Inquiring About The Public's Opinion Of SEGA...

As I sit here mulling over the bowl of cereal I don't have because my family forgot to buy some, I got to thinking about our dear friend SEGA once again.  You see, brand recognition and popularity is what helps keep companies in business.  So this leads me to ask this vital question...

Do you think Sega is "cool" anymore?

Where does Sega go on the Cool Wall?

Top Gear, telling you how it is since 2002.

Now.  Some of you will say, "Well of course Sega is cool!  They made some kickass games!  Who cares what people think of Sega?"  You're sorta right.  Us Sega hipsters got this little circlejerk going on and screw what anyone else thinks!  But it is IMPORTANT what other people think of Sega.  Sega cannot survive alone cause of a couple of fanboys on the Internet, they need a portion of the Average Joe gamer demographic to run out and invest in their stuff too.

See, that's what I mean about being "cool."  The term "cool" as in "genuinely interested in their products."  Being cool is important--it's how crap pop music, TV, movies, and video games manage to be relevant despite lacking any original content or substance at all.  Being "cool" is neither a good or bad thing--it's like handing off the baton or being "King of the Hill."  You gotta reach out and grab it somehow.  Sega was cool back in the 90's!  Sonic the Hedgehog!  Game consoles!  Arcades!  Kickass!  People loved that stuff.  But nowadays, everyone has written off Sega as a decayed corpse as they flock around the Western developers--FPS, RTS, adventure, MMO's with "realistic/grungy/shockingly depressing" hi-res graphics.  In other words, the complete antithesis of Sega! :(

This whole "cool" topic came about reading this compelling article about Nintendo and violent games' places in the marketplace.  Basically how the concept of "family entertainment" that Nintendo has relied on for so long has eroded over the last decade.  Think about it....what are the most popular games these days?  Call of Duty, Grand Theft Auto, Halo, Gears of War.  Games with copious profanity, violence, and (some) sexual content.  They sell Halo and GoW toys in kids/family stores though MS/Epic shrug at the thought of directly advertising violence to kids.  Case in point, these games have claimed the "cool" mantle.  Realistic, gritty games are in vogue, clean happy games are out.

How did this happen?  You can name many reasons.  Kids look up to teens/young adults for what is cool--adults play violent games, so do kids.  The concept of a "family" has diminished--we spend less time face-to-face and have high numbers of single parent households therefore.  We've conditioned ourselves to violence and the "Jackass generation" that we hardly flinch at the idea at our of kids disrespecting each other.  I'm not a sociologist so I won't pursue the issue longer but look at this point mentioned in the article--55-60% of parents do not check nor do they even care about ESRB/PEGI ratings.  This is ridiculous.

But don't get me wrong...I'm not blaming violent games for society's problems, nor am I saying you can't enjoy these games yourself.  But these kind of games are adverse to Sega's M.O., plus don't you get tired of people realistically shooting, stabbing, blowing each other up?  Why is it that whenever anyone unveils a non-violent, colorful game, it's a cringe-inducing kids title, a shameful freemium game, or both?  Also would you let this kid play Call of Duty?  There's thousands of kids like this every day.  Boy, violence is good for them!

EDIT: This YouTube video makes another good point about game popularity--YouTube Let's Plays.  Nintendo has been vigilant in the past about taking down any YouTube gameplay videos.  Other companies, notsomuch.  I'm not a Let's Play watcher but I can see what they're getting at here--YouTube clips are basically free advertising and Nintendo better accept that soon.

And what does Nintendo, Sega's last ally in the war against gray skies, do about it?  SUCK AT EVERYTHING!  The Wii was a success cause they advertised it to that core young-adult demographic and did a great job with the motion control stuff.  Now the Wii U gives us some awkward gaming pad and is advertising itself to...little kids?  I swear, I saw a Toys R Us commercial last Christmas with little kids harping on a Wii U sales deal.  Is THIS the game console that the mainstream demographic (18-35 year olds) going to buy?  Especially with its outdated graphics and same old games from last generation?  I'm not a graphics junkie but at least Sega's new releases were top-notch technology (i.e. Scud Race/Daytona 2 being years ahead of the N64/Playstation).  Seriously, the 3DS is the only thing keeping Nintendo alive.  I still don't know how Pokemon remains relevant as ever these days, especially since all I hear from Pokemon nostalgists is bitching about how perfect Pokemon Red/Blue/Yellow was (news flash--there were "bad" Pokemon in that game too) but shit, if it makes Nintendo money, then great.

Nintendo is a company I want...no, NEED to succeed in order to establish "balance" against Sony and Microsoft.  Now they are throwing their arms up and open for acquisitions or mergers?  RED FLAG!!  The fact Sega has hooked its anchor to Nintendo's sinking ship (in the form of Sonic games exclusive for the Wii U) is suicidal.

You want a kids console?  Buy a V-Tech.

Now, time for a pop quiz!  Get out a sheet of paper and writing utensil.  Write down up to five things that you think Sega has done that was "cool" at any time in its history.  You have thirty seconds, now....GO!

...

Time's up!  Compare your list to mine.  If you're like me, you've probably written down a list of things like this:

1. Sonic the Hedgehog!
2. Expertise in home consoles!
3. Expertise in arcades!
4. A backlog of vibrant blue-sky games that made fun the primary focus!
5. A brash, edgy marketing campaign!

Now, let's run through this list and compare them to the Sega of today.  Home consoles?  Sorry, Sega put the kaibosh on that in 2001 so let's cross that out.  Arcades?  Those are dead in the West and the only stuff we see are mediocre and never live up to the 90's so cross that out too.  Blue-sky games?  HA, please spare me, Sega does the bare minimum to keep their legacy from eating dust by releasing sparse, straight ports of their games to cash in on nostalgia from the fanboys so let's cross that one out.  Brash?  Edgy?  Name for me ONE bold thing that Sega has said or done.  No "Sega does what Nintendon't" or Sega screams.  Almost all of Sega's official advertising is done through their online blog site as they cut and run like a scared puppy.  So cross that one out as well.  So what does our list look like now?

1. Sonic the Hedgehog!
2. Expertise in home consoles!
3. Expertise in arcades!
4. A backlog of vibrant blue-sky games that made fun the primary focus!
5. A brash, edgy marketing campaign!

Yes, it's true, love it or hate it, Sonic IS Sega.  Sonic is the only thing that Sega has going for it...the only thing Sega hasn't given up on in the last 22 years, even dragging the franchise through the horse shit that was the post-SA2 era.  Seriously, just listen to the first forty seconds of this Giant Bomb video and you'll see what I mean.  "Sonic" = "Sega"  I'll probably talk about this in a Part 2 next time cause I'm tired and have gone on for too long, good night all.

CLICK HERE TO VIEW PART TWO.

Ryo Hazuki In Sega All-Stars Racing: Transformed: It's Not Pretty...

Alright, it's been a while since I talked about Sega racers so let's do this.

So we all know that Ryo Hazuki is in Sega All-Stars Racing: Transformed.  Sumo inserted pics of Ryo in the Yogscast DLC trailers like a parent that says, "Don't open your eyes, I got a present for you!" and you open your eyes anyway.  Here, he's driving OutRun, Hang-On, and Space Harrier cabinets which is really damn clever and also a great ode to the classics.  It's a million times better then that Yogscast Charity DLC dreck.  Who knows about Yogscast?  I don't but then again, I'm not from the UK.

Your stats suck.

Yep, this is the guy who got his own character in Sonic All-Stars Racing.  Good work, Sega.

So what's my initial response to seeing the Ryo character?  This:

Now, it's not that I dislike Ryo but come on guys, Sega All-Stars Racing: Transformed is OVER A YEAR OLD.  It's a great game, yeah, but the hype for this game has gone down drastically.  I let my Xbox Gold expire last month (and had to enter a chat room with a MS representative to disable it because MS is too lazy to put the button on their site, thankfully the rep was very polite to me) so I won't be playing online for a while now (assuming I do play again).  Had Ryo been introduced back in the game's heyday (while the fans were doing those stupid online petitions) then yeah, we'd be partying til the break of dawn.  But now it's sorta like, "Okay...thanks Sumo!  Glad someone there actually cares about the hardcorez fans and shiz."

Then things went from "meh" to "Oh Please God No" in a heartbeat:

In this situation, Ryo is vindictive of why we can't have nice things.  Simply cause Ryo is an iPhone-exclusive character.  You cannot play him on Xbox 360 and PS3.  You CAN play him on PC but not for a while now.  All I know is that Sumo/Sega saved Ryo for a year later just so they can convince us to buy the iPhone version.  In the ideal world, Sumo would put all the characters into one superior version (PC version) but now they're playing patty-cake with gamers to make another buck off the same damn game.

Sooooo...why complain?  The iPhone version can't be that bad!  Well, it's a mixed bag for a multitude of reasons.  They can be narrowed down to two:

1. Game's stripped of a load of content.  There's only 13 characters in this version and they are Sonic, Tails, Amy, Gum, Ulala, Amigo, BD Joe, Joe Musashi, Eggman, AGES (Thank You Lord Jesus!!), Ryo, Ralph, Metal Sonic, Knuckles, and Shadow.  That's right, they nixed Beat but kept Gum in.  Plus they didn't cut any of the Sonic characters at all, proving that Sumo is catering to the major Sonic fanbase out there and screwing the rest of us fans.  Gee whiz, I know this is an 1.0 GB iPhone game but it's really a downer.

As for tracks, well I don't have a clue.  There's no outright "pick a track and race," the game's sort of an amalgamation of Grand Prix and World Tour modes--not much flexibility in terms of single-player.  I'm guessing Ocean Hill (a track I'm really getting sick of), Skies of Arcadia, and Afterburner will get a shiatload of facetime so get ready for those.

2. Microtransactions.  Let me explain how this works.  You pay $5 for the game.  No big deal, sounds good.  But all of the characters (sans your one choice of Tails, Amy, Gum, Ulala, Amigo, BD Joe, or regular Joe) are locked from the start.  That's right, Sonic is locked from the very beginning of the game.  You unlock rings through races which allow you to unlock most things, just like any good iPhone game.  But with any race mode outside the Easy difficulty level (there's 4 levels), you have to pay rings to enter and restart the level.  That's also right, you can't just pick a Medium/Hard/Super Hard race and replay it over and over until you win.  If you run out of rings, you have to restock by doing the Easy races all over again.

So what does Sumo do?  Include a $10 DLC that removes this restart cost, allowing you replay the races without any entry fee.  It's pretty damn dirty to include extra costs on top of a game that's already not free to play.  I mean if you go into the game thinking $15 is a decent price for the game, sure that's not too bad.  But they just had to sneak that extra $10 in there.

The recoil from this decision was so immense that Steve Lycett AKA DarthS0L had to play Sumo PR Agent and take to the message boards explaining his decision.  Yeah, he's been scooting around the official Sega forums, Sonic Stadium, and NeoGAF which is kind of ridiculous cause if you need someone to actually explain a controversial decision to your face, odds are you f**ked up somehow.  He says it's entirely possible to unlock everything in the game without paying any more than the initial $5.  Which is reasonable because I've played a couple of the Nimblebit iPhone games and haven't spent a dime on 'em--Tiny Tower, Tiny Death Star, Pocket Planes, Pocket Trains.  Grinding works on these games.

But as we all know, these microtransactions are a HUGE shortcut.  For instance, I could unlock AGES by playing the game for 10-15 hours and saving up my in-game currency.  OR I can just pay $5 and unlock him right now.  $5 to skip 10-15 hours of grinding.  I honestly don't know how long it takes to unlock AGES but the point is by making Ryo an iPhone exclusive, it boosts the number of sales this game gets and Sumo can make an average of $15 for each person that invests in this game.  That can be huge considering how this game is a straight port with little gameplay changes.

Aside from these two things, the game looks okay.  You level up your characters' stats rather than unlock these stupid Speed/Accel/Boost/Console mods like in previous versions which is a nice touch.  It runs at a constant 30 FPS and the iPhone controls, while they look manageable, still look difficult and imprecise like playing Mario Kart Wii with the Wiimote.  Online play only includes 4 players max.   I just can't imagine playing any action-heavy game on an iPhone--I'd rather save that for consoles/PC, and even throwing Ryo into the mix doesn't change my mind much.

Also to unlock Ryo, you have to beat a bunch of Weekly Challenges.  He's this game's AGES--just a pain in the ass to unlock.  And I also know that Ryo has the words "Shen 3" written on his license plate.  Everyone knows that.  But think of the possibilities--perhaps Sumo/Sega introduced Ryo as a character to gauge the interest in a Shenmue HD port.  The likelihood of getting a Shenmue 3 from the iOS Sega All-Stars Racing: Transformed is nil and odds are the Internet-savvy DarthS0L threw that on the license plate just to tease the Shenmue petitioners out there.  But Sega is just weird like that so I don't discount the possibility of a Shenmue 3 someday.  After all, if Yu Suzuki wanted to conclude the storyline, he could release a manga, satiate the fans, and call it a day.  But he hasn't spoiled it yet which leads me to believe he's still trying to persuade Sega to make that Shenmue 3 game.  I just hope he doesn't take it to the grave with him.

UPDATE: Ryo Hazuki has since then been added as DLC for the PC Steam version of Sega All-Stars Racing: Transformed.  It costs $1.59.  This was a couple of days after this entry was posted.  While this is certainly good news, it leaves the console versions hanging (Xbox 360/PS3 are the plague and not worth touching), plus Sega/Sumo did play some of us into buying the iPhone version.  Take this news what you will.

I don't plan on buying Sega All-Stars Racing: Transformed on the iPhone.  Does that make me a bad Sega fan?  Well, that's your opinion.  I just don't think it's worth the money.  I'll play the crap out of the the console & PC versions but the iPhone version needs to be better for me to consider it.  BTW, putting characters aside, it sure would be hella nice to get some track DLC too.  But no, we're stuck playing Ocean Hill, After Burner, and Hagia Sophia--I mean Panzer Dragoon for eternity.

One more interesting thing.  I do check the Sumo website occasionally for job openings.  Nothing that I can get, sadly.  But here's something interesting--"Vehicle Handling and Performance Specialist."  Yep, they're looking for people who know how to make race cars in video games!

We require a gas-guzzling, do-nutting Petrol-head for an exciting design opportunity!

Are you a car freak? Do you have at least three years of design experience on high profile console driving games?

Sumo is looking for someone with great experience and a passion for tweaking the physics and performance characteristics of a wide range of vehicles in a successful driving franchise to join our team of Stig Fantasists in Sheffield. A background of successful game design experience is important, as is an understanding of (and passion for) car handling, set-up and the console racing genre.

If you’re auto-obsessed and want to contribute to one of the most successful driving franchises of all time, get in touch ASAP – we want to talk to you.

Do I have a chance?  An infinitesimal one.  Here's why.  One, I'm a programmer and not a producer.  Two, I don't have three years of experience in ANY professional studio, much less racing game studios.  Sure, the yearly requirements can be stretched a little (i.e. you have two years instead of three and they accept you anyway) but three years is out of my reach.  Three, what am I going to cite--this blog???  Hell, if Sumo read this blog, they might recoil in disgust and not hire me.  Yeah, I'm a big fan of theirs but I'm too much of a hipster and am critical of everything and that might not bode well with 90% of the game industry.

It sucks but look at it this way--Sumo is still making racing games.  That's awesome and that includes the potential for a new Daytona game.  I just hope I can get on-board soon enough...

2013 Motorsports Recap! Part 2, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Hello boys and girls!  You know what time of the year it is...it's CHRISTMAS time which means more ass-kicking race car clips for you!!  Let's begin.


The All-Star Race is a side attraction to the circus show to the NASCAR, but at least they got one good thing going for it.  Qualifying for the All-Star Race is different than regular season races and is a little game of its own.  Each driver runs three laps and has to make one pit stop.  There's no speed limit on pit road so they ZOOM right on through!  See the Beginner course trick from Daytona USA.  Bitch please, I drive through pits to shave 1.5 seconds off my laps. Though in NASCAR, you have to stop in your pit lane, so yeah, there's that too.

Messing up your pit docks you time penalties so don't screw up.  Top three qualifiers get $50K, $10K, and $5K respectively to share between themselves and their pit crews.


In previous years preceding the All-Star Race was the Pit Crew Challenge.  Basically, pit crews raced against the clock to complete their respective tasks and push their car across the finish line first.  It's a clever little ruse and pit lane choices for the All-Star Race are determined by the results of the Pit Crew Challenge.  But they didn't hold the event in 2013 for some reason so...yeah, disappointing.

These pit crew guys are athletes too, you're a fool to think otherwise.


Anyway, speaking of pit stops...here's Indy Car again.  This was at Sonoma, the 15th race of the season (out of 18).  In the thick of the championship hunt, Scott Dixon (red car) and Will Power (black car) pitted late in the race.  One of Power's crew members was walking with a tire and Dixon clipped him as he drove out.  Fortunately he wasn't hurt but Indycar penalized Dixon a pit drive-thru.

Dixon dropped from first to 15th and Power laughed his ass of as he won the race.  There was debate that the pit member deliberately stuck the tire out in order to hinder his rival.  It could've been an accident because the Indycar pit lanes differ from the lines on the pavement.  Regardless, hitting other pit crews is a black & white issue so there was no room for Dixon to debate.  There was some controversy but regardless, Dixon won the Championship and Power came in 4th overall.  Serves them right.


Back to NASCAR funny antics!  Here's Max Papis and he likes slapping people.  After the Nationwide race at Road America, he pays a little favor to his rival Billy Johnson, while walking away with that shit-eating grin.

And Max Slapis would later get his at a Craftsman Truck Race at Circuit Gilles Villeneue in Montreal.  After getting involved in a late-race wreck, a crazy lady (girlfriend of the driver of the #6 car, Mike Skeen) bitch-slapped him in the face on camera (it's at the end of the video).

Max claimed his jaw was dislocated and his ears rung after that hit.  If so, well, I smell a lawsuit!  No idea what came of it...


More fighting in NASCAR??  NO WAY!!  Rednecks gonna redneck.  BUT FIRST...Le Mans 24 (or "Luh Mah").  Drunken louts mumble and moon the camera.  THIS IS FRANCE, THE CULTURAL CENTER OF THE WORLD, WE DON'T DO SHITE LIKE THIS, RIGHT????

Back to NASCAR, basically Joey Logano is the Grim Reaper.  Well, what do I mean.  Joey gets in a fight with Denny Hamlin after a race at Bristol.  Denny would later get injured at Fontana and sit out for six weeks.

Who's next?  Tony Stewart goes redneck on Joey.  Whoops, Tony gets hurt in a dirt race in Iowa.

And Ryan Newman ALMOST came to blows with Joey but held back.  Good for Ryan!  Cause nobody f**ks with Joey.


Ya wanna see more fighting?  Let's get back to Danica Patrick.  Kyle Petty, "Danica Patrick is not a racecar driver!"  Instant classic, although I wouldn't say Kyle is that much better than Danica.  Only eight Cup Series wins in 30 years of NASCAR.  Ooooo, burned, Kyle!!!  Give Danica a couple more years and a non-shitty race team and she'll whoop your old man ass.  Okay, maybe not, but he makes a good point.  Danica has been in more than her fair share of commercials (plus one Sega racer) and doesn't have much to back it up besides a pair of tits.

But Danica is still not immune!  Here comes Jay Mohr at the NASCAR awards banquet--wait, that ass clown that read jokes off the sheet of paper at Blizzcon??  Yes indeed.  Danica and her new BF Ricky Stenhouse Jr. are not amused.  Seriously, can someone who is NOT an idiot criticize Danica for once?

Oh hey, one more clip.  This is between truck drivers Kevin Harvick (#14) and the "spoiled rich kid" Ty Dillon (#3).  Dillon clips Harvick and they both take a dive.  Harvick pulls up to Dillon's pit stop and gets a sledgehammer tossed at his car.  Last time I checked, getting hit by a tossed sledgehammer can be rather painful.  Whose the wise-ass who threw it?  It's at the end of the clip BTW.

And some more funny/cool shite:

*Brad Keselowski goes for a leisurely jog.
*Tony Stewart REDNECKS at the new cool Kyle Busch.
*Carl Edwards gets paper on his grille and gets in a fight with Greg Biffle when needing to use Greg's bumper as a toothbrush (the story sucks, I apologize).
*Brutal last-lap wreck at Talladega truck race.
*Greg Biffle's pink bumper peels off during the caution and channels his inner Mister Mayhem.

*I become a Kurt Busch fan because he drives the Wonder Bread and City Chevrolet cars in Sprint Cup and Nationwide respectively.  Mad props to him.  Kurt ballin on your chin.

*Donovan McNabb says NASCAR drivers are not athletes.  You know what, Donny boy?  You're a washed up QB like Jake Delhomme and Rex Grossman who bummed your to Superbowl losses against superior teams with superior QB's.  Definition of sport: "An activity involving physical exertion and skill in which an individual or team competes against another or others for entertainment."   Driving fast cars for 3+ hours requires a lot of stamina (and is very frustrating).  Otherwise, everybody would be doing it.  Besides, ESPN airs Poker and Spelling Bee championships and can those be called sports??  GET OUTTA HERE...

*Jimmie Johnson wins his sixth title.  Real shocker there.  Matt Kenseth almost had him but had to choke down the final stretch.  The fans on social media were raged at Jimmie's win because he's a "cheater" and he doesn't deserve it.  Unlike other NASCAR legends like Dale Earnhardt and Richard Petty, Jimmie didn't build his own team from scratch--he basically inherited Hendrick's birthright.  But regardless, kudos to him since to win that many titles when everyone hates your guts is definitely admirable.

*Also, F1.  You thought Jimmie was ruining his sport.  Well, how about Sebastian Vettel, German driver of the Red Bull team?  He won the last 9 races of the 2013 F1 season.  Yes, NINE WINS IN A ROW.  He also won the last four championships in a row.  Now F1 is talking of adding more double points races in order to level the playing field to give trailing drivers a chance to catch up to runaways like Sebastian.  Just like NASCAR instituting the Chase in response to Jimmie's domination (read my thoughts on the Chase here).  Parity, what's that?  Lol...

I pick my nose after every race.

*RIP Jason Leffler.  RIP Allan Simonsen.  RIP Paul Walker.  Fast cars are still not safe.  It makes me sad but they are to be admired for being true gearheads.  I already said my piece on deceased drivers after the Dan Wheldon crash.  Injuries and death keep happening but some would rather risk it than live a boring safe life so kudos man...kudos... ;_;

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! :D :D :D

Classy.

PART ONE RIGHT HERE.

2013 Motorsports Recap! Part One

Hello boys and girls!  It's been a while but don't fear, I come bringing good tidings of old motorsports of 2013!  I stockpiled clips of racing during the whole year to fill your warm fireplaces with joy in this abstinence of race cars this frigid winter.  Ok, let's get it on, I got a lot of catching up to do.

First we will we start with IndyCar.  No, not the Indy 500, but close to it.  This is the Firestone Indy Lights race held on May 24th, two days before the Indy 500.  It's like the Minor League of IndyCar.  But this race had one of the best finishes in history.  It must be watched.  You will never see four cars outside of NASCAR finish this close to each other in a long time.

Once you're done pissing yourself, it's time to move on to May 26th!  Alright, this is the 97th running of the Indianapolis 500, the greatest spectacle of motorsports.  You win the Indy 500, you are a legend among drivers regardless of your other feats as your name goes on that hefty trophy for all time.  Even if you aren't a full-time IndyCar driver, you can still participate for the glory of racing.

This year, the honor goes to a Mr. Tony Kanaan of Brazil.  It was arguably one of the best runnings of the Indy 500 of all time because there were a grand total of 64 lead changes (among 14 different leaders), which eclipsed the previous record of 34 set last year.  While it was exciting, the race ended under a yellow flag because Dario Franchitti wrecked with three laps to go.  Since IndyCar doesn't do Green-White-Checkered finishes like NASCAR (which means you run the 200 laps and no more than that), the race unenthusiastically ends with the cars puttering across the finish line.

There are implications to this.  Kanaan and his rivals, primarily Carlos Munoz and Ryan Hunter-Reay, were exchanging the lead every couple of laps so it was basically a crapshoot going into the final 5-10 laps.  This is because in IndyCar (and not NASCAR), there are rules against blocking faster cars more than once.  If a faster car is about to pass and you can't outrun him, you may only move to block him ONCE, afterwards you give him the right of way or else you're penalized.  Since the cars are so close, they were able to draft and pass each other continuously.  Therefore, had Franchitti not wrecked with three laps to go, Kanaan might've surrendered the lead to Munoz or Hunter-Reay and lost the race.  But no, Franchitti sealed his fate and thus will be receiving a Christmas card by a certain someone this year, I bet.

Vin Diesel's Brazilian cousin.

Now, this finish-under-caution wouldn't be such a downer except for the fact it has happened in the three of the last four Indy 500's with the odd man out actually involving a crash as well but no caution (J.R. Hildebrand's chokejob).  So basically it's "Wreckers or Checkers."  Can't blame 'em cause winning the Indy 500 is the highlight of your career.  But still, I kinda wish they had the GWC finishes like NASCAR does.

Later that day, there was the Coke 600 in Charlotte, the longest race of the NASCAR season.  And the commentators were dumping all over IndyCar for not implementing the GWC finish.  Okay, fine, they make a valid point.  But then they take a text message poll, "Which race is harder to win, the Indy 500 or the Coke 600?"  At that point, I think I shit myself.  Now, I love my NASCAR and can understand the 600 miles are so taxing, but the Indy 500 is the BIGGEST RACE IN THE WORLD and I think tacking on an extra 100 miles (in slower cars too) isn't enough to make it harder than the Indy 500, I'm sorry guys.

As for Formula 1, Monaco was boring and I was too sleepy to pay attention (it aired at 3 am in Florida).  All I remember is Pastor Maldonado being popped like a pimple.  Monaco is apparently too tight to be competitive anymore.

Now, back to NASCAR.  Because I love NASCAR even if it sucks.  A week before the Coke 600, NASCAR holds a mid-season All-Star Race.  It's worth zero season points but it has a million dollar prize for the winner.  It's a short race (90 laps, 135 miles) with four forced cautions to split up the monotony (why???).  It's balls-out racing and there's no teamwork here so cut your opponents off Mario-Kart style for the bookoo bucks!!

Listen to the cool-ass music.  Anyway, this year there were 22 drivers with 21 of them being selected by certain merits--having the most points in the season, winning at least one race, or winning the pre-race event beforehand (the pub all-star event against crappy slow cars who don't stand a chance).  Also, there's room for one additional driver who wins the "fan vote."  Take a wild guess who got into the race this year?  Huh?  From Jasper, Illinois, it's Danica Patrick.  She finished 20th.  And Jimmie Johnson finished first.  OF COURSE, WHAT DID YOU EXPECT???

Now, to dump on NASCAR some more, let's take a look at Tony Kanaan and Jimmie Johnson who won both their respective races.  Jimmie Johnson won $1,000,000.  Want to take a guess what Tony Kanaan won? $2,353,355, a 2014 Corvette Pace Car, and 2014 regular Corvette, and the most fabled race trophy in auto racing.

Go home NASCAR, you're drunk.

Oh boy...there's so many more videos left to show you so I'm going to call it a day for now and post the rest later!  I promise.  Cya tomorrow!

PART 2 RIGHT HERE.

NASCAR: The Reality TV Series

So this is the first time I've posted in a month so it'll be difficult but I'll try my best.

The NASCAR season has 10 races to go.  This is the "Chase."  Let me explain for those who don't know.  For the first 26 races of the season, drivers gain points and wins, like a regular race series.  Once the 26 races are over, the Top 12 drivers are entered into the Chase, where the points are reset and it becomes a brand new season over the last 10 races.  Drivers that fail to make the Chase still participate in the races but only the 12 Chase drivers can win the championship trophy.  So basically, if you want to win the Big Trophy at the end, you MUST make the Chase.

As you imagine, there's a couple of problems with this.  The first one is if you gain enough points to lock yourself in the Chase, those last couple of races become meaningless in terms of the Championship.  Look at Jimmie Johnson's record over the last 4 races--finished 40th, 36th, 28th, and 40th, very noobish, I figure Jimmie liked wrecking the car cause "YOLO, I'm in the Chase anyway."  Yeah, Jimmie has that baby girl but who cares, NASCAR trumps family.  The second one, which we can see on display now, is that racing teams will "game the system" to get their drivers enough points to make it to the Chase.  That is not to say this has never happened in motorsport but the nature of the Chase just acerbates the problem.

Richmond was the 26th race, a 3/4 mile oval.  Four drivers were on the bubble--Joey Logano (#22), Martin Truex Jr. (#56), Jeff Gordon (#24), and Ryan Newman (#39), and only two of the four could make the Chase.  A couple of things go down and here's what I got out of the flurry of news the last few days:

* Early in the race, Jeff Gordon struggles and goes a lap down.  Going a lap down is a death kneel for a driver's chances of winning.  Think about restarts as "rounding up" your lap progress so if you're on the lead lap when that happens, you gain a lot of ground (dropped a second behind the leader) that you don't get a lap down.   So stay on the lead lap as long as you can.  Hendrick Motorsports teammate Jimmie Johnson dings his car to draw a caution that helps Jeff get his s*** together and back on the lead lap.

* Brian Vickers is ordered to pit with a few laps to go to help his fellow Michael Waltrip Racing teammate, Martin Truex Jr., move up another spot.

* Joey Logano falters late into the race (about 20-25th place).  One position ahead of Logano is David Gilliliand (#38).  Penske Motorsports (Logano's team) bribes Front Row Racing (Gilliliand's team) to tell the Gilliliand to slow down and let Logano pass.

* But worst of all!  Late in the race, Ryan Newman is leading the race by a sizable margin.  If he wins, then he's in the Chase.  Michael Waltrip Racing, owner of Clint Bowyer (#15) and Martin Truex Jr.'s cars, is aware that Truex Jr. is in jeopardy of missing the Chase if Newman wins.  So Clint (who is a lock for the Chase) is ordered to spin out with 5 laps to go to help Truex Jr.  A caution comes out and on the restart, Newman loses his momentum and finishes 3rd.  It gives Truex Jr. just enough points to make the Chase.

"39's gonna win the race"

"Well that kinda sucks...5 more right here"

"Is your arm starting to hurt?"

"I bet it's hot in there, itch it"

"Oh yeah"

*le spin*

There's no real defense of what happened here.  Shoot, in the post race interview, if you stare away from the camera and say "Yeah, uhhmm, we had a bad tire..." you're lying.  And Clint continues to do television interviews denying any wrongdoing with team owner Michael Waltrip claims Clint really had poison ivy (who tells someone to really scratch their arm on the radio???).  He's not in court, he doesn't need to plead the 5th, he's already been slapped on the wrist, he might as well say "I cheated, I'm sorry" and just get on with it.  But no, he continues to shred any credibility he's had thus far.  If you're dug in a hole, most give up but a few keep digging their way to China.  Remember this is the same guy from a year ago who instigated a brawl with Jeff Gordon so I'm not surprised by Bowyer's actions.

Post-race, the initial result were Truex Jr. and Logano are in the Chase and Gordon and Newman are out.  However, the next day, NASCAR penalized Michael Waltrip Racing, deducting points from Bowyer, Truex Jr., and Vickers and suspending their pit chiefs.  The point loss was enough to replace Newman with Truex Jr. in the Chase.  And then, a few days later, after the Logano controversy comes to light and after Gordon's bitching, NASCAR puts Gordon in the chase too for a grand total of 13 Chase drivers, flagrantly tossing the rulebook out the window.  As of now, Logano or Gordon were not penalized for their mutinies.

The only thing more baffling is Michael Waltrip's dance routine.

EDIT: It gets better!  Today, NASCAR adds a new rule to the book that reaffirms COMMON SENSE SPORTS ETIQUETTE that we were taught by Herm Edwards years ago.

NASCAR requires its competitors to race at 100 percent of their ability with the goal of achieving their best possible finishing position in an event. Any competitor who takes action with the intent to artificially alter the finishing positions of the event or encourages, persuades or induces others to artificially alter the finishing position of the event shall be subject to a penalty from NASCAR. Such penalties may include but are limited to disqualification and/or loss of finishing points and/or fines and/or loss of points and/or suspension and/or probation to any and all members of the teams, including any beneficiaries of the prohibited actions.

Artificially altered' shall be defined as actions by any competitor that show or suggest that the competitor did not race at 100 percent of their ability for the purpose of changing finishing positions in the event at NASCAR's sole discretion.

Is this really necessary?  Are NASCAR drivers dicking around that much that they need to be told "you better try hard or else"?  Can't we just say "don't game the system" and call it a day?  Okay, so this 100% balls out thing is A BIG F'ING DEAL.  Get Rich Christensen on the phone.  He runs bracket drag races (which make no sense) and he can tell when you're not going all out, hence the name of his show PINKS: ALL OUT.  Some BS like "Jimmie Johnson ran a 32 sec lap at qualifying, now he's running 31.5 sec laps late in the race, he's clearly sandbagging, BLACK FLAG HIS ASS."

IF YOU DON'T GO ALL OUT, YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE HERE

NASCAR has no idea what they're doing.  Truex Jr. is the sacrificial lamb in this situation.  It's a shame because technically, he did nothing wrong, his teammates did.  Bowyer and Logano are still in the Chase, Truex isn't.  And after learning about Gordon's inclusion in the Chase, Truex Jr. objects to it.  Think about this--if Truex is punished by Bowyer's yellow flag, shouldn't Gordon be punished for Johnson's yellow flag too?  So basically, NASCAR is like a reality TV show that adds and changes flimsy rules as it goes on to create the drama it so desires.

I CALL BULLSHIT YOU GUYS

Besides, I'm getting tired of the Chase being called "NASCAR's playoffs" anyway.  In other sports, if you lose a playoff game (or series of games), you're eliminated from subsequent competition.  Players/teams are eliminated until one remains.  In NASCAR, this isn't the case since you can still participate in and win races even if you're mathematically eliminated from the Chase or aren't even in it in the first place.  Just get into the chase, get a car that can win mile/mile-and-a-half tracks and win the championship.  Besides, what are the odds these non-Chase drivers can win the Championship at that point in the Season?  Isn't the Chase useless except for resetting points and nullifying the progress made over the last 26 races?  It's absurd and I'm pretty sure most NASCAR diehards want it eliminated after 8 years of its institution.

Oh well, I'm a NASCAR fan but still, I have to shake my head at these guys anyway.  Tomorrow, we go Boogity Boogity Chase Racing again and it'll be brushed aside.  So anyway, that's it, and screw Alabama for yet another curb stomping of a SEC rival (Texas A&M).  Life sucks and I'm still unemployed but the SEGA flame never dies.

A Nightmarish Week Of Losing My Car And Job

GUYS I'M DOING ALRIGHT NOW.  Sorry about the radio silence.  This has been a really shitty week--let me just describe it as best as I know how.

PRE-MEMORIAL DAY 5/24:
Things are going swimmingly.  The project we're working on received a six-month extension and the company is upsizing!  Everyone is let off work a few hours early but I stay to add an alternate control scheme for the vehicles as presented by another one of the programmers (accel, brake, and steer are mapped to the left joystick).  Got that in, impressed the "boss," and got a three-day weekend (Monday was Memorial Day).

WEDNESDAY 5/29:
After an average Tuesday workday, I drive in to work on a damp Wednesday morning.  As I enter the parking lot in my blue 2-door bullet-shaped sedan, I traverse some slippery black pavement with one more left-hand turn to go before I reach my parking space.  Hit the brakes but OOPS, the car won't slow down or turn as I careen into a fenced region with a dumpster inside at about 20 mph.  Airbags go off, windshield cracks, and an undetermined amount of damage is concurred to the front right of the vehicle as two of my coworkers run over to aid me...and end up slipping on the black pavement as well.  Shows you how ridiculously bad this pavement is in the rain...a sign or a speed bump would've helped you sons of bitches.  It was the most BS way to crash, really.

I am not physically hurt but have to hold back man-tears because of fear my vehicular companion of 7 years may have taken its last ride.  After making a round of calls to the cops, insurance, rental car, AAA guys, one placed to my family, my dad's response was basically "HOLD ON SON JUST LEAVE THE CAR THERE!!" as he hopped in my mom's black 4-door Mercedes and drove 9 hours from Louisiana (my original home) to Florida (my workplace) just to help fix the car.  I called off the tow truck and the rental car as he showed up after work to bang the car together a bit.  Turns out all the damage was cosmetic and all it needed was a new windshield, airbags, and front right light and bumper/panels.  My dad was able to drive it back to the garage to get the windshield replaced which was a miracle in and of itself.

That combined with the ticket would probably set me back at least a week's salary which isn't TOO bad and is certainly a relief because I thought I would be reamed with much more than that.  I didn't think things could get much worse than this but guess what--it did! :D

FRIDAY 5/31:
So anyway, after spending some impromptu quality time with my dad on Thursday, he jets back to Louisiana Friday morning in my blue car for repairs while I drive the Benz to work for the second day in a row.  All is good as me and everyone else appear to be loafing around the office before the weekend arrives.

At 6 pm, one of the HR ladies comes to my office saying she needs to speak with me.  I say okay, and we make this rather awkward walk down the hall to the conference room.  I've seen that expression on her face before, the one that's like "you're fucked so I won't say anything to you" as I'm forced to sit in the room alone for a few minutes waiting for people to show up for the eventual sacrificial lamb ceremony.  Two more HR people arrive and, to summarize, say "We're letting you go at the end of your probation period because the engineers say you have had performance issues, goodbye."  (FYI, engineer = programmer)

At this point, I turn pale as my worst nightmare turns true--I had failed to hold down my second job for ridiculous reasons and all I could think of was the metaphorical vacuum cleaner that had sucked me right out of the womb and tossed me into the dumpster--the very one I had run into two days ago.  I beg them to tell me what I had done wrong or how I could have improved but they basically deflected it, saying that they're not engineers so they have no idea.  Hey, this is wonderful.  I'm being let go from my job without a single clue on how to improve myself going into my next job.  It's as if the cowardly engineers who called for my abortion decided not to stare me in the face one last time and try to help me out as a human being in need of improvement just so that they could bolt home from work and get the weekend started a few minutes later.  You've gotta be kidding me.

After getting shit-canned for the second time for no good reason, watching both my car and my job get destroyed in seconds, I panic and start calling friends and family, including my parents, to tell them about how molested I had just felt.  What happens next? Dad calls and says "HOLD ON SON I'LL BE THERE TO BRING YOU HOME!!"  That's right, my dad who had just arrived back in Louisiana after driving 18 hours in the last two days insisted on driving straight back to Florida AGAIN (in a different car besides the blue bullet) with my brother and his GF in tow just to help me pack up my stuff and return home with my family.  Apparently I couldn't have made the 9-hour drive alone by myself (I was too emotionally wrecked) and my mom wanted me home for her birthday (June 2nd, 2 days from now) so yep, there goes my dad again.

SATURDAY 6/1:
At this point in time, all I could think about is why exactly was I fired and how utterly distraught I was.  Was it because I was a terrible employee?  Was it because I wasn't smart or good enough at this job career?  Or was it because I rubbed my boss the wrong way?  These are thing that had me in a cold sweat as my dad showed up at 5 am to pick me up and drive me home that day, making him drive a grand total of 36 hours in the last three days.  Thanks game studio for sucking ass and not firing me on a Thursday.  Would've saved us a lot of stress and gas money.

I get home and spend time with my family at last.  Too bad as soon as I get home, the house basically collapses in on itself as I have to contend with other issues--Brother #1's girlfriend who is always getting in fights and stirring up trouble, Brother #2's loudmouth friends and irrational obsession with whoever uses his toothbrush, Brother #3 and his friend always playing video games and bothering me at every waking moment.  It's like not only did getting fired fuck up my life, it also fucked up my family's cause now I'm another obstacle that's trying to inhibit progress or some bullshit like that.

MONDAY 6/3:
After a weekend's worth of radio silence, I finally get in touch with one of my friends at the company.  He says that I was the only one fired and that there were meetings going on discussing why exactly I was fired.  In other words, every single person, including the engineers who called for my head, was discussing my termination with everyone else EXCEPT FOR THE PERSON WHO ACTUALLY GOT FIRED which is me.  There was nothing I could do but picture my sacrificial lamb corpse being flogged and molested some more as every single lie about me propagated through that building and all my credibility was shot to hell.

I immediately fell sick once again as my mother decided to take actions into her own hands and send a "to whom it may concern" email to the company in a last-ditch attempt to find out what was being said about me.  Was this a good idea?  I DON'T KNOW, I'm in panic mode as it is so it's not like things could get that much worse.  Who replied?  The head of the company, not one of the engineers, who rather than try to find out some legitimate information replied with a jerk-ass email about how he's sorry and how it's a big company and you suck so STFU and never bother us again.  My mother was aghast and so was I.

TUESDAY 6/4:
Another miserable day and, after rocking the boat for so long, I finally get some sort of e-mail response from an anonymous engineer (though I can tell who it is) with a list of wrongdoings and things I could do to improve myself.  The list was mostly bullshit--basically a couple of one-time errors that I had made in the last two weeks that I had since then apologized and corrected.  What's one for instance?  "Including vestigal code that could possibly break the game's logic or the build in the future."  It was one instance of me setting a UDK actor as the parent of another actor and that was over a month ago.  Boss man asked me what I had meant by that code and I walked in, succinctly explained what it had meant by these few lines of code from a long time ago, and they were removed and no harm was done.  But somehow, because of this one incident, I was essentially leaving landmines throughout the entire database.  Okay.

Another thing--"Doesn't know how to follow design documents or take instruction."  This one I love so much.  Basically, the last thing I was working on with the game was UDK vehicles--a tank and two 4-wheel-vehicles to be specific.  And after receiving a bunch of good feedback on how the vehicles have handled, I received an outdated design document for the vehicle as well as feedback from various designers, some of whom spent time in countless meanings or weren't at work at all.  So I was sorta left with a bunch of incomplete, conflicting design ideas for the vehicles, some of which I had to bang together and hand off to whomever was reviewing them at the moment.  I always carried and pen & paper with me to write down any suggested changes which I implemented one-by-one.  Yet somehow, it's all my fault for being a lousy employee.

Yet another thing--"Don't submit huge chunks of code at once and review over it 100 times."  Basically, just be all tippy-toed when editing code which IMO sorta conflicts with my programming methodology.  I just took very small steps trying to edit large systems of the game and whenever I'd try to hurry things up, I'd get a stern lecture.  It was really nonsensical and is another thing that just clashed with my boss.

And lastly, the most fun of all--"Repeatedly late" and "Always playing games in his spare time."  The time frame to arrive in the morning is from 8 to 10 am.  You must stay for 9 hours each day.  Me, I opted to arrive at 10 am and leave at 7.  It was a good deal and my bosses rarely spoke up against it.  But somehow, in that last week, wrecking my car and limping to work late didn't help my cause any.  It's like the flair from Office Space--you want me to show up at 9 am?  Then make it a rule to show up at 9 AM!!!  As for the games--we always have a one-hour lunch break to hang out and play games if we like.  I was playing games during that time but because of how low-pressure the time was that last week of employment, I would occasionally open up my iPhone to click on my Tiny Tower buildings.  Not like I replaced work with games...I just started running out of work that last week because everyone was either in a meeting or simply loafed around as well.

In short, my worst nightmares had come true--my boss only took the worst aspects of my tenure (from his point of view), blew them up really large, and used them to incriminate me as a terrible employee.  To make it worse, my boss had opted not to be transparent with my wrongdoing this whole entire time, essentially feigning friendship with me until the last moment when I was taken out via a firing squad he wasn't even present in.  I still have yet to reply to that e-mail.  Technically, they have my balls in a vice so I can't reply even with the slightest disagreement since they'll think I've learned nothing and won't give me a positive reference in my future employment.  Just the quality of everything has went to shit since I got fired.  Did I learn something from all this?  Sure!  Be more transparent with your boss.  Be more conscientious with your image.  Also try showing up to work a little earlier and put down the iPhone.  But there are ALWAYS things you can do better to improve your image so that's beside the point.

TLDR: The whole thing boils down to this--I had a picky boss whom had duped me into thinking I was doing a good job up until the very last moment when I was fired and accused of being a terrible employee.  He had taken forever to get back to me with a crummy email listing a bunch of wrongdoings I don't necessary agree with.  I am currently unemployed and living with my parents but I'll find another game programming job somewhere (I SURE HOPE SO) and hopefully rebound from this mess.  Thanks for reading.  I want to get back on-topic with some Sega stuff, some Indy 500 or NASCAR talk, it's just that I feel like I've been dunked repeated in a tub of dog piss over the last couple of days so it's gonna take some serious time to recover.  Thanks for your understanding.

Was Having A "Good" Day

...until I saw this on Reddit Gaming...was like 6th or 7th from the top of the page.

Let the Burnout/Split-Second spooge-fest begin!  I love how we can't even play the "less realistic racing games plz" card anymore cause it descends to this:

"Hey Eric, like the new Forza/Drive Club?"
"No, I'm tired of realistic games, they should be more focused on gameplay and being fun."
"Oh so it's like Burnout, that's awesome!"
"No...something a little more colorful and lighthearted and...not bro-tastic."
"How about Mario Kart!"
"No, I mean something more arcade-like, fast-paced, and skill based!"
"...Need for Speed?"
"....>_>"

I think I've had the above conversation like twenty times in my life already.  Bah, Sega can't win.

OOPS, WRECKED MY CAR!!!

Well guys, one of the least pleasant things in my life happened today.  You're not going to believe it coming from me but here goes...

I wrecked my car for the very first time.  Before everyone panics, let me get some good things out of the way now.  Nobody, including myself was hurt.  The car, for the most part, is intact.  Very little damage to everything else besides my car.  I have insurance and a AAA and the cops didn't treat me like some outlaw or adrenaline junkie.  My dad is on the way here to help me get my car fixed.  Still, I wrecked my car.

Let me explain what happened.  It's raining, I'm in the office complex's parking lot and have one left turn to go before I made it to my building.  The problem was this black pavement turns into black ice when wet.  I really had no idea until it's too late.  I can't steer or brake at 25 mph as I careen forward into a dumpster behind a fence.  No thanks to the lack of ABS but meh, it wouldn't have helped much anyway.  The air bags deployed but I wasn't slapped in the face or anything.  I was able to start the engine, turn the wheel entirely left & right, play the CD, turn on the air conditioner, and roll up & down the windows.  The main damage came from the right front light which was smashed along with some usual rumbling on the front right wheel, plus the windshield was cracked, the right door won't open, and the air bags obviously went off.

I sorta wept man tears for a while knowing that I had potentially killed my companion of seven years over a stupid incident that could've been prevented.  Thankfully, everything else went okay.  A utility worker called the police for me (lovely), the cop didn't ream me too hard with a ticket ($130), and I was able to drive the car into a nearby parking spot (boy, it would be nice to leave work and see my car parked next to yours...just needs blood on the windshield and doors).  I am feeling better about the car's chance for survival and my ability to rebound.  Personally, I would prefer not to buy a new car for three main reasons--odds are it won't perform any better than my old car (as in it handled well, was clean, and required minimum maintenance), I plan on moving to Britain in a year or two to work for Sumo Digital assuming I get a job there, and I love my old car.  It's a real shit-sucker but to be honest, if you KNEW you were going to get in a wreck some day, this is the best way to wreck.  No one's hurt and everything's being remedied rather quickly.

Still...this has to be the most punk ass bitch way of causing a wreck.  Basically sprinkle the ground with vasoline, make it rain, and don't warn people about potentially slipper terrain.  I mean, put a "slow down when wet" sign or even a speed bump for God's sake--those things suck but at least they would've saved my ass.  Had this been a wreck on dry terrain and/or involving another driver, my morale as an "outstanding driver" would've been shot to hell.  But here, I'm just fuckin' pissed and want to get back on the road as soon as possible.  I don't want to pay a bunch of money, talk to a bunch of random strangers, and wait a long-ass time to get driving again.  That's what makes this so difficult...

Really, could be a worse wreck...see my family friend who decided to ramp a ditch in his Corvette and end up deep in the woods.  Lol, really, you can still see the tire marks where he went off road.  Me on the other hand, just get a hammer and some duct tape and you're ready to go.  Finish 20 laps down but hey, you still get credit for finishing.

There is a mixed blessing among this.  One being that I get to hang out with my dad again.  Another being that I've "experienced" a wreck and have a new-found appreciation for life.  Third being that it gives me more ammo to joke about.  Like being fired or vomiting after a large meal with some friends, it's like "hawhaw, here's some funny jokes at my expense."  That's more source material which is good!

I'll probably post pics later cause I don't care.  I certainly hope I recover soon.  Plus I want to talk about the races over the last two weeks so hang on for those.  Car wrecks aren't going to break my stride.  Semi-relevant video:

HE'S SEEN THE FEAR...HE NEEDS SEGA RACER THERAPY!!!

Xbox One Roast

Congrats, everyone, you are looking at the brand new console to be released by Microsoft at the end of the year.  And yes, that's really the new Xbox One, can't you tell?

Anyway, to celebrate this glorious occasion, the game studio decided to throw a pizza party and air the conference on a projector.  Me, I was just trying to hang myself from the other room cause I knew it wasn't going to be the Dreamcast 2 so what's the point of going on???  Anyway, Xbox One...really?  What did we call the original Xbox?  Just the "Xbox."  Wait, you can't say that since you might be talking about any one of the three Xboxes.  Damn, the "first Xbox."  Well that ALMOST sounds like Xbox One cause "One" sorta equals "First."  Fine, "original Xbox."  Now that's just a mouthful and doesn't roll off the tongue at all.  Screw it, the name is the least of our worries.

Remember that rant from a long time ago?  About how games are trying to move away from gaming and more into the realm of electronic entertainment or "interactive stimulation"?  Well, the future is here ladies and gentlemen.  Games are secondary now.  I want to be able to haul my console up to my damn room just for the sake of playing games--not to watch TV, make Skype calls, update my fantasy football, or be bothered by other people in general cause those are things I can do rather easily without the need for the Xbox One.  Besides, people are the worst.  Would you really like to be FORCED to interact with other people on your game console?  Aren't we already loser nerds as it is, forced to play our games by our lonesome for hours on end?  Last thing I want is to talk to anyone, geez.

I specifically remember playing this video from a year ago at Microsoft's E3.  Oh how nothing's changed for the better.

Ah, finally, about 30 minutes into the conference, they finally mention games.  Speaking of which, I really didn't expect many games to be shown here because E3 is around the corner (though odds are that'll suck too).  But they went ahead with the same expected pre-rendered crap (they actually said "in-game footage" late in the conference, inferring everything before it was a sham) from the same games--EA Sports games, Forza 5, Call of Duty: Ghosts.  Graphics are always nice to have but I'll say this--I'll fucking lose it if these games only run at 30 FPS max.  I would rather play Xbox 360 games with 60 FPS than Xbox One games with 30 FPS.  It makes a subliminal impact on the gameplay.  I'm looking at old games like Daytona USA that run at 60 FPS and have responsive controls.  THAT GAME WAS RELEASED NINETEEN YEARS AGO!!  If we are still obsessed with graphics that bad that we need to crank up the level of detail to the point where the human eye can't notice it anymore, then fuck it, I'm done with this generation of games before they even started.

Oh, by the way, the Kinect is mandatory.  So you can do Minority Style movements to navigate the menus.  Okay, cool.  They also said the detail is now more fine-tuned than ever.  They say that "the Kinect can even recognize wrist turning" which translates to "the Kinect THINKS it can recognize wrist turning but it does such a shitty job at picking it up therefore the broken wrist turning mechanics will be shoehorned into your games, thus breaking certain aspects of the game because some fool thought that shoving the Kinect up your game's ass like a dildo was a smart idea."

Forza 5.  Okay, great graphics, the cityscape was pretty, other than that, what else is there to be expected?

Call of Duty.  Somehow,  features in video games like "feeling affection for your characters" and "character customization" are groundbreaking in the year 2013.  Oh, and lighting in the year 2013 as well.  And the dog.

EDIT: Oh, and Microsoft employees were the only one cheering.

Somehow, to suppress the fact their console is laden with a bunch of shit, they decided to announce the rest of the bad news at a tech conference proceeding the main show.  Never mind the fact that Sony's stock went up 9% at the very moment you guys unveiled the name "Xbox One"!  Here's a couple of QA questions that should alleviate maybe 2% of your concerns.  BTW, their answer to always-online is flat out deceptive--the console must be connected to the Internet at least every 24 hours to remain functional off-line.  I can see why they'd give you the 24 hour leeway in case your connection drops for a moment but still, the fact you have to sign in often is ridiculous.  EDIT: Also dawned on me, I know Microsoft has like some 3000 servers up, but what should happen if the servers (or at the ones near you) went down?  Could you even play the Xbox One anymore if that was the case??  Ya know, cause of the whole mandatory sign-in thing.  Brilliant, we've seen it before with Diablo 3 and SimCity, let's do consoles next.

Then there's no backwards compatibility.  Congratulations, Xbox One, now I have no reason to buy your console right away (assuming I felt like buying this giant VCR-shaped paper-weight) because the library of games over the last 7 years is meaningless!  And with the rate that 360's are bricking (RRoD), then it means that within a couple of years, it'll be nigh impossible to play any 360 games, awesome!!!

Also the used games debacle!  You must pay a fee for each unique console you play a game on.  No longer can you just toss your friend a copy of the game for him to borrow--he has to pay money to play it on his machine too, even if you can't play simultaneously with him.  Again, sticking fingers up the ass of the used game market.  Oh woe is me, I bought a used car, house, furniture, clothes, those are okay.  But video games aren't.  How about you stop making such shitty games and maybe I will actually buy them new instead of used.

Do the math.  Mandatory Kinect + Always Online + No Backwards Compatibility + Death of Used Games = our worst nightmares come true.  I will not be supporting the Xbox One, period.  And the fact is, I bet a lot of you people agree.  But the fact is Microsoft is still part of the console oligopoly.  How long can you hold out until you buy the Xbox One?  Look at the Xbox 360--it's debatably the most mainstream of the three console (at least in North America) because of huge library and tons of other cool features.  If the Xbox One, God forbid, starts to pick up steam after its release (and it will, Microsoft will pimp that out like they did with the Kinect), how long until you cave?  Fact is Microsoft can frankly have their way with you, you can detest it, but in the end, you'll probably give them a little more leeway, "this thing sucks but at least I can play the games I like so I'm okay," etc. etc.  Same thing with Electronic Arts and so forth--how they still continue to look good despite the fact that large swaths of the Internet hate their guts.  "Mass Effect, Battlefield, Madden...okay I'll support EA, but just this once!!!"  Whew, good thing Sonic is staying Nintendo-exclusive after all...

EDIT: Hey, here's another infograph I saw comparing the Xbox One's specs to the PS4:

Yep...stick with the PS4.

Whatever, just one more kick in the balls before I'm through.  I caught this on Kotaku out the corner of my eye.  It's the first revealed screenshot of the new Need for Speed game.

Someone tell me what's wrong here.  If you said "lack of colors" you're absolutely right.  Grey skies, dingy hues, "grungy shaders" (literally, some guy came down from Epic to lecture some artists about shades of brown).  Somehow, being colorful is "gay" while being colorless is "cool, epic, beast mode."  Well, I'd rather be gay than all those other things.  Gay as in "happy" you sick freaks.  I'm out, deuces man...DEUCES.

In case you hadn't seen it before...TV TV TV TV TV TV XBOX WATCH TV TV TV MOVIE TV EXPERIENCE MOVIE TV TV TV SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS SPORT SPORTS TELEVISION TV TELEVISION WATER COOLER TV TV TV CALLOFDUTY CALLOFDUTY CALLOFDUTY CALLOFDUTY DOG CALLOFDUTY CALLOFDUTY DOG CALLOFDUTY 

Announcement About The Future Of This Blog

Hey guys, how are you doing.  It's an okay day for me, kinda tired but this has been on my mind for the last month or so and it must be said.

In the near future, about a month, I'm going to sunset this blog.  Two-and-a-half years and 700+ posts later, it's time to call it quits.  It's become too arduous and trivial to do so here for a multitude of reasons which I will state...:

* I'm a working man now.  I have a legitimate job that's not an internship or other joke of a career.  I'm working 9 hours a day, possibly more in the near future, and after my week, I'm practically burned out after doing that and whatever other things I need to do to take care of my young adult self.  And on top of that, rambling about video games and saying controversial things as someone in the game industry can come back to haunt me, big time.  A few things I've said on this blog could get me fired from my current job.  A while back I caused a mutiny by criticizing a game behind my grad school classmates' back (Plushy Knight) and it caused problems.  I don't want anything like that to happen again.

* There's simply little to nothing going on with Sega anymore.  Well, there is, if you're into cheesy Sonic sequels, more Yakuza, Football Manager, Total War, and the occasional Sega nostalgia piece they toss the fans for a quick buck.  We've worn thin on Daytona 1, 2, Scud Race, OutRun 2, Crazy Taxi, even Sega All-Stars Racing, etc.  Those games aren't going anywhere anymore.  We got the emulators, we got XBL/PSN ports, we got the Hornet in Sega All-Stars Racing, we got a cool new fangame coming up (The 90's Arcade Racer), but other than that, aside from talk about some oldies like Power Drift, Rad Mobile, and Emergency Call Ambulance...we're kinda toast here.

* And as for other things, I can't criticize Need for Speed and Burnout forever.  There's nothing left to say about those franchises that hasn't been said.  It's crap racing all about wrecking expensive cars and terrible cutscenes--it's a done deal and as long as people still piss themselves over it, nothing's going to change about it.  As for things like real-life racing like NASCAR and such, no one really cares, do they?  The sport is awash with phony controversy and regulations, plus when I post about these things, people usually don't read it at all.  So what's the point?

* All great adventures I've embarked on, whether it's Counter-Strike Maps, Super Sprint, posting on various message boards, etc. always have a lifespan.  At first, it's all I ever dream about--wake up, do activity X, think about it in your free time, go to sleep.  But eventually, I just lose interest in it altogether.  And no amount of motivational talk can really get me to work on these things again.  This blog is just a victim of it.  It's getting more painful to write these posts that I reluctantly put them off for too long.  And when I do, the blog just gets more and more disorganized.  Look at sites like UK Resistance and Shenmue Stare--they called it quits eventually so it's not so shocking I do so as well.  Well, better to just call it quits now than force myself to tend to this blog for the two or three serious readers this gets each each day.

* Most of all, I'm starting to realize that this whole infatuation with wanting to work for Sega, meet Yu Suzuki and the AM2 team, and make Daytona USA 3 is a total wash.  It's like a childhood dream you have--you want to assume an extraordinary career like a professional athlete, a musician, or an astronaut.  But when you get older, you realize those things are stupid for numerous reasons--it's incredibly difficult and unlikely you'll ever get that job and once you do, you realize it's not what it's not what you imaged.  After being exposed to the REAL game industry over the last year or so, I now realize how much it actually sucks and how vulnerable I really am.  You have to be some "god among men" like Miyamoto, Suzuki, Kojima, etc. to be heard and even still, who's to say that Daytona USA 3 isn't somehow horribly botched?  It's time to stop pretending I'm on a "mission from God," that's all.

That's...really all there is to say about it.  I still hope great things for Sega, Sumo Digital, racing games, etc. but really, it's time to give it a rest.  I'll get in touch with you guys later but all I have to say is this...  To be this good takes Ages and it's been ages and now I'm good.  Thanks for every subscriber, reader, and good comment that's make this all worthwhile over the years... ;)