Better To Be Pissed Off Than To Be Pissed On

There's really a hundred different ways I can address this story, but since I'm tired, I'm going to make it as brief as possible...

Sega made a game for urinals.  Piss on the target and you win.  I'm not making this stuff up; click here.  Wait, what's going on?

Now, I know this is in Japan and I know that Sega has to be the "bad boy" to make money (cause other companies like Nintendo and Capcom have one-upped them in terms of professionalism and quality products) buy my goodness, couldn't they invest their time into some real games?  BTW, I could "cheat" by bringing in a water bottle or a super soaker--HIGH SCORE BABY.  Who has that kind of a bladder?

I may talk up Sega, but they're still a huge enigma as far as I'm concerned.  You take a look and you've got Sonic over there, Yakuza over there, et. al. but the rest, I have no idea what the hell's going on.  Like who expected this:

Could be worse, it could've been one of those hentai/lolicon/weirdo games.  Instead, this is just one of those little mingame things like WarioWare.

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Quick, get these links in here:

Sega Dreamcast compilation game is real and coming out for 360/PS3 next year, what other games will be on it is not known.

Platinum Games making more stuff for Sega.

Spike VGA's drop in ratings
bwahahaha, jerkoffs are going down...

And these are semi-old but read them anyway.  1-up interviews with Yu Suzuki.  Talks about Shenmue 3 (ideas he has that he'll never use cause S3 will never exist), talks about Model 1/2 boards with Lockheed Martin, talks about AM2, talks about the Dreamcast, talks about Nagoshi and that crap.  It's actually quite lengthy.

Part 1
Part 2

He really doesn't talk about anything but this is as close as it gets to Sega racers:

JM: How do you feel the gamer has changed? The industry is still very young -- only 35 years-old or so -- but 15 years ago you created Daytona USA. Look at how much has changed in that time. In Hang-On you have only one motorcycle. Games like Daytona you only have two or three cars to choose from. Now, Gran Turismo 5 is out and it has over a thousand cars in the game. Personally, I'll never use 1,000 cars, maybe only 6 of them. Do you think people have now mistaken quantity for quality? Is there such a thing as too much?


YS: Yeah, user expectations are to blame, too. If given the option of 1000 cars and 10 cars in a game, the user will most likely take the game with 1,000 cars. Games with fewer options can't compete on the same level because the user will always choose the game with more cars.

...

JM: OK. Now for something completely random. Did you really own an F355?

YS: Yeah, I still do.

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Throw in one more thing to this terrible lump of a post.  So I replay Crazy Taxi on 360 on Arcade course and now I get $67,000 with Gus.  I wasted too much time looking for people.  If you get stuck around Square Park or Borders Paradise places, you'll run out of people.  You just have to hope that your passengers will take you around the Fire Station area because that's where you get a lot of people late in the game.

Some More Sega Insight (Publishing Is Not Game Design)

You know, right now I get on Sega a lot for being down.  I mean, I can sit here and act like Sega's the king, but come on, Sega's my team and I stick by them through thick and thin.  And when they suck, I say they suck.

If you do look at today's Sega lineup, you see they've got some decent stuff with the Sega logo on it...Bayonetta's good.  The Conduit, Alpha Protocol, all your boys.  But are all these games developed by Sega?  Answer: NO.  Most are just published by Sega and produced by other developers.  Here's just some big Sega-published games that have come out recently and links to what other games the developers have worked on:

Bayonetta* - Platinum Games (boasts some of Capcom's staff from Viewtiful Joe, Resident Evil, Devil May Cry and Okami)
Vanquish - See Bayonetta
The Conduit - High Voltage Software (also Dora the Explorer, Ben10, Family Guy, lol see for yourself)
Alpha Protocol - Obsidian Entertainment (also Star Wars: KotOR, Neverwinter Nights, Fallout: Vegas)
Empire: Total War - Creative Assembly (also a million other "Total War" games)
Alien vs. Predator - Rebellion (and some Pro Darts game, WTG guys)
Sonic Rush - Dimps Corporation (also Sonic 4, Sonic Colors, and some Dragonball Z crap)

* About Bayonetta, I've done a little research--I've read over GameFAQs, Wikipedia, I just don't see Sega doing that much with this game other than publishing it. There's a few Sega references (as well as some Capcom ones like Devil May Cry and Resident Evil), but to me, I see Sega coming up with pieces of a game, handing it over to some Capcom guys, and that's it. I may be wrong but I'm pretty sure that's what happened. Even if Sega was partially responsible for the final product, they would still be nothing without Platinum Games. BTW, I also heard Sega was responsible for the PS3 port which sucked compared to the 360 version so that helps Sega's case, doesn't it?

Compare this to games like Daytona USA, OutRun, Virtua Fighter, old Sonic the Hedgehog--games that were MADE AND PUBLISHED BY Sega.  There's still a few games like that today, like Yakuza, Super Monkey Ball, Virtua Fighter, (EDIT: I forgot to add Valkyria Chronicles...I think) and, if you can believe it, Initial D (up to stage 5 now), but let's not act like Sega's this juggernaut cause they've got Bayonetta or Sonic Rush.  Just don't give me any of that nonsense. 

I mean, compare Sega to Nintendo.  They're also guilty of handing off some of their games to third-party devs (it's hard to tell, some may be second-party), like Star Fox: Assault (Namco), Zelda: Oracle of Seasons/Ages (Flagship), and Mario Hoops 3 on 3 (Square Enix *choke*), but for the most part, you can expect a steady lineup of Nintendo games BY NINTENDO THEMSELVES (first/secondish-parties count like Game Freak, HAL Laboratory, Intelligent Systems, etc.) on an annual basis (usually Mario, Zelda, Pokemon, Super Smash Bros, etc.).  Of course, I don't mind third-parties making games here and there, as long as they don't overdo it...

Sega on the other hand seems interested in mortgaging a lot of their games to other companies.  Like instead of making a good festive Sega game themselves, they hand it off to Sumo Digital to make Sonic & Sega All Stars Racing and that Sega Tennis Superstar game.  Also, look at these new Sonics being made by this Dimps company--what a disgrace!!  Why did Sonic Team themselves have to SUCK SO BAD???


You know, if you could at least fix the controls or the load times on this a bit, maybe it could be DECENT, but no.  DANKE!

You know, I feel like the biggest jerk in the world right now cause all I do is sit here and lambast everything, like The Powers That Be are out to get me for being such an asshat.  But really, come on Sega, I know you can do better than this.  Like I don't know if there is poor leadership down at Sega HQ or they're all high or drunk (I know Nagoshi is), I don't know.  The only part of Sega that's still keeping the pulse alive is Sega AM2 especially with Virtua Fighter and OutRun 2.  God Bless Them.  They made OutRun, they made Daytona USA (yes, I know T. Nagoshi had a hand in it, but it still had the AM2 Stamp of Approval on it), they made Virtua Fighter, etc.

*sheds a tear*

But nonetheless, all the wheels are coming off the Sega bus--I don't know what else to say.  Like how did a great developer with their own line of consoles turn into crap like this over half a decade?  WHY????  Really, this happened because of the Sega CD/32X/Saturn/Dreamcast lineup which the latter consoles had some hits but after that, the train went off the cliff and that's all she wrote.

I'm just bummed out again, I can't talk about it anymore.  Yeah, I'm not feeling good right now, but I'll make it through, like I usually do...