sega has in store in the future.  “We constantly review the IP we’ve got in the locker because that’s one of Sega’s big advantages,” Hayes said.  Yeah, IPs are great, huh, Mike?  The kind that you sit on for decades, leaving the Sega fans to sit in a figurative coma for over a decade.  Then we get a half-ass port of, say, Jet Set Radio or Shenmue and congrats, LIFE IS GREAT AGAIN!!!  THANKS, MIKE!!!

And they say they go through everything and decide which IP's to use and how big they should's nice to think that Mike is actually looking at new Shenmue or Daytona games, but after that little 18-24 Dreamcast ports remark, I really don't take anything he says for face value anymore.  Wait, has Sega released any more DC ports after Space Channel 5/Bass Fishing?  No, so we're still stalled at 4 (or about 10 if you count all the non-Sega DC ported games) so that just makes Mike look like a bigger dumbass.

This is Mike Hayes of SEGA.

But there's always hope for redemption, Mike!  Just pick up that little telephone, tell Nagoshi to make Daytona USA 3 and Yu Suzuki to make Shenmue 3.  There you go, buddeh...

Another thing--the fact that Sega announces these new games on a whim and not at any big gaming convention is tell-tale of their policy.  Don't expect them to sneak up on us with Shenmue 3, new Daytona, or any of that jazz so keep on the lookout and wait for those trademarks to appear.  Sega's not that sharp to "hide" anything, it seems.


Did you hear?  There's one new Black Ops zombie map called Moon.  Now this ain't no space truckin'--you're stuck in the not-so-blue skies of the moon and I'm not even talking about Space Colony Ark.  This level is really trippy.  Really--it's unconventional in every sense of the word..

Where do I begin.  The beginning of the level takes place in "Area 51" (a cut-out of the Hangar 18 MP map) then you are forced to run to a teleporter which takes you to the moon.  You take your protein pills and put your helmet on....then the real fun begins.

When I was playing Solo, no sounds could be heard on the Moon.  No talking, no zombie moaning, no footsteps, just some faint breathing and muffled gunshots.  Yeah, imagine playing a game in total silence--it's psychedelic and creepy at the same time.   EDIT: No, the map isn't normally this silent.  My sound "glitched" up the first time so there was no voice/music.  But to augment the creepiness, a floating astronaut slowly pursues you (think George from Call of the Dead) who tries to steal your perks.  Oh, and there's low gravity too.  Just floating in a mindless void being attacked by these monstrosities--it's the stuff of Creepypasta... EDIT: (OMG, my game is haunted!!!  Some dead kid named Ben or Jimmy is trying to communicate to me through the game!!!  Despite how scary & unusual it was, I just couldn't turn off the game!!!  And then they consumed my soul or something.)

FYI, there's a way to teleport back to "Area 51" (where the Pack-a-Punch is) and you can hear again.  But since zombies swarm so quickly, you have to teleport back to the Moon just as soon as you arrived.

Oh, and you thought that was damn weird?  Well, remember the convoluted Easter eggs/plot progressions from previous maps such as Ascension?  Well, Moon has one.  And no surprise--the puzzle was solved within 48 hours of the map's release.  Being the last zombie map of the Black Ops series, it goes out with a bang.  Follow the Easter egg steps here if you want...

SPOILER: Remember Samantha the little girl with the zombie voice?  Complete some of the Easter egg steps and you see her in this map levitating in this strange black pyramid.  Complete the rest of the steps and Richtofen (the German playable character) swaps bodies with Samantha (omg guy in girl's body), giving him control over the zombies in order to complete his dreams of...uh, world domination (well that's what this Group 935 that Richtofen AKA Edward has been trying to do since Der Riese).  Oh, and he also launches three nukes at the Earth, sending it into a zombie-infested, radioactive wasteland.  This is the conclusion we've been waiting for.  Oh, every player gets all eight perks and a gamer picture.  GAME OVER, YEAH!!

Super cool story, bro.  No really, while I normally loathe game storylines, I really want to see what else Treyarch has in store here.  Wait for Black Ops 2 tho....


And for some other news news that really stinks.  You know Electronic Arts?  The scourge we forgot about purely because of Activision's antics?  Well, if you download their new game distribution software, Origin, you're giving EA the right to monitor your hard drive (including what websites you view) including the right to sell that information.  Please bear in mind there's NO way to circumvent this if you want to play games like Battlefield 3--you must download this service.

You know what, Electronic Arts?  You're despicable.  I didn't have intentions of buying Battlefield before this, but I must certainly do not now.  BOYCOTT THEM!!!  This includes Burnout and Need for Speed which are both published by it's a one-two knockout punch.  Suck my white ass, EA.  EDIT: Damn, just screwed my employment, who wants to be a lapdog for them anyway.

Now, doesn't anything think all User Agreements are a crock of s***?  Yeah, sure, laws apply to software, but who reads these 20+ page documents anyway?  You usually assume the obvious--don't copy, distribute, or profit from software, yada yada yada (come on, you don't read it either so don't blame me)...  But then they can sneak whatever they want in there, like what EA did here.  And if you DO read the whole agreement, so what?  Odds are you zoned out due to boredom and forgot what you just read a day later.  Not like the hundreds of pages of terms you've read in your lifetime are going into your long-term memory.  Come on, how much paperwork and red tape do human beings have to go through anyway?

"Read every one of these pages from front to back and regurgitate it all from memory by tomorrow..."

"F***!!!!  I HATE THIS CRAP!!!" >:(

Man, screw paperwork.  All I want to do is play my video games without infecting my computer with spyware or getting thrown in prison.  DEAL WITH IT.


EDIT: Added the Ron Hornaday wreck: Nov. 4th

I wanna talk about NASCAR again.  Hey, I think it's cool so shove it.  This one's for you, Kyle.  New story--Famous NASCAR drive Kyle Busch gets his license revoked for 45 days (including $1000 fine and 30 hours of teen-driving community service).  He drove 128 mph in a 45 zone--83 mph over the speed limit. In his yellow sports car driving by a day-care center and a church.  As you can tell, such an activity is frowned upon in our society.  That is, unless you're playing Burnout or Need for Speed, then it's "awesome" (take out the day-care center for MASSIVE points!!).

But Kyle is still allowed to race.  Oh, the irony...he can drive on race courses but NOT public roads.  For us commoners, it's the other way around.

Just for fun, here's some cool clips of him being an asshat.  He's in the #18 (usually M&M's) car, BTW.

Takes out Kevin Harvick (and Clint Bowyer) then gets in a confrontation at the end of the race (1:30)!  And also wrecks Kevin's car a second time post-race!

Hey man, did you just swear?  WARNING: Language

He gets penalized for exceeding the pit lane speed limit.  Then he flips off the official (1:30) and gets penalized a second time.

Kyle Busch taps one of Richard Childress' trucks during practice. So Richard, despite being a senior citizen, sees through Kyle's crap and picks a fistfight with him.  Supposedly, Richard won the fight.  Unfortunately, we have no footage of the fight--just dumb ESPN news stories.

Classy Carl Edwards wins the race so Kyle (who finished second) gives him a little nudge afterwards.  Carl returns the favor and knocks Kyle the f*** out...

NO ONE ever calls themselves a crybaby...unless you're Kyle Busch, that is (loses classy points for acting like a noob).

No one loves Kyle Busch!

Hey, you just won a guitar!  Let's smash it to bits!!!  (I do this to Guitar Hero controllers)

Appearing on the WWE earns you classless points no matter what.  Not gonna lie though, sometimes the WWE cracks me up.

Kyle Busch in pink.

But despite this, at 26 years old, he's actually a damn good driver.  He's actually first place in the Sprint Cup standings as of right now.  Got a little Cole Trickle & Ricky Bobby in him...

Stay classy, Kyle Busch (or "Kyle B****", the word that rhymes with "ditch" HAHA made that one up just now, so clever...).

EDIT: So this post was over two months old.  We thought that we'd get the "new" Kyle Busch--the one who wouldn't do stupid crap like this anymore.  Wrong!  So I'm watching Speed Channel on Friday (cause ESPN was boring me) and they have the Camping Truck series on.  I saw this live, what a coinky-dink.

Kyle is racing and some guy named Ron Hornaday bumps into him, causing the two to rub the outside wall and draw a caution.  Okay, both cars are still intact, but that doesn't stop Kyle from deliberately rear-ending Ron into the wall and taking them both out of the race.  Bear in mind that Kyle acted WAY AFTER the yellow flag was out so there was no way this could be viewed as an accident.  Sad story is that Ron's wreck eliminated him from championship contention (he was in 4th place when the race began).  Not only that, but Ron could've been injured.  He sat in the wrecked truck for some time although he got out and was okay.  Isn't that borderline vehicular assault?

So Kyle, why do you suck so much?  Okay, so Kyle wrote an apology letter (after NASCAR refused to let him race that very weekend) but still, what a schmuck.

EDIT: Not long after the Ron Hornaday wreck, M&M's announced they are dropping their sponsorship of Kyle's #18 car.  You know what that means, Kyle??

Monday, August 22, 2011

3D Entertainment MY ASS (Real Men Of Genius)

Here on this blog, we criticize anything new or cutting-edge, like motion controls or 3D games. Well it turns out Bud Light sees things from our point of view:

First commercial that made me ROFL in a long time.

Some more just for fun:


Today we salute you, Mr. Befuddled Sega Blogger Guy!

Mr. Really Really Befuddled Sega Blogger Guy!

You've sided with one of the lamest game designers out there. You've become numb to all the ridicule. You try to act cool but you're hurting on the inside.

Sega, where are my sequels?

You've longed for Sega's glory days in which they were a top console and arcade contender. But now, all you have to look forward to is poorly-delivered fan service and movie adaptations.

Why does this Sonic game suck???

Surrounded by the likeness of Nintendo, Activision, and Microsoft, you take refuge in those blue skies.

Sega does what Nintendon't!

So crack open your Dreamcast, Mr. Sega Guy, and settle in with that VMU controller.  Because you show more dedication to the game than all other fanbases can fathom.

Mr. Really Really Befuddled Sega Blogger Guy!

Lol, if this sucks, you write your own Real Men of Genius.

EDIT: I didn't write this to mock my good friends like Blue Skies, SegaShiro, UK Resistance, etc. Mostly mocking myself, lol.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Sega Race TV Review

Well, during my awesome trip to the super Orlando McDonald's, I stumbled upon a Sega Race TV cabinet.  I have never played this game before until now.  It came out in 2008 making it one of the most recent Sega racers, along with R-Tuned.

This would  be the only game I played at McDonald's.  I told my dad, "quick, gimme some money."  This game cost $1 to play.  I would only play the game once.

This is the game trailer.

This is how it works.  You pick one of eight licensed cars, one of eight drivers (which dictate your car color) auto/manual, and one of five tracks.  Pick one track and come in 3rd or better to move onto a second race (randomly selected course).  Then come in 2nd or better in that race to move onto a final race (another random course).  So each race is approximately 2-3 minutes therefore if you win every race, you play for about 8/9 minutes.  And yes, I came in 1st every race, I'm awesome like that.

Here's gameplay footage (not me, I didn't take any pics while playing).

The gameplay here is just weird.  It feels kind of like Fast and the Furious but with some Mario Kart aspects thrown in.  There are chevron speed boosts , ramps, and red strips to drive on to increase your boost meter (think F-Zero).  I picked the blue Corvette Stingray which was a very fast, drift-happy car (I was unaware of its crap handling at the time).  Therefore, you had to be very gentle with the wheel cause the car would just sling itself all around the track when you turn the wheel more than 10-degrees from center.

I also mention that the game's five tracks (which feel a bit artificial to me) are very wide & straightforward so you never really need to drift.  I do swerve around the course trying to find boosts (the game will point out any AI cars or boosts with arrows).  Maybe drifting gives you nitrous boosts (press the red button next to the Up-Down shifter) but I was trying not to do anything stupid.  Your boost meter goes up automatically all the time regardless.  Seriously, I must have used at least twenty boosts per race (you get one boost every 5 seconds on the last lap, just like the Golden Mushroom from Mario Kart) which was enough to slingshot me past the AI despite my occasional mistakes.

Some more things.  The sense of speed when you're not boosting is rather weak (about 130 mph).  Like you didn't feel the "rumble" of the car as in Daytona or OutRun.  Even with the boosts the car never tops 160 mph which is nowhere near OutRun/Daytona speeds.  Heck, ramming into other cars while using the boost causes them to go airborne.  The cars demonstrate some modest damage models but mostly stuff you'd see in a Forza/Need for Speed game.  The announcer's cheesy commentary is only surpassed by the Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing announcer.  Also, that fat guy with the USA colors was a bit creepy and out of place for me.  Like leave it up to the Japanese to portray "Amerikuh" as a fat spandex-wearing biker with a loud mouth who's also a terrible dancer.

Fat boy ruined the game for me.  Thankfully, this footage was edited through a coffee can so you don't have to see him in his full glory...

When you win all three races, your car gets a new paint job and presumably some performance upgrades too.  Just come back and enter the password you see above.  Just like in Fast & Furious!

My opinion...for a Yu Suzuki game, this one felt quite underwhelming.  You can really tell they were going for that FnF/Mario Kart hybrid and the super simple driving mechanics didn't stick with me.  Just makes me wish I was playing Daytona/OutRun.  Graphics are still pretty good and if I were to play it a few more times, I'd probably gain a greater appreciation of the gameplay mechanics.  EDIT: It's also nice to see a unique IP out of Sega too.  EDIT AGAIN: Overall, the game quality isn't terrible--it's pretty slick, but I feel that the design choices were somewhat questionable.  Not like I'm going to see this game again for a long time.  Just play the game for yourself and see what it's like.  Opinions are welcome, feel free to disagree...

Score: 6.5 out of 10 (would be higher if not for the biker guy)

Going Around Orlando, Checking Out Arcades

Sup guys.  Reporting from Orlando, FL, these are the adventures of my life.  I was hanging out with my dad for a few days.  I'll tone down on the pics here.

Night drivin in Louisiana!

This is the George Wallace Tunnel in Mobile, Alabama.  It's a tunnel, what did you expect.

As we're nearing Orlando, the roads became more picturesque.  A saturated mix of gray, white, and green.

I wish I was on the race course.

Watch out, there's a ton of toll booths in Orlando.  DO NOT go on the highway if you want to pay the tolls (about $1 a toll).

Downtown Orlando.

This is the FIEA building.

Okay, enough of the pics.  We're staying in our little apartment.  We decide to go out and have some fun on Saturday.

I knew there was a Dave & Buster's somewhere in Orlando.  In case you don't know what D&B is, it's an arcade/restaurant/party location.  I've never been to a D&B so I was determined to check it out.  We got the address from Google, punched in the address, and off we go.

You have to realize there's two parts of Orlando.  We've been staying in Downtown Orlando which is basically like your everyday town--offices, apartments, stores, etc.  Driving about 7+ miles from Downtown, we end up on International Drive.  This is the other part of Orlando--the amusement parks, tourist traps, exotic restaurants, and heavy traffic.  Turns out that Dave & Buster's was in this myriad of stuff...

This is at about 8:30 PM.  The building is HUGE but there were hour-long lines of people waiting outside this late into the night.  So in the end, we had to leave.

I'll never know if there was a Daytona USA 2, Scud Race, etc. in there.  Well, maybe in the future.  Now's not the time to run out to a Dave & Buster's, especially since I have work to do at school.

But there's a saving grace--there is the World's Largest McDonald's Entertainment Center.  I saw this on Food Network's Top 10 Most Interesting McDonald's.  It's down the street from D&B's.  Unlike D&B's, there's no lines to wait in--just come right on in!

This place is huge.  The walls are painted with all these murals.  There's also two stories as well--restaurant on bottom, arcade/playplace on top.

Waiting in the big lines.  This place also has a bistro, wtf.   And it has a drive-thru as if you didn't want to enter this wonderful idiots.  But me and my dad ate $1 hot fudge sundaes and that's it.

We're on the second floor and here's most the games.  This is essentially a more elaborate Chuck E. Cheese's.

Tons of redemption games!

What games did this place have?  Heh...four Fast & Furious games, four Fast & Furious Bikes games.  So that makes EIGHT FnF games in one location.  FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.....

Also worth mentioning is that the place had two Nascar Arcade cabinets...I didn't take a picture though.

The place actually had indoor bowling?  Crap bowling, nonetheless...

A cutout of Bill Cosby?  That's ballin...

But that's not all.  I saw something at that McDonald's which significantly changed my life (more than Bill
Cosby).  What you ask?  This post is TO BE CONTINUED...

Friday, August 19, 2011

Going To School, This Is My Own Pep Talk

I know some don't want to read my life story so I'll probably tone it down in the future.

Well, I have landed in sunny Orlando, Florida.  Me and my dad drove all the way there Wednesday, spent the rest of the day buying crap for my apartment.  The apartment's a bit funky, but it's clean and a step up from my old dorm room.  Driving's not fun if you go straight for hours or are stuck in traffic.  Anyway, this place is certainly awkward, but I'll get the hang of it.  They have a Five Guys burger joint, check it out, it's awesome...

Went to FIEA on Thursday for Orientation (classes begin on Monday), didn't talk to many people (although I kept my head held high, need to look professional).  Accidentally spilled a little orange juice on myself (not in anyway that it looks like I urinated).  Oh, you know that state-of-the-art laptop I got?  I can't use it anywhere unless it's installed in a dock at the FIEA cubicles.

Well, that really stinks.  I don't need it anyway except for Model3 emulation...

So the programming track will be difficult.  Funny fact is that the Programmers make up the smallest demographic (among Producers and Artists) and that a few every semester drop out or transfer to other programs.  I'm not sure if the teacher tried to scare us because I've had this happen all the way since high school.  He said, "Don't get a part-time job, you don't have time."  Things may get really dicey quickly but I'm smart.  I have some confidence.  But if you drop below a 3.0 GPA, you are removed from the school...that is the really scary part.  Considering the vagueness of the grading scale, the instructors may err in my favor if I work hard (I hope).  But considering I've always set my goals on 4.0 GPA, I'm at least prepped for that.

It's weird because I've said many times, "Oh this is gonna be hard, prepare to work a lot," and then I get there and I'm surprised that they repeat the same thing, rofl.  Anyway, I don't have much to do at home so I'm going to spend every day at that FIEA building working or hanging out.  That's my lifeline.  I don't have much else to do.

Now, I may fall into depression or that nonsense.  Not really talkative IRL and don't have many friends.  Sit there in my apartment like a scared Tom Hanks from Big (the movie).  Sorry, I am very quiet in real life and think I have Asperger's...  But you know what I ought to do?  This is so important I have to bold this section:

Go to that desk/cubicle.  Tape pictures of Daytona USA 2 right there on the wall.  Also pictures of Sega, AM2, Yu Suzuki, Makoto Osaki, and drunk Toshihiro Nagoshi.  Stare at those G-Damn pictures every single moment of every single day.  Occasionally wear my Sonic the Hedgehog hat to work as well.  Use it as fuel to work even harder than before.  Get DETERMINED/PISSED that we Sega fans have had to put up with so much crap.  Do your part and be a man.  I CANNOT sit on my ass anymore as time keeps on slipping into the future and another year passes without another Sega racer as the world goes to hell.  Dammit, do it for the peace of mind you will reap at the end knowing that whatever happens, when I go to meet with the Lord, I can at least say, "I tried."

Yes, that's right Nagoshi-san.  If you're not making another Daytona game, then I WILL.

Plus not to mention if I get through school, get rich, and make good video games, think of the opportunities I'll have...doing fun things like I've never done before.  Also like Tom Hanks in Big, I can make my own toys and play the big piano in FAO Schwarz!!!  Hopefully driving real race cars too--that would be boss.


For the record, if anyone from FIEA is reading this, please don't think I'm crazy. I just have my eyes on the prize, what about you?

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Movin Out To Florida

In five hours, I'm getting in the car and heading to Florida for several months.  Before tonight, I took a trip to the mall to hang out, play Crazy Taxi, eat a pretzel, and just sit there.  What, am I getting into this sentimentality crap again?  Wasn't it a month ago that I moped about leaving my old house?  Well, I'm more annoyed about this 10-hour trip and all the stuff I couldn't find...moreso than I am sad about leaving.  When I get there in one piece, I'll feel much better.

Look, this whole game industry dream isn't just for's for all of us.  The guy who didn't get his new Daytona, Shenmue, whatever.  The guy who asked, "What's wrong with the game industry?"  Cause if there's one thing I can at least do, then it's at least give the people a reason to smile...

Anyway, be safe cause the news hasn't been good lately.  You must know three things: where you've been, where you're going, and why you're here.  Most people don't know any of these and that leads to confusion.  That's all I have to say so think about it.

Goodbye home!  Onto actually making those games.  Sadly, I do not know how much I'll be able to post following this.  I may be completely swamped with work...who knows.  Just try to have fun I guess.  Look to the finish line...making great video games.

This is my song:

Oh yeah, today, I was playing Dr. Mario in my Firefox browser...I got to Level 17 on Medium speed (starting from Level 1).  OMG try to beat my high score!!!!!  Click here to play for freeEDIT: That site's down, just play an emulator--may I suggest FCEUltra?

I'm also gonna add something cool to my blog soon, check it out...

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Daytona 2 Forest Dome Major Pics

Here's some pictures that I took a long time ago.  I should've posted these sooner but better now than never, huh.  Take a look at previous pictures: Daytona USA 2 picsScud Race pics part 1Scud Race pics part 2.

Anyway, there's a Daytona USA 2: Battle on the Edge rom out there.  It's 86.7 MB, you go look for it, I'm not posting links.

Like I said before, I'm playing this at 20% of actual game speed so the whole thing was in slo-mo for me (made taking pics easy though).  I also should mention that because this is beta emulator footage we're talking about here, the edges are going to look very sharp/brittle.  If I took these pics in a resolution higher than 640x480, then it wouldn't be a problem...maybe I'll post higher res pics later.  And that the pics are not in chronological order because Photobucket had to scramble them all around.  But here it is, the Phantom in all its glory:

Copyrights?  What are those?

This isn't from Battle on the Edge but it looks cool anyway.


Rolling Start!!

And we're under way!

Wow, just check out this place and all the's fascinating.

Nice, a spinning red sign  to the right and some 18-wheelers to the left.

Take a look at the sky, above the timer.  You'll notice something...

See, look at the red circle!  You'll see that there are birds flying around at this part of the track.  I had NO IDEA about this until now!  Oh the things that we learn about the game...13 years later.

Another shot of the waterfall for good measure.

It says "Palm Rock Valley."  There's some flowers, lookin' good I see.

This place is vibrant but a bit dark, like we're driving through a cave...

But then the light shines through and reflects off the camera!

And now we begin to slide.

Close to the wall!

Near the finish line!


I'm snapping cool shots of the credits screen.

Here I am just cruis'n as usual....

Poor guy thinks he can overtake me!

Inside the car.

Okay, this is just weird.  This is what happens when you let Ray Charles drive.

The car crashes and flips over during the credits sequence, what's up with that???  It's probably a glitch because if it's deliberate, than it's a sick joke.

You don't see the car recover from the wreck, it just keeps driving like normal...

Watch for flying cars!

Massive wreck!

He gets shoved off the front of a sign that with a skeleton says "Accident?  Call (some number)."

Crazy drift!

"I'm the greatest."

Driving off into the horizon...

And we have this stupid man to thank for this great game.

Conglaturation, high score!!!

People, I tell you what.  After going through these pics again, I'm just really upset.  It's a shame that after 13 years, Sega has only given this game a slight nod (the OR2 bonus course).  It's pathetic and it really hurts to think about it.

But this makes it that much sweeter when we finally get that new Daytona game.  Better than that stupid new Call of Duty, Halo, Final Fantasy, Zelda...BOOK IT!