I have a bunch of funny car/racing/Sega memes & gifs for you. Found 'em off random websites like GameFAQs, Reddit, every terrible website out there over the years. And since I'm too lazy to make an actual good post, this one's for you!
Because of the large number of pics, you must hit the jump to load the page. Don't want to crash anyone's browsers here.
Showing posts with label Fast and the Furious. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fast and the Furious. Show all posts
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Need For Speed Movie??? Run That Moniker Into The Dirt
Top Gun, 1986 flick featuring Tom Cruise. Thanks for coining this phrase and ruining the face of racing games forever.
I kid of course. I just wonder what the hell is the thought processes of these EA suits other than run the phrase "Need for Speed" up your ass. All of this on the heels of a proposed Need for Speed movie? Really? Michael Bay directed the trailer for The Run so I don't put it past EA. I doubt this'll go through. See what happened to the Bioshock movie, the Halo movie, the God of War movie, yada yada yada. And even if a NFS movie were made, what would it be like? It would look like this, don't kid yourself:
At :40, the words "Outrun Everyone" appear on the screen...BLASPHEMY AGAINST SEGA!!!
But anyway, I wanted to talk about Need for Speed in general. It's not Split-Second/Burnout bad but it's getting there. Don't get me wrong, it's a decent set of games but here's my opinion of the series all this time. And if you're a NFS diehard, you may agree:
I see Need for Speed as a spoiled only child with rich parents. He gets what he wants without question. Because NFS is so pimped out, it's become the "go-to" arcade/sim racer of this generation even if most of the content is rehashed with each release. EA with their $2 billion warchest buys out everything, including people!
EDIT: I'm dead serious when I say EA has that $2 billion warchest. EDIT AGAIN: I wrote down the wrong number, wow I was way off, sorry. Well, that's according to my FIEA professors that know the inner workings of EA. Saving it for a rainy day I suppose. For those of you hoping for EA's demise, well they ain't going away any time soon...
Underground (2003)
Underground 2 (2004)
Underground Rivals (2005)
Most Wanted (2005)
Carbon (2006)
ProStreet (2007)
Undercover (2009)
Nitro (2009)
Shift (2009)
World (2010)
Nitro-X (2010)
Hot Pursuit (2010)
Shift 2 (2011)
The Run (2011)
To be fair, Shift 1 and 2 don't deserve to be there. They're so much different in nature to the others in the series. They were both developed by the racing-dedicated Slightly Mad Studios right out of London, England. Obviously, someone had to publish their game so EA was willing to do so...as long as they tacked on the "Need for Speed" phrase to their title, hence the series became known as "Need for Speed: Shift." Kind of like what Activision did with Modern Warfare 2/3. Since the words "Call of Duty" resonate far more with gamers than "Modern Warfare," they appended the phrase to their games.
How typical of big publishers to pimp out the buzzwords of their game titles. Like take Guitar Hero. It was inferior to Rock Band (don't argue with me) but sold more copies purely because of the words "Guitar Hero." And there you go--now you know why Shift was absorbed into the NFS family against its will.
EA also included in the contract "Put a drifting BMW on the cover with fancy visual effects--don't question us."
And here's what I want to talk about. The production value of NFS games has always been solid though the quality has been lukewarm at best. With the lone exception of Criterion's Hot Pursuit, not one NFS has reached "elite" status like other heavy-hitters such as Forza and Mario Kart. And why is that?
I believe Need for Speed is in an identity crisis. The first few NFS games were simple--drive a sports car through exotic landscapes. Then they added police chases--that's fine by me. Then they introduced the street tuner/ricer aspects in Underground. Then they decided to go balls out with urban/highway racing as they introduce lousy cutscenes ripped out of a Fast & Furious flick, recycle the same mediocre arcade/simulation car handling, add tons of explosions, slap the BMW/Audi/Mustang on the cover and call it a day. It feels hackneyed due to its forceful adherence to trends or what's "cool" at the time of release. It's good at getting highlights on the gaming websites/magazines but after that, what do you have? More of the same old, same old.
Also I'd like to mention the car handling which is really what makes or breaks a racing game. What's with the handling? I've played from Underground to The Run and in every experience, it's this abnormal mix between arcade and sim handling (read about my The Run experience). Car handling isn't as responsive as I'd expect. I don't get it because I thought NFS was supposed to be a mainstream game so why is it so annoying to play? I'd take Forza or Mario Kart any day of the week when it comes to pure racing. EDIT: Of course, Shift 1/2 may be different but I've barely played those...I should get around to it soon.
I also noticed something about NFS. I recently looked up clips of this arcade version. Compare it side-by-side with other hallmark "street racer" titles. Do they look the same? Yes they do. So derivative it's insulting.
Need for Speed by EA
Fast & the Furious by Raw Thrills
Dead Heat by Namco
R-Tuned by Sega...my reaction to this game:
Am I being harsh? I don't know, I'm just shooting from the hip here. Trying to understand what the heck's going on with Need for Speed. It's as if cutting-edge sports cars and massive production values can overcome all other shortcomings with the games. Like I said, I know there's some NFS fans out there and I would like to know their take on all this. The massive quantity of NFS games...is this necessarily a good thing? Hey, just ask Sega fans if they think all these Sonic games was a good thing (Sega is Sonic's pimp). A NFS movie, does this bother you in the slightest?
I said before that, as a programmer coming out of grad school, I refuse to work at Electronic Arts. But maybe, JUST MAYBE I'd work for them under one condition--let me help you with Need for Speed. And I'm not talking "sit there and program useless crap"--I mean let's talk turkey. I'll be the producer who rights the ship. It's driving me nuts and I want to help racing games save face nowadays. Though this'll never happen so give up on EA while you're at it people.
Oh EA...you're beyond therapy at this point.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Merry Christmas, Now Go Buy OutRun Online Arcade NOW
Hi guys, I'm sorry I didn't make an "official" Christmas post but I've been fading in and out for the last few days. I also got sidewinded by Nagoshi and football stuff. Overall, it wasn't a great Christmas: there weren't a whole lot of Christmas lights around but at the mall, they added a San Francisco Rush 2049 arcade machine (with a screen tinted green...someone please fix that) and the Fast & Furious twin cabinet was broken. HAHA! Otherwise, the time leading up to it wasn't that much fun but at least I got to spend time with friends and family so that is good.
Now I was going to say this earlier but I planned this for now. This is my plea:
For everyone who has an Xbox 360, please go buy OutRun Online Arcade. You have until Dec 31 to buy it. That gives you two days to do it. Then the game will be removed from the marketplace due to an expiry with the Ferrari license.
Go here to download the game (if you're too lazy to download off your console)...the price has been fluctuating between 400 and 800 MSP but oh well. IT IS WORTH EVERY PENNY. Also, if you're feeling extra generous, be sure to download the gamer pics and BG themes!! Get these before they're gone forever!
Now about the game being removed from the marketplace. A common misconception is that you won't be able to play the game after it's not on the marketplace. This is not true. As long as the game remains on your hard drive, you can play it "forever." Essentially what happens is that the game still remains on the marketplace servers and you can redownload it as many times as you want ASSUMING you purchased the game before Dec 31. Same thing applies to a few old Midway game I purchased: Paperboy and Root Beer Tapper. I can still play those even though they've been delisted years ago.
It's like a club and the only way you can get in is if you buy a ticket before the deadline so buy that ticket (to ride) now!
And I know some people may not be as interested in racing games, but this game's a blast. Dashing gameplay, Ferraris, colorful environments, uplifting music, and hot babes. It's a therapeutic game, even if you only play it for just an hour. It'll change your life. It changed mine!
YouTube comments: "best 800 points ive ever spent" and "This title is actually worth the 800 points..I loved the original on the master system.. brings back so many memories!" Well said.
Now I'll post a few extra pics to try to convince you otherwise:
Now I was going to say this earlier but I planned this for now. This is my plea:
For everyone who has an Xbox 360, please go buy OutRun Online Arcade. You have until Dec 31 to buy it. That gives you two days to do it. Then the game will be removed from the marketplace due to an expiry with the Ferrari license.
Go here to download the game (if you're too lazy to download off your console)...the price has been fluctuating between 400 and 800 MSP but oh well. IT IS WORTH EVERY PENNY. Also, if you're feeling extra generous, be sure to download the gamer pics and BG themes!! Get these before they're gone forever!
Now about the game being removed from the marketplace. A common misconception is that you won't be able to play the game after it's not on the marketplace. This is not true. As long as the game remains on your hard drive, you can play it "forever." Essentially what happens is that the game still remains on the marketplace servers and you can redownload it as many times as you want ASSUMING you purchased the game before Dec 31. Same thing applies to a few old Midway game I purchased: Paperboy and Root Beer Tapper. I can still play those even though they've been delisted years ago.
It's like a club and the only way you can get in is if you buy a ticket before the deadline so buy that ticket (to ride) now!
And I know some people may not be as interested in racing games, but this game's a blast. Dashing gameplay, Ferraris, colorful environments, uplifting music, and hot babes. It's a therapeutic game, even if you only play it for just an hour. It'll change your life. It changed mine!
YouTube comments: "best 800 points ive ever spent" and "This title is actually worth the 800 points..I loved the original on the master system.. brings back so many memories!" Well said.
Now I'll post a few extra pics to try to convince you otherwise:
Dec 31 . My stratagy to sell sega Racing Games is working!! Now you know hwy I have the most wwebsite as on the internet. so go put on your big boy hat and Play Outrun Online Arcade . peace out =)
Supplemental Reading.
Supplemental Reading.
Friday, December 23, 2011
Happy Festivus 2.0
It's December 23 which is Festivus worldwide. Now my (second) Airing of Grievances, this time on events from the year Twenty Eleven:
MICROSOFT SUCKS -- Cause they continue to ram the Kinect up our asses and it will always suck and nothing can change my mind.
NINTENDO SUCKS -- 3DS is overrated and cause Link keeps winning the GameFAQs character contests and it's beyond stupid at this point.
NAMCO SUCKS -- Ridge Racer Unbounded is trash and RR Vita is incredibly lacking (five cars and three tracks???????????).
SONY SUCKS -- They got hacked and couldn't do anything about it.
ELECTRONIC ARTS SUCKS -- What "unique" games have they made besides Madden and other perennial sports titles? EDIT: FYI, Mass Effect, Battlefield, and even NFS: The Run were made by separate studios. Also, Origin is spyware, you noobs.
CAPCOM SUCKS -- Cause they don't like racing games, that's why. And they couldn't be arsed into putting MEGA MAN in MvC3 (this offends me even as a non-Capcom fan).
SKYRIM SUCKS -- Overrated, buggy, time-consuming trash.
BATTLEFIELD SUCKS -- I just don't care, lol.
CALL OF DUTY SUCKS -- MW3 is bad, rofl.
WORLD OF WARCRAFT SUCKS -- This game will always suck and its dwindling players shows...
NEED FOR SPEED SUCKS -- RUN JACK RUN FROM THE POLICE AND THE ONCOMING TRAIN!!!
BURNOUT SUCKS -- It just does.
FAST & THE FURIOUS SUCKS -- You're killing arcades with this trash!!!
GAME INFORMER SUCKS -- They trashed OutRun 2 but loved Burnout Crash, UNEXCUSEABLE.
OFFICIAL XBOX MAGAZINE SUCKS -- Horrible Daytona USA review.
SPIKE TV SUCKS -- Turning gaming into an advertising cesspool and teabagging the guy in front of Shigeru Miyamoto.
G4TV SUCKS -- I don't know what they did wrong but I'm fairly certain Adam Sessler said something stupid.
REDDIT GAMING SUCKS -- Too many stupid ass Advice Animal memes.
TOSHIHIRO NAGOSHI SUCKS -- What has he done lately but make another studio for Yakuza games?
GAMEFAQS SUCKS -- Damn do I hate this website. Every board is either run by absolute buffoons/trolls or picky moderators.
FIEA SUCKS -- How was a game about an anime-style teddy bear wielding a sword chosen over the sweet racing game I suggested?
AMERICAN IDOL SUCKS -- I hate this show.
DISNEY WORLD SUCKS -- Everything is overpriced there.
NFL REFEREES SUCK -- Officiating has been horrible all year. Finally someone calls the zebras out (and gets picked up on live TV) and then he gets penalized again. What BS, this is the No Fun League now. I swear, if the Saints get cheated out of a game by one of these phantom calls, I'm going to lose my s***.
I suddenly like the St. Louis Rams now (after the Saints debacle earlier this year).
VIDEO GAMES SUCK - They're a waste of your time. So why do I plan on making these very time-wasters for a living? Same reason people make porn or sell drugs, cause they're STUPID.
Sega, however, does not suck. Just when I thought you couldn't get any stupider...you find a way to totally redeem yourself!!!! (Daytona USA)
YOU ALL STINK!!!
Time now for the Feats of Strength. Until you (FnF fanboys) pin me to the ground, Festivus is not over. YOU WANNA PIECE OF ME??? YOU GOT IT!!!
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Racing Games In Decline Pt. 2: Real World Relevance
As I said in my previous post, I'm upset that my call to arms about making a racing game failed at school. Failed miserably especially since I was misled by many people into believing I did a good job but I really didn't.
Look, one of the things I mentioned in my presentation was that many racing games are just plain "mediocre." They try to go for realism but end up boring everyone. Or they try to go for arcade style but in the end are too shallow, ridiculous, or have little to do with actual racing. So let's try to take the good parts of racing games and make something great. Something Daytona-like (without harping on that point for long). I also aimed to make a colorful game that had cool tracks and stuff, just like in Scud Race, Daytona 2, and OutRun 2. A truly "exciting" game.
Many racing games are completely oblivious to this. They keep making bomb after bomb after bomb racing games. Split/Second sucked. Blur failed miserably. Fuel was a joke. Motorstorm made me want to punch a baby. And now we have Daytona USA, Sega Rally, and OutRun 2 on XBL and they will all wither away very soon.
So why is it that so many racing games, regardless of whether or not the game is actually good, fail? I wouldn't have posted this if my game pitch succeeded but it didn't so now here goes. CONSIDER THIS AN OPINION PIECE. It may be true, it may not, I don't know, you figure it out...:
Racing games are dead. They're not in a state of inflation but instead deflation. They were once a great genre years ago but now they are a laughing stock. There will always be a few people who like racing games (like you, me, and 17 other people in the world) but most won't like 'em and never will. This isn't necessarily a bad thing (I don't want racers to be whored out like MMO's or FPSes) but when you have so underwhelming support, this is bad.
So why are racing games failing? Let us go back to the birth of video games. Back in the Atari days. Now games back then were incredibly simple. Most involved moving dots around the screen. There wasn't much to do with them. So some wise guy got the idea to make one of those dots a car. Driving a car was a primitive idea that perfectly fit the "move stuff around" motif. Some of the first racing games were Space Race (1973), Speed Race (1974), and Gran Trak 10 (also 1974). So it's like you're driving a car around the screen, cool!!! See the Wikipedia page on racing games for more details.
And this game was in 1977...imagine how much worse it was a few years earlier than that.
Well, fast forward to the 80's and 90's. Racing games are still around. Arcades were able to capitalize on the racing genre by including their own unique hardware in the form of wheels, pedals, and seats. They were somewhat "iconic" like the DDR or the Time Crisis machine. Every arcade needed at least one driving game to get by.
But with the technology getting better, that means that more genres are popping up. Games aren't just limited to 2-D overhead/side-scrollers anymore. You were getting all sorts of cool 3D games. It was nice to see racers in 3D but it wasn't really that good for the genre. It meant that a bevy of new types of games popped up, particularly massive story-based games like we see today. Games were more popular than ever before hence less emphasis has been placed on pure gameplay/skill and more on cinematics and production. Anything shiny and cool sells nowadays, so visuals trump gameplay. Also, arcades died and so the unique peripherals went with it. Yeah sure, you can run to the store and buy a racing wheel for the 360/PS3 but who's buying them?
Racing games have hardly any legs to stand on anymore. The only reason they are still around was because of tradition's sake (racing games were a very early genre) and because there's always a few car buffs around. No way a racing game can stand face to face with the likes of Call of Duty, Zelda, Mass Effect, all those shiny pretty games.
Honestly, whenever I look at whatever few racing games remain, I see total desperation. Need for Speed: The Run is basically a car game with tons of cutscenes, advertising, and gimmicks. Split/Second, Burnout, and Motorstorm have completely given up on racing altogether, narrowing in on the crashing aspect to such an asinine level. And arcade racers like Fast & the Furious are just so dumbed down that any schmuck with a dollar to waste will play it and leave feeling just as empty on the inside as before. Just a bunch of mush.
The only racing game that is truly successful is Mario Kart and that's because it's a Nintendo title--pure and simple. If Sega tried to make a game like Mario Kart, it would only be a one-hundredths as successful...yeah, they released Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing which had a few flaws but was really good. But now it's toast and is not likely we'll get a sequel any time soon. Then there's Forza and Gran Turismo which is still going strong but is only really popular among car aficiandos, not necessary among the "racing" populace that is. There's also Grand Theft Auto which has lots of driving in it although it is not technically a "racing" game either.
If I'm wrong about the racing genre, then prove me wrong! I don't see racing games going on this massive upswing any time soon. That is, as long as people keep copying the failed ideas of Burnout & Split/Second.
Can racing games make a comeback? Or are they destined to...burnout? HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Debbie Downer.
TLDR: Racing was one of gaming's oldest genres as well as an integral part of the arcade scene. However, the expansion of technolog, shift towards cinematics, and death of arcades have left racing behind in favor of high-production action/adventure games. Modern racing games are reaching for absurd designs in an attempt to legitimize the genre with little success and that is sad.
Look, one of the things I mentioned in my presentation was that many racing games are just plain "mediocre." They try to go for realism but end up boring everyone. Or they try to go for arcade style but in the end are too shallow, ridiculous, or have little to do with actual racing. So let's try to take the good parts of racing games and make something great. Something Daytona-like (without harping on that point for long). I also aimed to make a colorful game that had cool tracks and stuff, just like in Scud Race, Daytona 2, and OutRun 2. A truly "exciting" game.
Many racing games are completely oblivious to this. They keep making bomb after bomb after bomb racing games. Split/Second sucked. Blur failed miserably. Fuel was a joke. Motorstorm made me want to punch a baby. And now we have Daytona USA, Sega Rally, and OutRun 2 on XBL and they will all wither away very soon.
So why is it that so many racing games, regardless of whether or not the game is actually good, fail? I wouldn't have posted this if my game pitch succeeded but it didn't so now here goes. CONSIDER THIS AN OPINION PIECE. It may be true, it may not, I don't know, you figure it out...:
Racing games are dead. They're not in a state of inflation but instead deflation. They were once a great genre years ago but now they are a laughing stock. There will always be a few people who like racing games (like you, me, and 17 other people in the world) but most won't like 'em and never will. This isn't necessarily a bad thing (I don't want racers to be whored out like MMO's or FPSes) but when you have so underwhelming support, this is bad.
So why are racing games failing? Let us go back to the birth of video games. Back in the Atari days. Now games back then were incredibly simple. Most involved moving dots around the screen. There wasn't much to do with them. So some wise guy got the idea to make one of those dots a car. Driving a car was a primitive idea that perfectly fit the "move stuff around" motif. Some of the first racing games were Space Race (1973), Speed Race (1974), and Gran Trak 10 (also 1974). So it's like you're driving a car around the screen, cool!!! See the Wikipedia page on racing games for more details.
And this game was in 1977...imagine how much worse it was a few years earlier than that.
Well, fast forward to the 80's and 90's. Racing games are still around. Arcades were able to capitalize on the racing genre by including their own unique hardware in the form of wheels, pedals, and seats. They were somewhat "iconic" like the DDR or the Time Crisis machine. Every arcade needed at least one driving game to get by.
But with the technology getting better, that means that more genres are popping up. Games aren't just limited to 2-D overhead/side-scrollers anymore. You were getting all sorts of cool 3D games. It was nice to see racers in 3D but it wasn't really that good for the genre. It meant that a bevy of new types of games popped up, particularly massive story-based games like we see today. Games were more popular than ever before hence less emphasis has been placed on pure gameplay/skill and more on cinematics and production. Anything shiny and cool sells nowadays, so visuals trump gameplay. Also, arcades died and so the unique peripherals went with it. Yeah sure, you can run to the store and buy a racing wheel for the 360/PS3 but who's buying them?
Racing games have hardly any legs to stand on anymore. The only reason they are still around was because of tradition's sake (racing games were a very early genre) and because there's always a few car buffs around. No way a racing game can stand face to face with the likes of Call of Duty, Zelda, Mass Effect, all those shiny pretty games.
Honestly, whenever I look at whatever few racing games remain, I see total desperation. Need for Speed: The Run is basically a car game with tons of cutscenes, advertising, and gimmicks. Split/Second, Burnout, and Motorstorm have completely given up on racing altogether, narrowing in on the crashing aspect to such an asinine level. And arcade racers like Fast & the Furious are just so dumbed down that any schmuck with a dollar to waste will play it and leave feeling just as empty on the inside as before. Just a bunch of mush.
The only racing game that is truly successful is Mario Kart and that's because it's a Nintendo title--pure and simple. If Sega tried to make a game like Mario Kart, it would only be a one-hundredths as successful...yeah, they released Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing which had a few flaws but was really good. But now it's toast and is not likely we'll get a sequel any time soon. Then there's Forza and Gran Turismo which is still going strong but is only really popular among car aficiandos, not necessary among the "racing" populace that is. There's also Grand Theft Auto which has lots of driving in it although it is not technically a "racing" game either.
If I'm wrong about the racing genre, then prove me wrong! I don't see racing games going on this massive upswing any time soon. That is, as long as people keep copying the failed ideas of Burnout & Split/Second.
Can racing games make a comeback? Or are they destined to...burnout? HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Debbie Downer.
TLDR: Racing was one of gaming's oldest genres as well as an integral part of the arcade scene. However, the expansion of technolog, shift towards cinematics, and death of arcades have left racing behind in favor of high-production action/adventure games. Modern racing games are reaching for absurd designs in an attempt to legitimize the genre with little success and that is sad.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Spending Time With Family, Saints, Go-Karts, Ghost Squad, F***in' Fast & Furious, Disney Sucks
First of all, this was a good weekend because I had no homework and my parents drove over to Orlando to spend a few days with me. But let's get to the Saints next.
I'm going to be like Joe Beningo here in a few minutes so little kids, please cover your ears. All I have to say is that thank the Lord that I didn't actually see this Saints vs. Rams game on TV (I instead watched NFL.com updates). Because this has to be the MOST EMBARASSING DISPLAY I have ever glazed upon in my life. No excuses to lose this game. What a disgrace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There are two types of teams in the NFL. Teams that should win and teams that shouldn't. The Saints are a good team (I think so, anyway). They should be in charge of their destiny. There's a reason the Rams were 0-6, because THEY STINK!!! They had their backup QB in!!! And then the Saints go to St. Louis and do what all dumb teams do and that is suck ass. F***ing suck ass.
Compare the Saints to the Packers. Let's just get this out of the way now--the Packers are probably going undefeated and are getting the #1 seed. Why? Because the Packers ARE WINNING GAMES THAT THEY SHOULD BE WINNING. The Saints aren't. And don't give me this "the team has to lose to learn to play better" nonsense since that just means they are undisciplined in the first place. This sequence of "embarrassing" Saints losses goes back to last year when the Saints blew the games to the Cardinals, Browns, and Seahawks (first team to lose to a sub .500 postseason team, choke away 10-point lead, humiliating Marshawn Lynch replay). Shame on you guys. The Saints should've played with fire under their asses in order to keep up with other NFC teams but they look like they didn't give two s***s about it.
Oh, BTW, you know how awesome it was that ESPN gave the 62-7 victory over the Colts zero air time? Well, expect ESPN to run a million stories about the Saints' 31-21 chokejob (most of those were garbage points) loss to the Rams with stories like "SEE I TOLD YOU SOOO SAINTS ARE ONE-AND-DONE ROFL" and "FALCONS WILL WIN NFC SOUTH CAUSE THEY HAVE MATT RYAN AND RODDY WHITE, TWO GREATEST PLAYARS EVER HAHAHA." Good work, Saints. Enjoy the embarassment. Just suck it in and feel good about yourselves. Really good.
And also don't give me this "Rams were playing passionate football," or "parity exists in the NFL" crap because it also applies to the Saints too. If the Rams were playing tough, then the Saints should've played tough too. AT WORST the game should've been tied by the half, but no. The Saints scored ZERO POINTS in the first half. That is completely indefensible. You all are incredibly mediocre and deserve ZERO credit for today. Sean Payton should take a paddle and just whip everyone with it. Even Drew Brees since he's been throwing lots of dumb interceptions lately. Seriously, just beat their asses with it.
This reminds me...I've said this before (in the Call of Duty: Max Performance post) that the day you underestimate the competition, you will LOSE. Don't care if it's some dumb kids on XBL or your mom, you give it 100% all the f'n time. This is true especially in professional sports. Consider that a wounded animal WILL fight back when threatened. Rams may be winless but they will get desperate at some point. So you let 'em off the hook. Good work Saints for playing down to the competition!
And bear in mind that the Saints lost to a franchise that put out this video instructing its fans on "how to cheer" during the game. Really? This is absurd.
Seems like ever since "HAKIM DROPS THE BALL!!", the Rams have been the Saints' kryptonite. Cause this is the second time a winless Rams team has gotten its first win against the Saints. Sweet Jesus, this is bad. So bad and I won't hold back. I'm not going to "bail" from this team cause I still bleed black & gold but dammit I am just gonna call it like I see it. Especially when I'm trying to enjoy time with my parents.
Know for a fact that someone will post this eventually so let's get it out of the way now. And Rams fans, don't take this personally. I'm mad at my team, that's about it. There's still time for us to peak during the playoffs but enjoy playing on the road! Geez.
Hey, it could be worse. At least I'm not a Rangers fan. Otherwise, I would be hospitalized right about now.
------------
Okay, now I've gotten that train wreck out of the way, let's talk about what happened in real life. On Sunday, me and my family are traveling down International Drive in Kississimee, FL., the big line of attractions/tourist traps near Disney & Universal Studios. And we're looking for a go-kart track to drive on. We find this three story wooden go-kart track and it was fun. Just like the ones in Pigeon Forge, TN. DAMN was the ride bumpy as I bobbed all over the place on those poor wooden planks which ate my dirt. But, nonetheless, I continued on. I lapped everyone too. Kids were driving slow so I cut them off...all without bumping into them, of course! Otherwise, those bums would've yelled and me and dragged me off the premises for "threatening to kill everyone." No one's allowed to have fun anymore.
There was also an arcade at this place. The arcade was decent--that is, if you enjoy Fast and the Furious very much. I counted TWO Fast & Furious bike cabinets, FOUR Fast & Furious Drift cabinets, and THREE Deluxe Fast & Furious cabinets? I mean, s***, do you really need THAT MANY FAST & FURIOUS GAMES??? No one was playing these games too. Also, just for the lulz, I saw that one of the deluxe cabinets was missing a brake. And none of them had manual gear shifters. Not like you need either of those things, HAHA!!! Seriously, I think I have more fun picking lint out of my pockets than I do playing this game.
The arcade did have Ghost Squad (2004) there and I played it for about six minutes. I wasted two credits on it cause I accidentally shot the hostages (well I didn't know you had to hold the "special" button!). Seriously, what an interesting game. I played that cabin level and it was neat. The machine gun controller was cooler than the traditional pistol weapon. Main problem is that the screen wasn't in good shape...it was faded and the attract screen logo was burned in there too. The same thing can be said about the 18 Wheeler game right adjacent to it. So is it just me or is EVERY Sega arcade cabinet in poor condition??? Does anyone even bother with these arcade games anymore???
And why oh why does there have to be a Guitar Hero cabinet at the arcade too??? Do we really need MORE GUITAR HERO GAMES??? Go away, Raw Thrills, just...go away. Can't take it anymore. Friggin Fast and Furious & Guitar Hero in every arcade. Well, at least we got Daytona 1/2, Scud Race, OutRun 2, etc. at home so it's not too bad.
I should mention there was a twin Sega Race TV cabinet there too and I played through it just once. It was just as mediocre as my first experience was. Game still makes zero sense to me this time. I picked the Plymouth Hemi Cuda which has low top speed which meant that the AI would just sidle up to me near the finish line so I lost that way. Man, this game is pissing me off too.
------------
Oh, and it gets even better! So me and my family decide to go to Downtown Disney. It's this boardwalk-style attraction with a bunch of stores with blaring Radio Disney tunes (including Aaron Carter who is apparently still relevant) everywhere. We checked out the Lego store they had. Nice store, but no Xalax Lego Racers so no dice--Lego sucks now. Yeah sure, just make a bunch of Lego dragons & Toy Story characters and we'll be on good terms--ooookay. Then they had all these purple lit-up bars with dubstep music. Another EPAC FAIL LOLOLOLLO. And this "section" of Downtown Disney was called "Pleasure Island." Geez, hide the kids. Cause I imagine there was booze and hookers all around there.
Then I discover this store (or section of a store) called Ridemakerz. Yes, it has a "z" on the end. And you go there to make your own RC car. Oooooo, gotta check it out! So you pick up a plastic frame for your car (it's about a foot long & six inches wide), give it to the guy, and he outfits it with parts. I picked a blue & white stock car. Oh hell yes, after all these years, I finally get a "decent" RC car to play with. Should be fun to drive around FIEA and whatnot.
So I read somewhere on the shelf that each car costs $22 at bare minimum. I'm not interested in purchasing the shiny rims or the red tires--I just want a normal RC car shaped like a standard stock car. Guy puts the thing together and says "Would you like a remote control with that?" and I'm like "Huh?" The remote control is an "optional" accessory that costs an extra $25. Wait, so I was about to buy an RC car without a controller?? What the f***ing s*** is that all about? So the price of my car just doubled from $25 to $50. Oh silly me, I thought I was getting a good deal on something at Disney World. HA, forget about it. So I just left after waiting for 15+ minutes. Hate this crap. TBQH, the car actually looked pretty good so it's a damn shame I had to give it up. Maybe for $40, I'd give in but $50 is too much.
Anyway, I kissed my mom and dad goodbye and now I'm back at home, ready to take on the world by myself once again. Thanks Saints, thanks Fast & Furious, thanks Disney for ALMOST ruining my day.
I'm going to be like Joe Beningo here in a few minutes so little kids, please cover your ears. All I have to say is that thank the Lord that I didn't actually see this Saints vs. Rams game on TV (I instead watched NFL.com updates). Because this has to be the MOST EMBARASSING DISPLAY I have ever glazed upon in my life. No excuses to lose this game. What a disgrace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There are two types of teams in the NFL. Teams that should win and teams that shouldn't. The Saints are a good team (I think so, anyway). They should be in charge of their destiny. There's a reason the Rams were 0-6, because THEY STINK!!! They had their backup QB in!!! And then the Saints go to St. Louis and do what all dumb teams do and that is suck ass. F***ing suck ass.
Compare the Saints to the Packers. Let's just get this out of the way now--the Packers are probably going undefeated and are getting the #1 seed. Why? Because the Packers ARE WINNING GAMES THAT THEY SHOULD BE WINNING. The Saints aren't. And don't give me this "the team has to lose to learn to play better" nonsense since that just means they are undisciplined in the first place. This sequence of "embarrassing" Saints losses goes back to last year when the Saints blew the games to the Cardinals, Browns, and Seahawks (first team to lose to a sub .500 postseason team, choke away 10-point lead, humiliating Marshawn Lynch replay). Shame on you guys. The Saints should've played with fire under their asses in order to keep up with other NFC teams but they look like they didn't give two s***s about it.
Oh, BTW, you know how awesome it was that ESPN gave the 62-7 victory over the Colts zero air time? Well, expect ESPN to run a million stories about the Saints' 31-21 chokejob (most of those were garbage points) loss to the Rams with stories like "SEE I TOLD YOU SOOO SAINTS ARE ONE-AND-DONE ROFL" and "FALCONS WILL WIN NFC SOUTH CAUSE THEY HAVE MATT RYAN AND RODDY WHITE, TWO GREATEST PLAYARS EVER HAHAHA." Good work, Saints. Enjoy the embarassment. Just suck it in and feel good about yourselves. Really good.
Man-crush on Tony Gonzales!!!
And also don't give me this "Rams were playing passionate football," or "parity exists in the NFL" crap because it also applies to the Saints too. If the Rams were playing tough, then the Saints should've played tough too. AT WORST the game should've been tied by the half, but no. The Saints scored ZERO POINTS in the first half. That is completely indefensible. You all are incredibly mediocre and deserve ZERO credit for today. Sean Payton should take a paddle and just whip everyone with it. Even Drew Brees since he's been throwing lots of dumb interceptions lately. Seriously, just beat their asses with it.
Or maybe a ruler, you know...keeping with the Catholic theme.
This reminds me...I've said this before (in the Call of Duty: Max Performance post) that the day you underestimate the competition, you will LOSE. Don't care if it's some dumb kids on XBL or your mom, you give it 100% all the f'n time. This is true especially in professional sports. Consider that a wounded animal WILL fight back when threatened. Rams may be winless but they will get desperate at some point. So you let 'em off the hook. Good work Saints for playing down to the competition!
And bear in mind that the Saints lost to a franchise that put out this video instructing its fans on "how to cheer" during the game. Really? This is absurd.
Seems like ever since "HAKIM DROPS THE BALL!!", the Rams have been the Saints' kryptonite. Cause this is the second time a winless Rams team has gotten its first win against the Saints. Sweet Jesus, this is bad. So bad and I won't hold back. I'm not going to "bail" from this team cause I still bleed black & gold but dammit I am just gonna call it like I see it. Especially when I'm trying to enjoy time with my parents.
Know for a fact that someone will post this eventually so let's get it out of the way now. And Rams fans, don't take this personally. I'm mad at my team, that's about it. There's still time for us to peak during the playoffs but enjoy playing on the road! Geez.
Hey, it could be worse. At least I'm not a Rangers fan. Otherwise, I would be hospitalized right about now.
------------
Okay, now I've gotten that train wreck out of the way, let's talk about what happened in real life. On Sunday, me and my family are traveling down International Drive in Kississimee, FL., the big line of attractions/tourist traps near Disney & Universal Studios. And we're looking for a go-kart track to drive on. We find this three story wooden go-kart track and it was fun. Just like the ones in Pigeon Forge, TN. DAMN was the ride bumpy as I bobbed all over the place on those poor wooden planks which ate my dirt. But, nonetheless, I continued on. I lapped everyone too. Kids were driving slow so I cut them off...all without bumping into them, of course! Otherwise, those bums would've yelled and me and dragged me off the premises for "threatening to kill everyone." No one's allowed to have fun anymore.
There was also an arcade at this place. The arcade was decent--that is, if you enjoy Fast and the Furious very much. I counted TWO Fast & Furious bike cabinets, FOUR Fast & Furious Drift cabinets, and THREE Deluxe Fast & Furious cabinets? I mean, s***, do you really need THAT MANY FAST & FURIOUS GAMES??? No one was playing these games too. Also, just for the lulz, I saw that one of the deluxe cabinets was missing a brake. And none of them had manual gear shifters. Not like you need either of those things, HAHA!!! Seriously, I think I have more fun picking lint out of my pockets than I do playing this game.
The arcade did have Ghost Squad (2004) there and I played it for about six minutes. I wasted two credits on it cause I accidentally shot the hostages (well I didn't know you had to hold the "special" button!). Seriously, what an interesting game. I played that cabin level and it was neat. The machine gun controller was cooler than the traditional pistol weapon. Main problem is that the screen wasn't in good shape...it was faded and the attract screen logo was burned in there too. The same thing can be said about the 18 Wheeler game right adjacent to it. So is it just me or is EVERY Sega arcade cabinet in poor condition??? Does anyone even bother with these arcade games anymore???
And why oh why does there have to be a Guitar Hero cabinet at the arcade too??? Do we really need MORE GUITAR HERO GAMES??? Go away, Raw Thrills, just...go away. Can't take it anymore. Friggin Fast and Furious & Guitar Hero in every arcade. Well, at least we got Daytona 1/2, Scud Race, OutRun 2, etc. at home so it's not too bad.
I should mention there was a twin Sega Race TV cabinet there too and I played through it just once. It was just as mediocre as my first experience was. Game still makes zero sense to me this time. I picked the Plymouth Hemi Cuda which has low top speed which meant that the AI would just sidle up to me near the finish line so I lost that way. Man, this game is pissing me off too.
------------
Oh, and it gets even better! So me and my family decide to go to Downtown Disney. It's this boardwalk-style attraction with a bunch of stores with blaring Radio Disney tunes (including Aaron Carter who is apparently still relevant) everywhere. We checked out the Lego store they had. Nice store, but no Xalax Lego Racers so no dice--Lego sucks now. Yeah sure, just make a bunch of Lego dragons & Toy Story characters and we'll be on good terms--ooookay. Then they had all these purple lit-up bars with dubstep music. Another EPAC FAIL LOLOLOLLO. And this "section" of Downtown Disney was called "Pleasure Island." Geez, hide the kids. Cause I imagine there was booze and hookers all around there.
Then I discover this store (or section of a store) called Ridemakerz. Yes, it has a "z" on the end. And you go there to make your own RC car. Oooooo, gotta check it out! So you pick up a plastic frame for your car (it's about a foot long & six inches wide), give it to the guy, and he outfits it with parts. I picked a blue & white stock car. Oh hell yes, after all these years, I finally get a "decent" RC car to play with. Should be fun to drive around FIEA and whatnot.
So I read somewhere on the shelf that each car costs $22 at bare minimum. I'm not interested in purchasing the shiny rims or the red tires--I just want a normal RC car shaped like a standard stock car. Guy puts the thing together and says "Would you like a remote control with that?" and I'm like "Huh?" The remote control is an "optional" accessory that costs an extra $25. Wait, so I was about to buy an RC car without a controller?? What the f***ing s*** is that all about? So the price of my car just doubled from $25 to $50. Oh silly me, I thought I was getting a good deal on something at Disney World. HA, forget about it. So I just left after waiting for 15+ minutes. Hate this crap. TBQH, the car actually looked pretty good so it's a damn shame I had to give it up. Maybe for $40, I'd give in but $50 is too much.
Anyway, I kissed my mom and dad goodbye and now I'm back at home, ready to take on the world by myself once again. Thanks Saints, thanks Fast & Furious, thanks Disney for ALMOST ruining my day.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
I Got Burnout & Fast And Furious Pegged, Ladies And Gentlemen!
But first, a new trailer for Burnout Crash. I don't recommend that you watch this, but it's too late for you:
Losing vital signs...I NEED MEDICATION!!
But really, if waving your hands around destroys a city, might as well make a Godzilla/King Kong game so what's the difference? You're not even using driving motions in this game. What a sad little game. Once again, WHAT WERE THEY THINKING???
------------
Alright, now that we got that wacky little monstrosity out of the way, let's talk about Burnout, Fast and Furious, all those games I like to bash and why they're so popular. The answer seems obvious, but let me tell you how I see it.
When people play games, there's multiple reasons as to why they do some. Some do it to solve puzzles. Some do it to explore an environment. Some do it to unravel a story. Some do it to socialize with friends. Some do it to create a work of art.
But you know what the main reason for games is nowadays? To feel powerful. That's why some of the most critically acclaimed & top sellers are basically action-adventures, FPSes, and fighting games. Games like Call of Duty, Halo, Gears of War, God of War, Doom, Dead Rising, Grand Theft Auto, Saints Row, Batman Arkham Asylum, Prince of Persia, Super Smash Bros., Street Fighter, Tekken, hell, even Super Mario Bros. (steppin on Goombas & Koopa Troopas). The whole point is to make you feel like a champ...a bad ass mutha-effin champ. I just killed everyone on the screen! DUDE THAT WAS EPIC BEAST MODE GUYS!!! I'm awesome.
That's not to say that I dislike all of the games above (hey, I like FPSes) or that Sega is an exception to this style of game (there's Virtua Fighter, Virtua Cop, House of the Dead, etc.). Or that all popular games must be violent cause there's a lot of "decent" ones out there. Like Portal 2. I literally saw a Portal 2 commercial on Disney Channel. So it mustn't be that bad, huh?
So what does this have to do with Burnout? Well, Burnout makes you feel powerful. It's an "instant gratification" game. You don't need massive amounts of skill--just pick it up and play. You drive down the road trying to complete your primary objective--win the race. You can take down your opponents by plowing them into obstacles! YEAH, TAKE THAT BITCH!!! And should you suck, well--you can always take out gobs of traffic while you're at it. Hey look, I just destroyed a bunch of minivans and an explosive oil tanker. Most people like the wrecks.
As a matter of fact, there's literally a game mode in Burnout where the goal is to launch a precious sports/muscle car into oncoming traffic & self-destruct (multiple times if necessary) to do as much damage as possible. If that's not catering to the powerful crowd (causing massive destruction), I don't know what is.
And this is also applicable, to a certain extent, to games like Fast and the Furious. Now this game isn't nearly as violent, but Midway/Raw Thrills really loves to use rubber-band AI to their advantage. Regardless of how poorly you drive, the other drivers keep you in it all the way to the finish line. It makes you feel good that you barely won as if you're such a great driver (a "powerful" driver). Unfortunately, the cheap AI seldom lets you win so it leaves you hanging there. Sneaky Midway.
Now let's talk about Daytona USA, OutRun, etc. IMO, being able to drive a powerful vehicle, rocking back and forth in drifts, while dominating the competition makes me feel powerful. Yet sales & popularity for these games have really dropped off. Why? Because it doesn't make you feel powerful from the get-go. There's no massive wreckage to cause (excluding your own vehicle) and it takes a while to get good at the game. Most people simply don't have the patience for this ESPECIALLY in an arcade setting where they don't want to plunk down a lot of money just to get decent at it.
I'm not going to say "well that sucks, everyone is stupid," but if you're going to make a racing game nowadays, why not go for the biggest demographic? Burnout sells, Daytona/Outrun notsomuch. Hey, that's the way it is. And now you know the whole story. BTW, this is cool. And this is funny.
Losing vital signs...I NEED MEDICATION!!
But really, if waving your hands around destroys a city, might as well make a Godzilla/King Kong game so what's the difference? You're not even using driving motions in this game. What a sad little game. Once again, WHAT WERE THEY THINKING???
------------
Alright, now that we got that wacky little monstrosity out of the way, let's talk about Burnout, Fast and Furious, all those games I like to bash and why they're so popular. The answer seems obvious, but let me tell you how I see it.
When people play games, there's multiple reasons as to why they do some. Some do it to solve puzzles. Some do it to explore an environment. Some do it to unravel a story. Some do it to socialize with friends. Some do it to create a work of art.
But you know what the main reason for games is nowadays? To feel powerful. That's why some of the most critically acclaimed & top sellers are basically action-adventures, FPSes, and fighting games. Games like Call of Duty, Halo, Gears of War, God of War, Doom, Dead Rising, Grand Theft Auto, Saints Row, Batman Arkham Asylum, Prince of Persia, Super Smash Bros., Street Fighter, Tekken, hell, even Super Mario Bros. (steppin on Goombas & Koopa Troopas). The whole point is to make you feel like a champ...a bad ass mutha-effin champ. I just killed everyone on the screen! DUDE THAT WAS EPIC BEAST MODE GUYS!!! I'm awesome.
That's not to say that I dislike all of the games above (hey, I like FPSes) or that Sega is an exception to this style of game (there's Virtua Fighter, Virtua Cop, House of the Dead, etc.). Or that all popular games must be violent cause there's a lot of "decent" ones out there. Like Portal 2. I literally saw a Portal 2 commercial on Disney Channel. So it mustn't be that bad, huh?
So what does this have to do with Burnout? Well, Burnout makes you feel powerful. It's an "instant gratification" game. You don't need massive amounts of skill--just pick it up and play. You drive down the road trying to complete your primary objective--win the race. You can take down your opponents by plowing them into obstacles! YEAH, TAKE THAT BITCH!!! And should you suck, well--you can always take out gobs of traffic while you're at it. Hey look, I just destroyed a bunch of minivans and an explosive oil tanker. Most people like the wrecks.
As a matter of fact, there's literally a game mode in Burnout where the goal is to launch a precious sports/muscle car into oncoming traffic & self-destruct (multiple times if necessary) to do as much damage as possible. If that's not catering to the powerful crowd (causing massive destruction), I don't know what is.
And this is also applicable, to a certain extent, to games like Fast and the Furious. Now this game isn't nearly as violent, but Midway/Raw Thrills really loves to use rubber-band AI to their advantage. Regardless of how poorly you drive, the other drivers keep you in it all the way to the finish line. It makes you feel good that you barely won as if you're such a great driver (a "powerful" driver). Unfortunately, the cheap AI seldom lets you win so it leaves you hanging there. Sneaky Midway.
Now let's talk about Daytona USA, OutRun, etc. IMO, being able to drive a powerful vehicle, rocking back and forth in drifts, while dominating the competition makes me feel powerful. Yet sales & popularity for these games have really dropped off. Why? Because it doesn't make you feel powerful from the get-go. There's no massive wreckage to cause (excluding your own vehicle) and it takes a while to get good at the game. Most people simply don't have the patience for this ESPECIALLY in an arcade setting where they don't want to plunk down a lot of money just to get decent at it.
I'm not going to say "well that sucks, everyone is stupid," but if you're going to make a racing game nowadays, why not go for the biggest demographic? Burnout sells, Daytona/Outrun notsomuch. Hey, that's the way it is. And now you know the whole story. BTW, this is cool. And this is funny.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Two Great Things I Want To See In Racing Games (Fine Tune This In The Garage)
Hey guys, I just finished that pizza delivery flash game for school. It's good (in my opinion that is). I'll post a link to it some time in the future.
But anyway, you think about racing games and they're cool and all, but here's two things I can think of that would be interesting to consider adding in the future. These ideas may be ridiculous/unnecessary but I guess this is just to make you think.
------------
1. "Practice A Turn/Section" feature. This is something the casuals won't really care about, but if you're the slightest bit die-hard, then it can be a problem.
Usually, when you go to race, tracks are usually about 40-80 seconds per lap. If you go to "practice" (which is basically a time trial mode, just admit it), seldom is there a way to practice the taxing turns that you want to. And running through the entire track again and again doesn't help much because you can't focus in on the turn/section you want to improve on the most.
Let me explain how I thought of this. I was recently playing Sega Rally Online Arcade. I was time trialling on the Tropical course. Now that course is easy but there's one broad right turn about 2/3rds of the way in (the one after the trail of mud). My natural instinct is to get to the left side of the track and "guess" when to turn hard right (usually gauged by the billboards nearby). But sometimes I would come too close to the outside wall or start "chunking" the tires (get too sideways and you lose lots of speed). So then I tried again next lap but by doing a little downshifting.
At this point, I was a bit confused on what to do. Every time I made that turn, I tried to think of how I did on that turn and how I should take it next time. However, I had to drive for 40+ seconds afterwards just to get back to that part of the track again and by then, I had forgotten what I was trying to do. So I've gotten into a nasty habit of just "winging it" every time I approach that turn during a race and that's not good.
Even reading "guides" on the internet aren't as effective and still doesn't do much justice. You can't possible memorize all these details (approach this corner at 160 mph, turn two car lengths past the sign, let off the gas then apply it here, oh geez). Not to say guides are bad...sure I'd love to take advice from professionals but you can't learn something just by reading about it--you need to actually DO IT and get hands-on experience.
Ever read these guides for arcade racing games (non-Sega) like San Francisco Rush 2049? There's a bunch of coins in the game hidden in each of the tracks (like keys on the console versions), but this time, there's many of them (about 100 per track) and they're in completely different locations. So this one guide on GameFAQs tells you where all these coins are...but are you going to print out some sheets of paper and read them while you're actually at the arcade? So just reading how to do something then go do it doesn't cut the mustard (usually)...like that one time I read that Golf for Dummies book and tried golfing the next day. It's not that easy.
So basically, what I want to do is run (with a rolling start) through the same 10-15 second section of track over and over again until I think I got it. Use split-time so I can see how much I improved. Is that tough to do? It's a bit extreme and unrealistic (yeah, just warp me back to where I was), but so what, these are video game we're talking about. The same games that allow you to drive wrecklessly without result and block off major sections of New York City just to watch some bubble cars race in circles. The only game that has come close is Gran Turismo with the license tests. Or if you're playing on an emulator, you can use save states to go back to the beginning of the turn.
Seriously, wouldn't a "practice mode" come in handy for turns like this?
------------
2. Heighten the intensity of music when you're on the final lap and/or near the finish line. Now this is something that Sega racers really don't do but it's not that big of a deal (no one else does, really) but I really think it could serve to put an exclamation mark on an already exciting game.
Now I'm a big believer in that a racing game needs to have a tight soundtrack. Songs have to be fast-paced and /or related to driving to a certain extent, although this is not set in stone. Sega racers do this but not many others do. I like to find licensed music that's awesome for the job. Put them all in a folder on a flash drive, pop it into my Xbox 360, it sweetens the whole thing. BTW, if you want supplemental material, read my super-old post on why I love the Sega soundtrack.
So back to your own custom racing setlists. Forza 3 did something like this before. As a promotion for this Microsoft Zune music service, Turn10 took a survey from the fan community to submit their favorite "racing music" per genre. Then Turn10 compiled a bunch of setlists per genre (50 songs each) to download on Zune. Now for some sucky reason, you cannot see this list without having created a Zune account...but thankfully, the Forza 3 game came with a Zune free trial so I used it to see what songs were on this list. Particularly Classic Rock since that's my main genre.
I see some good songs (I'll save my "good songs" for another day) and some bad ones. Like I'm not knocking on these songs, but when you hear songs like More Than a Feeling, Fortunate Son, Message in a Bottle, Do You Feel Like I Do, Money, and (get ready for it) SLOW RIDE (yes, that's right, a song about DRIVING SLOWLY), do race cars come to mind? No, some of these are poppish/slow mellow songs and I don't know but they don't fit with racing. But that's just me--some people may like driving to this (hell, that have friggin Classical music in this Forza setlist as well as in Project Gotham Racing 3/4), but I dunno, just my suggestion.
But anyway, about in-game soundtracks, games aren't going to have a bunch of high-profile songs so they either make their own soundtracks (Ridge Racer, Cruis'n games) or get a bunch of cheapo bands you've never heard of to get the job done (Need for Speed, Crazy Taxi on Xbox 360/PS3) EDIT: including Papa Roach with their cheeseball albums (Metamorphosis, etc.) that are perfect racing game fodder too. Now neither isn't bad but when the music is boring and/or unmemorable, then those games tend to suck or be less exciting to me. Like I can't recall a single tune from Fast and the Furious which makes that game even suckier than it already is. Although from what I've experienced, I do think Need for Speed has done a decent job of picking songs so kudos to them (yes, I said it).
Anyway, what was I saying? Ok, about reaching the climax of a song. Imagine you're editing a racing movie. You reach the climax of the film when the driver's on the last lap, trying to overtake his rival(s). What kind of music are you going to play there? Slow Ride (forget about it)?
Now some of my favorite racing songs have either great intros (Thunderstruck, Flirting With Disaster) while some have great outros (every Daytona 2 song, The Chain, Running Down a Dream). So let's take running Down a Dream and put it in our climatic final race scene (likewise, you can begin the race with something with a great intro...get the hint??). But you're not going to cue up just the middle portion of the song, you're gonna go for the ending guitar solo. An exciting conclusion to the race is capped off with the exciting song. It would cause your head to explode.
Skip to 2:50
Or how about Slingshot?
Skip to 3:25 for the GLORY NOTE!
So save the most exciting part of the song at the end of the race in order to convey the message, "Ok, this is the last lap, leave it all out on the track now!!" Yeah, skipping around to other parts of the song (come on, seaming these parts together can't be THAT hard) may say weird but someone try it. But what most racing games do is that they cue up the song and just play it through. The race ends and the music stops. Simple as that. You may even end the song on no music at all (the song ends and you wait for the next one to begin). Now that just sucks, especially if the race was really close.
Now what game does this? Well, I hate to bring this up again, but it's.....Split/Second. Well, I think so anyway. If you watch this gameplay footage (ugh), you'll see that the music becomes a lot more apparent. At least from what I see. The music doesn't just jump from one section of the song to another but it does so in stride.
------------
So anyway, that's the two things that I want to point out about racing games. There's also other stuff for me to talk about pertaining to racers, but I'll address them later. This post has gone on long enough and it's really late so good night, good morning, good afternoon...whatever time of the day you happen to read this.
But anyway, you think about racing games and they're cool and all, but here's two things I can think of that would be interesting to consider adding in the future. These ideas may be ridiculous/unnecessary but I guess this is just to make you think.
------------
1. "Practice A Turn/Section" feature. This is something the casuals won't really care about, but if you're the slightest bit die-hard, then it can be a problem.
Usually, when you go to race, tracks are usually about 40-80 seconds per lap. If you go to "practice" (which is basically a time trial mode, just admit it), seldom is there a way to practice the taxing turns that you want to. And running through the entire track again and again doesn't help much because you can't focus in on the turn/section you want to improve on the most.
If this were part of the track, you'd want to prepare for it too.
Let me explain how I thought of this. I was recently playing Sega Rally Online Arcade. I was time trialling on the Tropical course. Now that course is easy but there's one broad right turn about 2/3rds of the way in (the one after the trail of mud). My natural instinct is to get to the left side of the track and "guess" when to turn hard right (usually gauged by the billboards nearby). But sometimes I would come too close to the outside wall or start "chunking" the tires (get too sideways and you lose lots of speed). So then I tried again next lap but by doing a little downshifting.
At this point, I was a bit confused on what to do. Every time I made that turn, I tried to think of how I did on that turn and how I should take it next time. However, I had to drive for 40+ seconds afterwards just to get back to that part of the track again and by then, I had forgotten what I was trying to do. So I've gotten into a nasty habit of just "winging it" every time I approach that turn during a race and that's not good.
Oops, bounced off the outside wall. Better luck next time.
Even reading "guides" on the internet aren't as effective and still doesn't do much justice. You can't possible memorize all these details (approach this corner at 160 mph, turn two car lengths past the sign, let off the gas then apply it here, oh geez). Not to say guides are bad...sure I'd love to take advice from professionals but you can't learn something just by reading about it--you need to actually DO IT and get hands-on experience.
Ever read these guides for arcade racing games (non-Sega) like San Francisco Rush 2049? There's a bunch of coins in the game hidden in each of the tracks (like keys on the console versions), but this time, there's many of them (about 100 per track) and they're in completely different locations. So this one guide on GameFAQs tells you where all these coins are...but are you going to print out some sheets of paper and read them while you're actually at the arcade? So just reading how to do something then go do it doesn't cut the mustard (usually)...like that one time I read that Golf for Dummies book and tried golfing the next day. It's not that easy.
This book is USELESS.
So basically, what I want to do is run (with a rolling start) through the same 10-15 second section of track over and over again until I think I got it. Use split-time so I can see how much I improved. Is that tough to do? It's a bit extreme and unrealistic (yeah, just warp me back to where I was), but so what, these are video game we're talking about. The same games that allow you to drive wrecklessly without result and block off major sections of New York City just to watch some bubble cars race in circles. The only game that has come close is Gran Turismo with the license tests. Or if you're playing on an emulator, you can use save states to go back to the beginning of the turn.
Seriously, wouldn't a "practice mode" come in handy for turns like this?
------------
2. Heighten the intensity of music when you're on the final lap and/or near the finish line. Now this is something that Sega racers really don't do but it's not that big of a deal (no one else does, really) but I really think it could serve to put an exclamation mark on an already exciting game.
Now I'm a big believer in that a racing game needs to have a tight soundtrack. Songs have to be fast-paced and /or related to driving to a certain extent, although this is not set in stone. Sega racers do this but not many others do. I like to find licensed music that's awesome for the job. Put them all in a folder on a flash drive, pop it into my Xbox 360, it sweetens the whole thing. BTW, if you want supplemental material, read my super-old post on why I love the Sega soundtrack.
So back to your own custom racing setlists. Forza 3 did something like this before. As a promotion for this Microsoft Zune music service, Turn10 took a survey from the fan community to submit their favorite "racing music" per genre. Then Turn10 compiled a bunch of setlists per genre (50 songs each) to download on Zune. Now for some sucky reason, you cannot see this list without having created a Zune account...but thankfully, the Forza 3 game came with a Zune free trial so I used it to see what songs were on this list. Particularly Classic Rock since that's my main genre.
I see some good songs (I'll save my "good songs" for another day) and some bad ones. Like I'm not knocking on these songs, but when you hear songs like More Than a Feeling, Fortunate Son, Message in a Bottle, Do You Feel Like I Do, Money, and (get ready for it) SLOW RIDE (yes, that's right, a song about DRIVING SLOWLY), do race cars come to mind? No, some of these are poppish/slow mellow songs and I don't know but they don't fit with racing. But that's just me--some people may like driving to this (hell, that have friggin Classical music in this Forza setlist as well as in Project Gotham Racing 3/4), but I dunno, just my suggestion.
But anyway, about in-game soundtracks, games aren't going to have a bunch of high-profile songs so they either make their own soundtracks (Ridge Racer, Cruis'n games) or get a bunch of cheapo bands you've never heard of to get the job done (Need for Speed, Crazy Taxi on Xbox 360/PS3) EDIT: including Papa Roach with their cheeseball albums (Metamorphosis, etc.) that are perfect racing game fodder too. Now neither isn't bad but when the music is boring and/or unmemorable, then those games tend to suck or be less exciting to me. Like I can't recall a single tune from Fast and the Furious which makes that game even suckier than it already is. Although from what I've experienced, I do think Need for Speed has done a decent job of picking songs so kudos to them (yes, I said it).
Anyway, what was I saying? Ok, about reaching the climax of a song. Imagine you're editing a racing movie. You reach the climax of the film when the driver's on the last lap, trying to overtake his rival(s). What kind of music are you going to play there? Slow Ride (forget about it)?
Although now that you mention it, I think Slow Ride would make a great song for crap movies like this.
Now some of my favorite racing songs have either great intros (Thunderstruck, Flirting With Disaster) while some have great outros (every Daytona 2 song, The Chain, Running Down a Dream). So let's take running Down a Dream and put it in our climatic final race scene (likewise, you can begin the race with something with a great intro...get the hint??). But you're not going to cue up just the middle portion of the song, you're gonna go for the ending guitar solo. An exciting conclusion to the race is capped off with the exciting song. It would cause your head to explode.
Skip to 2:50
Or how about Slingshot?
Skip to 3:25 for the GLORY NOTE!
So save the most exciting part of the song at the end of the race in order to convey the message, "Ok, this is the last lap, leave it all out on the track now!!" Yeah, skipping around to other parts of the song (come on, seaming these parts together can't be THAT hard) may say weird but someone try it. But what most racing games do is that they cue up the song and just play it through. The race ends and the music stops. Simple as that. You may even end the song on no music at all (the song ends and you wait for the next one to begin). Now that just sucks, especially if the race was really close.
Now what game does this? Well, I hate to bring this up again, but it's.....Split/Second. Well, I think so anyway. If you watch this gameplay footage (ugh), you'll see that the music becomes a lot more apparent. At least from what I see. The music doesn't just jump from one section of the song to another but it does so in stride.
------------
So anyway, that's the two things that I want to point out about racing games. There's also other stuff for me to talk about pertaining to racers, but I'll address them later. This post has gone on long enough and it's really late so good night, good morning, good afternoon...whatever time of the day you happen to read this.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
So What's Raw Thrills Up To Anyway? Pissing Me Off As Usual...
Nice, I'm watching the NASCAR race on TV...it's about time. It's at Pocono, the Daytona USA tri-oval. I keep forgetting to watch these things. Now Brad Keselowski wins (and is drinking a Miller Lite) and Kurt Busch just said "bitch" on live TV (referring to an altercation with Jimmie Johnson). And forget about censoring that word--if he can say it uncensored SO CAN I.
But I recently checked out a couple of Twitter accounts. Raw Thrills has a Twitter, oh geez. Anyway, here's what I got.
Justin Bieber on a Fast and Furious Bikes game...good enough of a reason NOT to play it now, sheesh...
------------
Here's a YouTube video.
The Description: Employees of Raw Thrills, Play Mechanix, Betson Enterprises and Namco Cybertainment risk their lives to bring you the best games in coin-op...
WHERE THE HELL IS SEGA??? WHY IS IT THAT EUGENE JARVIS HAS MORE DESIRE IN HIS PINKY FINGER TO MAKE A GOOD RACING GAME THAN IN EVERYONE AT SEGA COMBINED??? AND RAW THRILLS DOESN'T EVEN MAKE NASCAR GAMES, GOD FORBID THEY ACTUALLY MAKE ONE NOW??? AND NAMCO, WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE??? MY GOD, WHAT HAVE WE WROUGHT???
------------
There has been both a Big Buck Hunter and a Big Buck Safari tournament recently. The winner of the Safari tournament took home $10,000. Wait--$10K? Isn't that the same amount offered to those at EVO and MLG? Screw Cock o Doody: Boring Ops, Gaylo: Reach, and Starcrap 2; I wanna watch some BIG BUCK HUNTIN'!!! But no, really, Big Buck Hunter is the kind of game you'd see in a tiny pizza parlor arcade or in the front entrance of a Wal-Mart. Golden Tee, an underground competitive game, is treated with more dignity. Geez.
------------
And now for the big salad. This is a flattening article if you're Raw Thrills, otherwise, it's embarrassing. Top 10 Secrets for Arcade Operators to Make Money.
Many survivors, such as Sega Sammy and Namco Bandai, were forced to merge and expand far afield into non-amusement territory in order to survive (despite which, their annual profit and loss statements still don't look nearly as healthy as stockholders would like).
This rocky history makes it all the more impressive that a relative newcomer, Chicago-based Raw Thrills, founded in 2001, has succeeded in a tough industry during a very difficult decade of consolidation and retrenchment. The extent of the company's success is impressive. Not only did distributors vote Raw Thrills top honors as "Manufacturer of the Year" in 2007 and 2008, but leading operators have named Raw Thrills chief executive Eugene Jarvis as 2009's Man of the Year. The Amusement and Music Owners Association of New York will present this honor at a dinner on Feb. 8 in New York City.
*profuse vomiting*
I'm going to apply this to SEGA....
Lesson 1: Learn your trade through years of hands-on experience. - Suzuki and Nagoshi have been making arcade games for years.
Lesson 2: Build a great team. - These are the same people who made Virtua Fighter & countless arcade racers so no excuse there.
Lesson 3: First be great at doing "just one thing." - Suzuki talked about "self-improvement" in his words of wisdom section from the game design book which is close enough.
Lesson 4: Be an entertainer, and keep it simple.
Lesson 5: Respect the hits. - Quoting from the article:
When RT launched in 2001, the amusement trade could not foretell the staying power of its games. But from the very start, the company has worked to achieve a style of gameplay and graphics presentation that attracts the casual gamer and holds his interest. Rather than over-complicated simulations, simple yet fun gameplay has led to core playability that keeps cashboxes full. In short, RT always remembers that it's in the entertainment business, not the "super accurate simulator" business.
....and...
If you're in the entertainment business, then you are in a hit-driven business. The U.S. economy increasingly has no room for "mid-list" book titles, "fairly popular" TV shows, and "modest sleeper" films. Either it's a blockbuster or it's nothing. Raw Thrills embraced this principle through licensing hit properties such as The Fast and the Furious (remember, it was a hit film before it was a hit game) and the Terminator franchise. RT was an obvious choice when a safe pair of hands was needed to bring the million-selling Guitar Hero consumer videogame franchise to the arcades.
Step 1: Make mediocre games based on pop culture crap.
Step 2: ???
Step 3: PROFIT!!!
Sega can't win here, they just can't. When they're making good games based on true blood, sweat, and tears, they lose.
Lesson 6: Build your own brand.
Lesson 7: Remember the basics.
Lesson 8: Teamwork.
Lesson 9: Market to your ultimate customer, the player ... not just to the next level down in the business chain. - These all pertain specifically to managing arcades, something that Sega surrendered on years ago (aside from UFO catchers).
Lesson 10: Get connected. - Ever since when did Sega meet with their fans? Other than ridiculous canned crap, like Sonic Boom at E3 or Nagoshi doing Yakuza promos??? Where's Yu Suzuki anyway??? Doing nothing other than
Bonus lesson: Stay focused on the future. - Does Sega strike you as focused on the future? Or are they just trying to stay alive, not looking to overtake anyone? Whatever happened to Japanese honor??? What a catastrophe.
So lemme ask you this--if Raw Thrills can crap out anything and it's a hit, why can't Sega? Two reasons:
1. No one wants to play Sega games because they are really bad and us Sega diehards are too blissfully unaware to notice this...
OR
2. Sega is too lazy and doesn't care.
So shame on everyone, shame on Sega, welcome to the future of racing games--Fast and Furious and Need for Speed!!!
EDIT: Well, let me elaborate on what Sega should've done. Tomorrow, they can't just come out and say "We're reviving twenty of our IP's with 300+ man teams each," no, doesn't work that way. Maybe in the past they could've produced some more DC/Saturn/whatnot ports, treated them with more TLC, started with smaller games working their way up in order to raise their confidence and consumer awareness thus beginning the process of rolling the ball down the hill. Don't get me wrong, they've done this in the form of a new Yakuza and a new Sonic game (after six/seven botched attempts thus flatlining the franchise) and OutRun/Sega Rally Online Arcade, but that's not enough, it just isn't. Especially if you're a racing game fan like I am.
And they don't necessarily HAVE to make an arcade comeback here--home consoles are fine by me. Better that we get a measly Sega Racing Classic XBLA/PSN port than get another unique arcade racer (like R-Tuned or Sega Race TV) that makes a grand whopping total of US arcade appearances in the single-digits. But no, today they're in a crap position so they're in a bind here.
I expect some Midway fans to read this someday and then proceed to call me a fanboy. Hell, I tell you this--I played the crap out of Cruis'n USA and World (both in arcades and on N64) when I was a kid. It was fun. But now, I see through its transparency...
------------
And one more thing. EDIT: I didn't find this on the Raw Thrills Twitter--no, they wouldn't touch this with a twenty foot pole. This is about Pinball and Williams Entertainment (which would later become part of Midway). Pinball lost popularity in the late 80's-90's. Why?
In 1986, Williams High Speed [a pinball machine] changed the economics of pinball forever. Pinball developers began to see how they could take advantage of programmable software to monitor, incentivize, and ultimately exploit the players. They had two instruments at their disposal: the score required for a free game, and the match probability. All pinball machines offer a replay to a player who beats some specified score. Pre-1986, the replay score was hard wired into the game unless the operator manually re-programmed the software. High Speed changed all that. It was pre-loaded with an algorithm that adjusted the replay score according to the distribution of scores on the specified machine over a specific time interval.
Basically, what Williams did was alter the free game thresholds, either by making them increasingly more difficult or completely random. And this isolated novice players and thus pinball lost a lot of players. Then pinball proceeded to die. Game over.
And what's sad is that Williams AKA Midway continued this winning tradition into Cruis'n USA, Cruis'n World, Fast and the Furious. Come in first, win a free race. Yeah, but the rubber band AI is so cheap that it's just a big tease to get you to play cause MAYBE you'll win one. At least Sega racers don't give you this free game BS--you play one again, win or else, you're happy.
You know, I always thought it was weird that people would stand in the middle of the road waiting for you...what if you don't stop on a dime? You run their asses over as they explode into packets of blood (Maximum Force-style).
Now don't get me wrong, these aren't the WORST games I've played. But this is what I say--Midway/Raw Thrills make cheeseball games. They ruined arcades for me...watching that Daytona USA or OutRun cabinet being ushered away for a Cruis'n or FnF game. Makes me wanna puke (again).
Oh yeah, here's some quotes by Eugene Jarvis that I'm too lazy to elaborate on...
I need to go back to sleep.
But I recently checked out a couple of Twitter accounts. Raw Thrills has a Twitter, oh geez. Anyway, here's what I got.
Justin Bieber on a Fast and Furious Bikes game...good enough of a reason NOT to play it now, sheesh...
------------
Here's a YouTube video.
The Description: Employees of Raw Thrills, Play Mechanix, Betson Enterprises and Namco Cybertainment risk their lives to bring you the best games in coin-op...
WHERE THE HELL IS SEGA??? WHY IS IT THAT EUGENE JARVIS HAS MORE DESIRE IN HIS PINKY FINGER TO MAKE A GOOD RACING GAME THAN IN EVERYONE AT SEGA COMBINED??? AND RAW THRILLS DOESN'T EVEN MAKE NASCAR GAMES, GOD FORBID THEY ACTUALLY MAKE ONE NOW??? AND NAMCO, WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE??? MY GOD, WHAT HAVE WE WROUGHT???
------------
There has been both a Big Buck Hunter and a Big Buck Safari tournament recently. The winner of the Safari tournament took home $10,000. Wait--$10K? Isn't that the same amount offered to those at EVO and MLG? Screw Cock o Doody: Boring Ops, Gaylo: Reach, and Starcrap 2; I wanna watch some BIG BUCK HUNTIN'!!! But no, really, Big Buck Hunter is the kind of game you'd see in a tiny pizza parlor arcade or in the front entrance of a Wal-Mart. Golden Tee, an underground competitive game, is treated with more dignity. Geez.
------------
And now for the big salad. This is a flattening article if you're Raw Thrills, otherwise, it's embarrassing. Top 10 Secrets for Arcade Operators to Make Money.
Many survivors, such as Sega Sammy and Namco Bandai, were forced to merge and expand far afield into non-amusement territory in order to survive (despite which, their annual profit and loss statements still don't look nearly as healthy as stockholders would like).
This rocky history makes it all the more impressive that a relative newcomer, Chicago-based Raw Thrills, founded in 2001, has succeeded in a tough industry during a very difficult decade of consolidation and retrenchment. The extent of the company's success is impressive. Not only did distributors vote Raw Thrills top honors as "Manufacturer of the Year" in 2007 and 2008, but leading operators have named Raw Thrills chief executive Eugene Jarvis as 2009's Man of the Year. The Amusement and Music Owners Association of New York will present this honor at a dinner on Feb. 8 in New York City.
*profuse vomiting*
I'm going to apply this to SEGA....
Lesson 1: Learn your trade through years of hands-on experience. - Suzuki and Nagoshi have been making arcade games for years.
Lesson 2: Build a great team. - These are the same people who made Virtua Fighter & countless arcade racers so no excuse there.
Lesson 3: First be great at doing "just one thing." - Suzuki talked about "self-improvement" in his words of wisdom section from the game design book which is close enough.
Lesson 4: Be an entertainer, and keep it simple.
Lesson 5: Respect the hits. - Quoting from the article:
When RT launched in 2001, the amusement trade could not foretell the staying power of its games. But from the very start, the company has worked to achieve a style of gameplay and graphics presentation that attracts the casual gamer and holds his interest. Rather than over-complicated simulations, simple yet fun gameplay has led to core playability that keeps cashboxes full. In short, RT always remembers that it's in the entertainment business, not the "super accurate simulator" business.
....and...
If you're in the entertainment business, then you are in a hit-driven business. The U.S. economy increasingly has no room for "mid-list" book titles, "fairly popular" TV shows, and "modest sleeper" films. Either it's a blockbuster or it's nothing. Raw Thrills embraced this principle through licensing hit properties such as The Fast and the Furious (remember, it was a hit film before it was a hit game) and the Terminator franchise. RT was an obvious choice when a safe pair of hands was needed to bring the million-selling Guitar Hero consumer videogame franchise to the arcades.
Step 1: Make mediocre games based on pop culture crap.
Step 2: ???
Step 3: PROFIT!!!
Sega can't win here, they just can't. When they're making good games based on true blood, sweat, and tears, they lose.
Lesson 6: Build your own brand.
Lesson 7: Remember the basics.
Lesson 8: Teamwork.
Lesson 9: Market to your ultimate customer, the player ... not just to the next level down in the business chain. - These all pertain specifically to managing arcades, something that Sega surrendered on years ago (aside from UFO catchers).
Lesson 10: Get connected. - Ever since when did Sega meet with their fans? Other than ridiculous canned crap, like Sonic Boom at E3 or Nagoshi doing Yakuza promos??? Where's Yu Suzuki anyway??? Doing nothing other than
Bonus lesson: Stay focused on the future. - Does Sega strike you as focused on the future? Or are they just trying to stay alive, not looking to overtake anyone? Whatever happened to Japanese honor??? What a catastrophe.
So lemme ask you this--if Raw Thrills can crap out anything and it's a hit, why can't Sega? Two reasons:
1. No one wants to play Sega games because they are really bad and us Sega diehards are too blissfully unaware to notice this...
OR
2. Sega is too lazy and doesn't care.
So shame on everyone, shame on Sega, welcome to the future of racing games--Fast and Furious and Need for Speed!!!
EDIT: Well, let me elaborate on what Sega should've done. Tomorrow, they can't just come out and say "We're reviving twenty of our IP's with 300+ man teams each," no, doesn't work that way. Maybe in the past they could've produced some more DC/Saturn/whatnot ports, treated them with more TLC, started with smaller games working their way up in order to raise their confidence and consumer awareness thus beginning the process of rolling the ball down the hill. Don't get me wrong, they've done this in the form of a new Yakuza and a new Sonic game (after six/seven botched attempts thus flatlining the franchise) and OutRun/Sega Rally Online Arcade, but that's not enough, it just isn't. Especially if you're a racing game fan like I am.
And they don't necessarily HAVE to make an arcade comeback here--home consoles are fine by me. Better that we get a measly Sega Racing Classic XBLA/PSN port than get another unique arcade racer (like R-Tuned or Sega Race TV) that makes a grand whopping total of US arcade appearances in the single-digits. But no, today they're in a crap position so they're in a bind here.
I expect some Midway fans to read this someday and then proceed to call me a fanboy. Hell, I tell you this--I played the crap out of Cruis'n USA and World (both in arcades and on N64) when I was a kid. It was fun. But now, I see through its transparency...
------------
And one more thing. EDIT: I didn't find this on the Raw Thrills Twitter--no, they wouldn't touch this with a twenty foot pole. This is about Pinball and Williams Entertainment (which would later become part of Midway). Pinball lost popularity in the late 80's-90's. Why?
In 1986, Williams High Speed [a pinball machine] changed the economics of pinball forever. Pinball developers began to see how they could take advantage of programmable software to monitor, incentivize, and ultimately exploit the players. They had two instruments at their disposal: the score required for a free game, and the match probability. All pinball machines offer a replay to a player who beats some specified score. Pre-1986, the replay score was hard wired into the game unless the operator manually re-programmed the software. High Speed changed all that. It was pre-loaded with an algorithm that adjusted the replay score according to the distribution of scores on the specified machine over a specific time interval.
Basically, what Williams did was alter the free game thresholds, either by making them increasingly more difficult or completely random. And this isolated novice players and thus pinball lost a lot of players. Then pinball proceeded to die. Game over.
And what's sad is that Williams AKA Midway continued this winning tradition into Cruis'n USA, Cruis'n World, Fast and the Furious. Come in first, win a free race. Yeah, but the rubber band AI is so cheap that it's just a big tease to get you to play cause MAYBE you'll win one. At least Sega racers don't give you this free game BS--you play one again, win or else, you're happy.
You know, I always thought it was weird that people would stand in the middle of the road waiting for you...what if you don't stop on a dime? You run their asses over as they explode into packets of blood (Maximum Force-style).
Now don't get me wrong, these aren't the WORST games I've played. But this is what I say--Midway/Raw Thrills make cheeseball games. They ruined arcades for me...watching that Daytona USA or OutRun cabinet being ushered away for a Cruis'n or FnF game. Makes me wanna puke (again).
Oh yeah, here's some quotes by Eugene Jarvis that I'm too lazy to elaborate on...
I need to go back to sleep.
Monday, August 1, 2011
MLG And Evo Stuff (Professional Gaming)
EDITED twice, moved the NASCAR part to its own post
Oh man. Get ready for more gaming conventions. So yesterday, I was watching a Major League Gaming (in Anaheim) stream on some website. They were playing Halo: Reach, CoD: Black Ops, and Starcraft 2. Who won? Well, I don't know. Also, at the same time, there was this Evo tournament thing (in Las Vegas). They were playing Marvel vs. Capcom 3 (with no Megaman) and Street Fighter 4. Thank God there was no Smash Bros. or I would have snapped. BTW, there was some dude from Saudi Arabia who came in 2nd place in SF4 and that's boss.
OMG Koreans playing Starcraft, we're not worthy!!!
I have no idea what's going on here.
So I watched and I guess it was kind of cool. No I didn't absolutely abhor it like pretty much everything else. Well, everyone playing CoD ran around with the Famas Red Dot (very rarely an AK74 or G11)/Lightweight/Sleight of Hand which was kind of stupid but they were playing under special rules. There were about 80,000 people watching both streams plus those watching on Spike/G4 and in the actual convention center.
Man, I tell you I get a little jealous of those guys. Nothing like struggling to keep a 1.0 KDR on Black Ops (not me, some other people), then seeing these guys put on a show. That's a real morale boost there. Don't worry kids--just play enough Halo/CoD and someday, you'll make $30,000 a year playing video games! Yeah, good luck. Remember, changing your XBL Gamerpic to a MLG logo will increase your skills by 1000%.
But in the end, you still gotta go back to real life--working hard, taking care of business, keeping the world going around. I don't even remember who won. Also MLG/Evo will never air on ESPN while professional poker will. Hell, even 1st and 10 gets aired over video games so QQ moar nerds.
Another thing I noticed was the advertisements. Now Dr. Pepper is synonymous with gamers--when did this happen? What happened to Mountain Dew--no one likes that anymore? Dr. Pepper has a contest that will hook someone up with some gaming room with al33t beast PC and sofa. Great, I liked Dr. Pepper when no one cared now everyone likes it and makes me look like a bandwagoner. Also, what's up with this NOS energy drink? I don't drink energy drinks cause those are for World of Warcraft nerds who pull all-nighters with their "epic 30-man raids." The only NOS I want is in my car, not in me.
-----------
Speaking of competitive gaming, there's also CPL: Cyberathlete Professional League. Oh man, now that's old school. They're still around although they may be merged with MLG or some crap like that.
Let's go back to Counter-Strike. Not Source but 1.6. The Greatest Game Ever Played.
Real men play CS. I'd play more but my comp sucks, wait until I get a new one...
Now this is a LAN party.
HEATON, HAVE MY BABIES.
Oh man. Get ready for more gaming conventions. So yesterday, I was watching a Major League Gaming (in Anaheim) stream on some website. They were playing Halo: Reach, CoD: Black Ops, and Starcraft 2. Who won? Well, I don't know. Also, at the same time, there was this Evo tournament thing (in Las Vegas). They were playing Marvel vs. Capcom 3 (with no Megaman) and Street Fighter 4. Thank God there was no Smash Bros. or I would have snapped. BTW, there was some dude from Saudi Arabia who came in 2nd place in SF4 and that's boss.
OMG Koreans playing Starcraft, we're not worthy!!!
I have no idea what's going on here.
So I watched and I guess it was kind of cool. No I didn't absolutely abhor it like pretty much everything else. Well, everyone playing CoD ran around with the Famas Red Dot (very rarely an AK74 or G11)/Lightweight/Sleight of Hand which was kind of stupid but they were playing under special rules. There were about 80,000 people watching both streams plus those watching on Spike/G4 and in the actual convention center.
Man, I tell you I get a little jealous of those guys. Nothing like struggling to keep a 1.0 KDR on Black Ops (not me, some other people), then seeing these guys put on a show. That's a real morale boost there. Don't worry kids--just play enough Halo/CoD and someday, you'll make $30,000 a year playing video games! Yeah, good luck. Remember, changing your XBL Gamerpic to a MLG logo will increase your skills by 1000%.
But in the end, you still gotta go back to real life--working hard, taking care of business, keeping the world going around. I don't even remember who won. Also MLG/Evo will never air on ESPN while professional poker will. Hell, even 1st and 10 gets aired over video games so QQ moar nerds.
I have to watch Skip Bayless over MLG.
Another thing I noticed was the advertisements. Now Dr. Pepper is synonymous with gamers--when did this happen? What happened to Mountain Dew--no one likes that anymore? Dr. Pepper has a contest that will hook someone up with some gaming room with a
-----------
Speaking of competitive gaming, there's also CPL: Cyberathlete Professional League. Oh man, now that's old school. They're still around although they may be merged with MLG or some crap like that.
Let's go back to Counter-Strike. Not Source but 1.6. The Greatest Game Ever Played.
Real men play CS. I'd play more but my comp sucks, wait until I get a new one...
Now this is a LAN party.
HEATON, HAVE MY BABIES.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Can't Watch Race Cars On TV Cause Of These IDIOTS
But first, this is awesome. Need for Speed: The Run made some site's Top 5 Fails of E3 2011 (#4). WTG guys, I thought I was the only one who noticed. Kotaku linked to this Top 5 so it's gotta be important!
------------
Anyway, it's Sunday afternoon, it's NASCAR Sprint Cup Race Day, let's check it out on TV! Now all NASCAR races have been on Fox channel 8 so I turn to it and I see the Formula 1 Canadian GP instead. Apparently, Fox Sports was kind enough to air the F1 broadcast in America so I figured that the NASCAR race was going to be later at night.
So I decide to settle in and watch this F1 race. I started at Lap 50 out of 70 and it's raining. Cool, rain tread tires! Anyway, within the last five laps, it starts increasing in intensity. You have three cars competing for second place who are a bumper's length from each other! Apparently the first place guy was a light year ahead of the competition. So I'm gonna watch this race and see what happens.
*WHOOOOOSSSHHH......*
Within about two laps to go, the middle of the race is interrupted by a Rally's Drive-In commercial. Okay, what the hell's this? Maybe they'll go back to the F1 race, I hope... Next thing you know, they're playing the Local Fox 8 News Broadcast...a telethon for St. Jude's Children Research Hospital hosted by local news anchors. The channel never once returned back to the F1 race.
Wow, how kind of Fox 8. This local broadcast started at EXACTLY 4 PM (CT). Could they have waited five minutes for the F1 race to end? Did they ever think that SOME people were tuned into Channel 8 to see the F1 race? What's the point of watching a race if you're not gonna watch the finish? What do they think this is, some infomercial dreck that no one cares about? Well, guess what Fox 8 New Orleans, SOME OF US DO CARE about Formula 1 races. Here's their website. I tell you this--if this were a Saints game, they would have NOT cut the broadcast. Jerkfaces. EDIT: I know there's contracts to do stuff on time, blahblahbalh....
------------
Anyway, it's Sunday afternoon, it's NASCAR Sprint Cup Race Day, let's check it out on TV! Now all NASCAR races have been on Fox channel 8 so I turn to it and I see the Formula 1 Canadian GP instead. Apparently, Fox Sports was kind enough to air the F1 broadcast in America so I figured that the NASCAR race was going to be later at night.
So I decide to settle in and watch this F1 race. I started at Lap 50 out of 70 and it's raining. Cool, rain tread tires! Anyway, within the last five laps, it starts increasing in intensity. You have three cars competing for second place who are a bumper's length from each other! Apparently the first place guy was a light year ahead of the competition. So I'm gonna watch this race and see what happens.
*WHOOOOOSSSHHH......*
Within about two laps to go, the middle of the race is interrupted by a Rally's Drive-In commercial. Okay, what the hell's this? Maybe they'll go back to the F1 race, I hope... Next thing you know, they're playing the Local Fox 8 News Broadcast...a telethon for St. Jude's Children Research Hospital hosted by local news anchors. The channel never once returned back to the F1 race.
Wow, how kind of Fox 8. This local broadcast started at EXACTLY 4 PM (CT). Could they have waited five minutes for the F1 race to end? Did they ever think that SOME people were tuned into Channel 8 to see the F1 race? What's the point of watching a race if you're not gonna watch the finish? What do they think this is, some infomercial dreck that no one cares about? Well, guess what Fox 8 New Orleans, SOME OF US DO CARE about Formula 1 races. Here's their website. I tell you this--if this were a Saints game, they would have NOT cut the broadcast. Jerkfaces. EDIT: I know there's contracts to do stuff on time, blahblahbalh....
DOH!!! THANKS!!!
So what did I do next? I called in and made a donation. Well, not really, I thought it would've been funny if I said that (hey I DONATE to causes...I'm not a Scrooge). It's almost like dark comedy...you can't say anything bad about being interrupted by pleas to help innocent kids. Seriously, try cutting the last 30 seconds of a Saints game, or even better, the Superbowl to a St. Jude's telethon and watch the nation's character be tested.
Oh, and the NASCAR race WAS on at the same time...it was on TNT (channel 28). And by the time I had discovered it, the race was over. Jeff Gordon won at Pocono. Kurt Busch drinking a water bottle and having a chat with the reporters. What a piece of crap. Fox 8 sucks but St. Jude's does not.
BTW, this is cool: 
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Why I Go To Extremes (Graduate Schools)
Well maybe I do to to extremes.
Anyway so I've been thinking about this for a while and I'm going to get rid of the "Just Say No To Burnout/Split-Second/FnF" pics cause overall, I'm trying to build up something (Sega racers), not tear something down (bad racing games). I get mad, I don't like some of these things, but I think that may be going over the line (remember, take a bit of sarcasm, not pure unadulterated hate with these things). Don't need to look too sanctimonious here.
EDIT: I'm sorry I went to extremes again. It becomes necessary in the course of human events to "warn" users of my disdain for these games so a smaller, snazzier pic remains. But one that is much more kind I might add.
Fine, you want to go play Burnout? Hey, I'm just saying you might be missing out on SEGA RACERS and that's a shame.
And about the Iggy Koopa pic...well, we can't get rid of that because we know Iggy is bringing the sexy back so he's not going anywhere. Lol, I'm just kidding.
------------
So anyway...I am done applying to FIEA. Read about this gaming college here. So May 6th was the final day to apply. If you pursued the Production track, you had to submit an essay of your own game concept within a week's time limit. If you pursued the Programming track, you had to submit some of your best source code and that's that.
Up until two days before the deadline, I was still dead set on the Production track. I was plugging away at this essay with which you had some freedom to come up with a game. I'll tell you what I was planning on...I was writing about a new Monster Rancher game. Yeah, I want a new Monster Rancher game, now that would be cool. Maybe I'll write about my ideas soon.
But I got stuck with two days left and then I thought to myself, "What am I doing???" I don't think I want to do the Production track after all. So rather than write a monotone essay that they wouldn't like, I found a treasure trove of source code, comment scanned a few things, threw it in a pile, then e-mailed off as my Programming portfolio. The recipient said, "Awesome!" and then that's that. Considering the odds of getting into the school as a programmer was MUCH higher, I think that may have been a "gutsy" call. Then I would be shipped off to Florida where I'll spend a year (and $30,000) staring at a computer screen twelve hours a day.
I had this idea beforehand that producers were the leaders and programmers (aka code monkeys) did all the dirty work. Like the old "chiefs and indians" metaphor. And then rather than play the role of subservient loser my entire career, I could call the shots then go to Sega and make new Daytona games and then save all video games as we know it. But that is sad to pass Programming because there's a few things:
1) My skill set is accomodating to the programming experience.
2) I like programming.
3) It's a tangible job that can keep me employed. This is contrast to producers who run around saying, "Make this, make that," and then they PAY the man for giving them marching orders
4) I wouldn't say I'm TOO creative. My goal is mostly to revamp existing series and make them more solid and fun to play, not to come up with arbitrary games like Psychonauts and Katamari Demacy.
As a programmer, I thought I'd have no mouth and that I must scream because my entire fate was decided by a cabal of producers who want to push buggy movie adaptations upon the market that'll be forgotten in a month because that's MONEY. Well, I do have a mouth and I'll scream at these people (politely, of course). Like, "Hey, maybe we can do this differently and it would be better," or "I've got some ingenious ideas that would be awesome," and then there I go.
EDIT: Just read in Yuji Naka's Wikipedia entry that he started his career for Sega as a programmer. He programmed the original Sonic the Hedgehog and then after that, it was off to the races.
It's like The Sims in that you have to get a job at the bottom of the career ladder then work your way up. So go to school, go to work, keep applying to Sega, get a job there, go to Japan, persuade AM2 to do it, then the rest is history.
So just go to FIEA, take programming and production classes, see what you can learn, then we'll go from there. I'd be lying if I said I was at ease over this, but you gotta do something eventually.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Disney World Trip Day 1 Pics (Wednesday)
This was the family Disney World trip we went on from March 9-12, 2011. Ok, so I played the role of photographer, snapping lots of pics cause I can. I'm only posting so many of them because I don't want to kill someone's 56k connection now, do I?
EDIT: Downsized the images to save bandwidth, click on the pics to see them in 512 x 384...lame.
EDIT: Downsized the images to save bandwidth, click on the pics to see them in 512 x 384...lame.
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 9:
We drove 6 hours starting Tuesday night. Then we crashed at this Comfort Suites in Lake City, FL at about 1 am Wed. Because all the beds were taken, I literally slept on two couch cushions and actually managed to get some sleep. This is a shout out my hotel window. This is also when I wrote this post.
Our hotel room; we only got to stay here for about 6 hours. Then at 9 am, we got in the car and drove off.
At about noon, we FINALLY GET TO DISNEY WORLD and our heads exploded.
We stayed in Fort Wilderness back here...where everyone has a golf kart except for us.
Disney public transportation...you ride this everywhere so get used to it.
But not today cause we hop on a boat to the MAGIC KINGDOM!!!
And we pass by all these buildings like this. Hotels, maybe.
Gordon Freeman's truck, rofl.
We pass by the Steamboat Willie or whatever the heck it is.
We finally made it to the Magic Kingdom!!! Let the memories begin...of torturous car trips, stupid whiny kids, and fighting parents.
NOTE 2: Everything in Disney World has double the prices as everywhere else. A big hamburger at McDonald's costs $3. A hamburger of the same size in Disney World costs $6. So get used to it.
NOTE: Before I go on, I might as well lay out Disney World's biggest weakness...NO HAND SANITIZER. Seriously, no hand sanitizer in the stores but a lot of sunscreen. No such dispensers anywhere either. The happiest place in the worst is also one of the germiest cause everyone's touching everything. So I had to stop in the restrooms to wash my hands all the time. What a piece of crap.
Before you say "hand sanitizer is stupid," what am I supposed to do? Roll around on the floor and stick my fingers in my mouth?
Before you say "hand sanitizer is stupid," what am I supposed to do? Roll around on the floor and stick my fingers in my mouth?
NOTE 2: Everything in Disney World has double the prices as everywhere else. A big hamburger at McDonald's costs $3. A hamburger of the same size in Disney World costs $6. So get used to it.
This is Downtown Disney which sucks cause it's just stores Damn overpriced stores. Everyone's waiting for the parade, but parades suck (except for Mardi Gras parades which are only marginally better).
The Magic Castle or whatever.
But first, we go to Tomorrowland. I wonder if in 20-30 years will this place be called Todayland? Cause I remember coming here about a decade ago and the Tomorrowland theme still existed. WTF
This is the Tomorrowland Speedway which has been here for like 50 years. It's supposed to be the most exciting car ride in the world. This ride is so childish that it makes Cruis'n World look badass.
Thankfully, we were able to cut through the two-hour line and get right on board...thank you Jesus. Well it's just my luck...the #41 car...the HORNET baby!!
We're cruis'n now. But your car is confined to the rails you see before you. And you go 5 mph.
See that orange car in front of me? I'm gonna slingshot and OVERTAKE his ass.
Damn, he seems to keep aluding me...I'd ride the apex of this turn but alas, I cannot do so.
And this is the end of the race. I don't even know what position I came in. But did I set a lap record? Too bad no one's counting.
Thank God I didn't sit in line for two hours for this.
Wow, we were really going 220 mph back there.
Ok, let's get out of Tomorrowland...going back to the lousy present. And we're walking around and stuff.
The Hall of Presidents!!! Debbie Downer's favorite ride.
The Presidential Seal of America. Communists can kiss my ass.
RONALD REAGAN F*** YEAH
READ THE UNITED STATES CONSTITUTION
The Hall of Presidents ride, narrated by Morgan Freeman. As I was leaving, I saw pics of Benjamin Franklin who was apparently tearing up..."I should've been President!!!"
Now for the scary ass Haunted Mansion.
This dude was such a pimp.
NO FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY ALLOWED. Well, the guy didn't say that yet so it was fair game at the moments. Haha, losers waiting in line for this crap.
So these are pictures I took with no flash. As you can see, I was too busy pissing my pants to get a clean shot of the ghosts.
Another terrifying pic.
Ok I get it, these pics suck. I get off the ride having acquired enough nightmare fuel to last a lifetime.
It's a dumb world after all. We didn't go on this cause my mom was too busy walking around confused to do anything. I already know what it's like though.
The elephant ride thing.
After pleading with my parents, I FINALLY go back to the Tomorrowland Arcade. My pilgrimage to the 8-player Daytona cabinet is complete...or is it?
NO F***ING DAYTONA USA CABINETS. They were replaced by 6-player Nascar Arcade setup. Why?????
They did have a deluxe Outrun 2: SP cabinet. This is the first time I played this game in an arcade. The stupid game cost $1.50 despite the fact it says "Insert 3 credits" so each quarter is 1/2 a credit. Stupid jerks.
I didn't like the deluxe cabinet that much though--no stick shift gears and wear & tear made it a nailbiter on my quest to finish Route D (Milky Way).
There was also a twin original OutRun 2 cabinet. This one cost just $1. And I managed to clear Routes B and E which apparently 99% of the arcade population couldn't do looking at the high scores list.
There was also a Mario Kart arcade game which I know jack about. I've seen it multiple times before but anything that's not Fast & Furious is an improvement.
But adjacent to the OR2:SP cabinet was a bigger Fast & Furious cabinet. Now you know why I hate this game so much.
Even worse were three twin FnF cabinets...this game is everywhere, taking over arcades like a cancer...
That's it man, I'm leaving this garbage arcade. At least OR2 made my day...sort of.
I found Donald Duck!!!
We walked by Splash Mountain. I didn't ride it because I'm a wuss who's afraid of heights and vertical drops.
Instead, we went on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride which was just as lame as the Haunted Mansion.
Damn, enough with the garbage dark photos. I yelled out "You suck" to Jack Sparrow cause I literally wanted to walk out on Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest and throw up.
And by then, my camera ran out of batteries. Damn, this "new" camera eats batteries like a fat kid eats freakin cotton candy. I did see Sebastian the Crab and that Candleholder dude from Beauty and the Beast dancing on these pedestals to obnoxious music. What the hell is going on in this place.
And that concludes Wednesday. We went home after visiting a place that I don't think entertained any of us. I then made this post. Three more days left of pics though so stay tuned!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)