Friday, April 22, 2011

Fans Versus Fanboys? Nintendo Versus Sega?

I notice that the word "fanboy" gets thrown out a lot about pretty much anything.  If you like something very much, you're considered a fanboy now.  But what does that mean?  It really doesn't mean anything since it's all semantics--just a blanket statement that means, to some extent, "you suck."  But really, the definition of a fanboy tends to differ per person and it can get confusing at times.

The way I see it, there are "fans" and there are "fanboys."  A fan is basically someone who likes something to a certain extent.  (Ex. He is a fan of the Green Bay Packers and roots for them every game.)  A fanboy, on the other hand, is someone who seems so blinded by his infatuation with something that he rejects any alternatives either by ignorance or faulty logic.  He often acts in a snarky, imposing matter to the point he can no longer be rationalized with.  (Ex. He's an Apple fanboy.  He thinks Macs look the best and that PC's are buggy pieces of crap.  He loves his iPhone and criticizes anyone who doesn't use it.  He says anyone who doesn't use Apple products are stupid.  He idolizes Steve Jobs.  Etc.)

I bring this up on the fly because it seems to be a big f'n deal nowadays.  One reason is because the title of my blog is "Musings of a Sega Racing Fan."  Not fanboy.  Well, you might think from looking at this blog that I'm a huge Sega fanboy--Burnout sucks, FnF sucks, Gran Turismo sucks, Forza sucks, etc.  Look, I'd like to say I've done my research.  I do like other racing games as well as games from other genres such as FPS, rhythm, and strategy.  But for the games I don't like, I do express my reasoning behind them What else should I do?  I try.

Besides, if I'm a Sega fanboy, how come I criticize Sega so much?  Cause I call it like I see it, that's why.  Do not doubt me.  I've also expressed things I don't like about Daytona USA 2 and Daytona USA 2001 so it's not like I treat these things like they're perfect.  I do believe they're close to perfection though, that doesn't change.

Sometimes, it really does come down to preference, such as whether you prefer vanilla or chocolate ice cream (I like chocolate more...I can't explain it, it just taste better).  So I guess being a fanboy means using your obsession to make an ass out of yourself.  But you do have to take some of what I say as satire because games like Burnout, Nintendo, World of Warcraft...everyone pisses themselves over these things so I'm just trying to have fun with these guys.  Sometimes I'm joking, but sometimes I'm depends on if they REALLY suck.

 I'm Sean Connery and you are all Alex Trebek.

So the definition of a fanboy can differ people person.  Like you may have a similar definition as mine, but much more tempered--a fanboy is anyone who likes something a lot.  So I guess you can say I'm a fanboy, maybe, but I'll respect people's opinions if they respect mine.  Try to avoid using the term "fanboy" from now on.


Anyway, speaking of fanboys, here's a glazing example of a "fanboy."  But I'll get to that in a sec.

As an aside, during my early years in Internet surfing, I spent time looking up cheats and walkthroughs for N64 games as well as some Mario fansites.  Hey, check out this funny Nintendo site; my God it still exists.  Very damn funny/stupid site with things like "Create your own game ending," and "Bad Nintendo stories."  Click on "Fun Stuff" to see them.  Here's a few excerpts:

Bad Nintendo Experience:

Sent in by Paul Floco

After 2 hours of non-stop of playing 1942, all the ending was was
"Congratulations" It made me so mad that I beat the game in the 
front door of my house with a baseball bat.
You mad? 

Alternate Goldeneye Ending:

Sent in by Simon Mamane

You would see James Bond and Natalya Simonova will begin to be 
enemies and they will shoot each other with Moonraker Lasers then 
Oddjob, Baron Samadi, Jaws, and Mayday will come out and shoot 
James Bond. But James Bond will not die. He will take out a Golden 
Gun and shoot Oddjob, Baron Samadi, and Natalya Simonova. But 
not Jaws because James Bond will be partners with Jaws.
 Play multiplayer, you can do it there.
Super Mario 64 Changes: 
Sent in by Chris Zinn

There should be a 4 player mode with Luigi, Mario, Yoshi, Peach, Wario,
Donkey Kong, Toad, or Bowser. The mushroom makes you big, the 
fire flower would make you able to shoot fireballs, the Tanooki Suit 
would make you immune to fire and able to turn into a statue, the Frog 
Suit makes you swim very fast, and the Hammer Suit makes you able to 
throw hammers. The starman makes you invincible. The game would 
come with a multitap so you can have 8 player battles. 
My God, give this guy a job at Nintendo, he's a genius!!!
Another Bad Nintendo Experience:
Sent in by Anders Messermith

I went to Nintendo's headquarters in Redmond and the security guards 
escorted me out because I was snooping around. 
Damn, should've gone to Sega HQ instead; they'd let you go hog-wild there.


But anyway, I wanted to learn more about video games in general and what people had to say about them.  So I stumbled upon this Nintendo fansite that detailed a bit of the history of Nintendo.  You mean the mafia connections and love hotels?  NO, we mean the actual games.  So there was a bias towards Nintendo, of course.  When he got to Sony, he replied "Those f***ers!!" in response to the Playstation being the bastard child of Nintendo.  But then things went way overboard when he got to "fan fiction."  Remember that this was back in 2000 when Sega was still in the console business and the two companies hated each others guts.

This is a Mario vs. Sonic fanfiction.  Now this is like my Seong Mina GameFAQs contest in that I remember it but don't have any proof so take my word for it.  The two fought in an arena with half the seats being occupied by Nintendo characters and the other half by Sega characters.  I don't know how it went down, but I know that Sonic struck down Mario and was about to "Finish him!" Mortal Kombat-style.  But before Sonic could kill Mario, Luigi came to Mario's aid and said, "If you're going to kill him, you have to get through me first."  So then Link got up, then Samus, then Fox, then every damn Nintendo character came to Mario's aid versus Sonic.  As for the Sega characters, did they help Sonic?  Heh...they all ran away in fear, leaving Sonic to die.  The end.

In order to counter Mr. Nintendo's wonderful fan fiction, I'll produce my own in response...:


It's the year 20XX.  Nintendo and Sega have been fighting for decades.  Nintendo had Mario, Zelda, Metroid, etc. but Sega had BLAST PROCESSING so it was an evenly-matched competition for years.  But the two sides came to an agreement that rather than lead millions more soldiers AKA gamers to their doom, they decided to settle this with a one-on-one match between the best each company has to offer.  The winner's company would enslave the loser's company (this is like David & Goliath from the Bible, duh).

So who did Nintendo pick?  Well, they went with Mario because he's so damn sexy and because he's the King of Nintendo.  Who did Sega pick?

So that's what Segata Sanshiro did to Mario.  Mario incinerated into a fireball while yelling his trademark "Waaaahhhh!!" But rather than accept defeat, Link jumped up to defend Mario but Segata impaled him with his Master Sword.  Samus shot her little laser ball thing and Segata deflected it off his chest back at her.  Captain Falcon showed up and Segata did a judo flip on him and showed him his moves.  Then Segata proceeded to kill every single Nintendo character and then Sega went on to be the greatest game company of all time.  The end.

EDIT: This is sarcasm.

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