Fans Versus Fanboys? Nintendo Versus Sega?

I notice that the word "fanboy" gets thrown out a lot about pretty much anything.  If you like something very much, you're considered a fanboy now.  But what does that mean?  It really doesn't mean anything since it's all semantics--just a blanket statement that means, to some extent, "you suck."  But really, the definition of a fanboy tends to differ per person and it can get confusing at times.

The way I see it, there are "fans" and there are "fanboys."  A fan is basically someone who likes something to a certain extent.  (Ex. He is a fan of the Green Bay Packers and roots for them every game.)  A fanboy, on the other hand, is someone who seems so blinded by his infatuation with something that he rejects any alternatives either by ignorance or faulty logic.  He often acts in a snarky, imposing matter to the point he can no longer be rationalized with.  (Ex. He's an Apple fanboy.  He thinks Macs look the best and that PC's are buggy pieces of crap.  He loves his iPhone and criticizes anyone who doesn't use it.  He says anyone who doesn't use Apple products are stupid.  He idolizes Steve Jobs.  Etc.)

I bring this up on the fly because it seems to be a big f'n deal nowadays.  One reason is because the title of my blog is "Musings of a Sega Racing Fan."  Not fanboy.  Well, you might think from looking at this blog that I'm a huge Sega fanboy--Burnout sucks, FnF sucks, Gran Turismo sucks, Forza sucks, etc.  Look, I'd like to say I've done my research.  I do like other racing games as well as games from other genres such as FPS, rhythm, and strategy.  But for the games I don't like, I do express my reasoning behind them.  What else should I do?  I try.

Besides, if I'm a Sega fanboy, how come I criticize Sega so much?  Cause I call it like I see it, that's why.  Do not doubt me.  I've also expressed things I don't like about Daytona USA 2 and Daytona USA 2001 so it's not like I treat these things like they're perfect.  I do believe they're close to perfection though, that doesn't change.

Sometimes, it really does come down to preference, such as whether you prefer vanilla or chocolate ice cream (I like chocolate more...I can't explain it, it just taste better).  So I guess being a fanboy means using your obsession to make an ass out of yourself.  But you do have to take some of what I say as satire because games like Burnout, Nintendo, World of Warcraft...everyone pisses themselves over these things so I'm just trying to have fun with these guys.  Sometimes I'm joking, but sometimes I'm not..it depends on if they REALLY suck.

 I'm Sean Connery and you are all Alex Trebek.

So the definition of a fanboy can differ people person.  Like you may have a similar definition as mine, but much more tempered--a fanboy is anyone who likes something a lot.  So I guess you can say I'm a fanboy, maybe, but I'll respect people's opinions if they respect mine.  Try to avoid using the term "fanboy" from now on.

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Anyway, speaking of fanboys, here's a glazing example of a "fanboy."  But I'll get to that in a sec.

As an aside, during my early years in Internet surfing, I spent time looking up cheats and walkthroughs for N64 games as well as some Mario fansites.  Hey, check out this funny Nintendo site; my God it still exists.  Very damn funny/stupid site with things like "Create your own game ending," and "Bad Nintendo stories."  Click on "Fun Stuff" to see them.  Here's a few excerpts:

Bad Nintendo Experience:

Sent in by Paul Floco

After 2 hours of non-stop of playing 1942, all the ending was was
"Congratulations" It made me so mad that I beat the game in the 
front door of my house with a baseball bat.

You mad? 

Alternate Goldeneye Ending:

Sent in by Simon Mamane

You would see James Bond and Natalya Simonova will begin to be 
enemies and they will shoot each other with Moonraker Lasers then 
Oddjob, Baron Samadi, Jaws, and Mayday will come out and shoot 
James Bond. But James Bond will not die. He will take out a Golden 
Gun and shoot Oddjob, Baron Samadi, and Natalya Simonova. But 
not Jaws because James Bond will be partners with Jaws.

 Play multiplayer, you can do it there.

Super Mario 64 Changes: 

Sent in by Chris Zinn

There should be a 4 player mode with Luigi, Mario, Yoshi, Peach, Wario,
Donkey Kong, Toad, or Bowser. The mushroom makes you big, the 
fire flower would make you able to shoot fireballs, the Tanooki Suit 
would make you immune to fire and able to turn into a statue, the Frog 
Suit makes you swim very fast, and the Hammer Suit makes you able to 
throw hammers. The starman makes you invincible. The game would 
come with a multitap so you can have 8 player battles. 

My God, give this guy a job at Nintendo, he's a genius!!!

 
Another Bad Nintendo Experience:

Sent in by Anders Messermith

I went to Nintendo's headquarters in Redmond and the security guards 
escorted me out because I was snooping around. 

Damn, should've gone to Sega HQ instead; they'd let you go hog-wild there.

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But anyway, I wanted to learn more about video games in general and what people had to say about them.  So I stumbled upon this Nintendo fansite that detailed a bit of the history of Nintendo.  You mean the mafia connections and love hotels?  NO, we mean the actual games.  So there was a bias towards Nintendo, of course.  When he got to Sony, he replied "Those f***ers!!" in response to the Playstation being the bastard child of Nintendo.  But then things went way overboard when he got to "fan fiction."  Remember that this was back in 2000 when Sega was still in the console business and the two companies hated each others guts.

This is a Mario vs. Sonic fanfiction.  Now this is like my Seong Mina GameFAQs contest in that I remember it but don't have any proof so take my word for it.  The two fought in an arena with half the seats being occupied by Nintendo characters and the other half by Sega characters.  I don't know how it went down, but I know that Sonic struck down Mario and was about to "Finish him!" Mortal Kombat-style.  But before Sonic could kill Mario, Luigi came to Mario's aid and said, "If you're going to kill him, you have to get through me first."  So then Link got up, then Samus, then Fox, then every damn Nintendo character came to Mario's aid versus Sonic.  As for the Sega characters, did they help Sonic?  Heh...they all ran away in fear, leaving Sonic to die.  The end.

In order to counter Mr. Nintendo's wonderful fan fiction, I'll produce my own in response...:

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It's the year 20XX.  Nintendo and Sega have been fighting for decades.  Nintendo had Mario, Zelda, Metroid, etc. but Sega had BLAST PROCESSING so it was an evenly-matched competition for years.  But the two sides came to an agreement that rather than lead millions more soldiers AKA gamers to their doom, they decided to settle this with a one-on-one match between the best each company has to offer.  The winner's company would enslave the loser's company (this is like David & Goliath from the Bible, duh).

So who did Nintendo pick?  Well, they went with Mario because he's so damn sexy and because he's the King of Nintendo.  Who did Sega pick?



So that's what Segata Sanshiro did to Mario.  Mario incinerated into a fireball while yelling his trademark "Waaaahhhh!!" But rather than accept defeat, Link jumped up to defend Mario but Segata impaled him with his Master Sword.  Samus shot her little laser ball thing and Segata deflected it off his chest back at her.  Captain Falcon showed up and Segata did a judo flip on him and showed him his moves.  Then Segata proceeded to kill every single Nintendo character and then Sega went on to be the greatest game company of all time.  The end.

EDIT: This is sarcasm.

Sonic "Low" Riders & Motion Controls

As you probably know, the Microsoft Kinect came out recently.  And with that, the dashboard has changed.  I don't know--the old one was starting to grow on me, but now, I just don't care anymore.  Do whatever you want, Microsoft.  It's your console, not mine.

And with the Kinect comes the new Sonic "Free" Riders game.  Despite the fact that it's a "free" game, you still have to pay $50 for it on release.  In theory, it is a "Sega racer," so we have to mention it.  Well, to be quite honest, after looking at some preview videos a while back on Giant Bomb and whatnot, the game wasn't looking too good.  And now that it's out, Kotaku just rips it.

Kotaku Sonic Free Riders Overview

And here's Jeff Gerstmann playing the game.  You could see he was a bit narcissistic...come on, give it a break, it's a sad Sonic game.  HERE WE GO! (Warning: Some Profanity):



The game itself doesn't look too bad graphically.  As a matter of fact, the environments are damn nice.  The gameplay, barring motion controls, is practically the same thing as in Sonic Riders 1 and 2.  But the controls are so hard to calibrate they say, that they can't even get through the menu to play the game.  Just great.  Why is it that Sega had to use Sonic to test out the Kinect anyway?  WHY SONIC??

I think this game will be compatible with the regular controller, but really, this game was BUILT around the premise of being a Kinect game.  If it can't even get that part right, then that's one-half of the game in the toilet already.  A waste of effort, perhaps?  UPDATE: This game is not compatible with a standard controller so that sucks.

EDITEDITEDIT: Someone from Kotaku offers a counter-point to the previous review.  The controls aren't so bad he says and he tells you something very important:

The tutorial never really spells out that you aren't supposed to crouch unless you're jumping or leaning forward to speed up, but once I figured that out, everything clicked. In the last race I played, I managed to execute a spin jump, dash, ring grab, and another jump before boosting over the finish line, all in rapid succession.

So that clears it up a little, but the game's still up in the air.

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I'm really not gonna lie here.  Why is it that people are pushing motion controls past the Wii so hard these days?  Look at the Sega CD.  Ooh, you get to play the games on a CD.  Well, it took the sacrificial lambs that were Sega CD, Phillips CD-i, Atari Jaguar and (to a certain extent) Sega Saturn until CD-based games came around in the form of the Sony Playstation.  Like I mean, barring a few good Nintendo Wii titles, motion control is crap.  It was crap back during the Power Glove, and only Nintendo has been able to save face in terms of this motion control travesty.

I'm gonna go ahead and say this.  Making a game look better or use new technology is the last thing on my mind.  I want DAMN GOOD GAMES first and foremost.  Like people are more concerned with making their games look good than to make sure that they're actually, you know, FUN.  Please, stop it, stop it, STTOOOPPPP IIITTTT!!!!!!!!!!  Oh and before you say "Nintendo Wii," well their library's crap so don't bother.

EDITEDITEDIT: Oh yeah, and I was looking around on Giant Bomb some more and here's Jeff playing MotionSports, a horrendous abomination that further reinforces my belief that motion-control games suck.   

WARNING: Even more profanity and and an obscene gesture.  But it's hilarious, no doubt!  "I want to marry this guy."  "Rider, meet horse; horse, meet rider."  "Smile for the camera! *weird face* "One of my favorite videos from these guys.



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Anyway, also worth mentioning is that Goldeneye Wii is finally out.  It's a hit with reviewers, all in the 8.0+ range.  Here's GameSpot's review.  Anyway, I don't know what to say.  These are the same reviewers that got thrills over Split/Second so who knows if the game's really worth it.  At least it's something a little less mainstream for you people.  I already talked a lot about this game already so it's not like I have anything new to say.