Saturday, October 6, 2012

Danica's New Wheels (GODADDY, GO GO GO GO)

Ooooooo, now we know what Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing: Transformed spokeswoman Danica Patrick's in-game car looks like in Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing: Transformed and it is this:

To be honest, I think she looks fine.  They even got her breast size right!  Ok, I don't want to sound like a creep here.  But really, I think the realistic style is best and that's how I thought she would be.  Cartoony would've sucked.  Again, her appearance reminds me of Brooke Burke from Pocketbike Racer but so what...this is DANICA we're talking about here.  Danica doing Nationwide commercials with Junior...I mean, two of my MOST FAVORITE DRIVERS of all time in one commercial, doesn't get any better than that.

Now for the car.  Well, for some dumb reason, I thought she would be driving the blue Sonic All-Stars Racing car from the E3 presentation which ruined my life.  I didn't think she would be driving the Hornet either--I mean, it wouldn't logically make sense, like if Danica, Jacky Bryant, or Segata Sanshiro were driving the car, it would merge two characters in one.  Yes, I consider the Hornet to be its own standalone character so it doesn't need a special driver.  Remember Fighters Megamix?  Leave the Hornet on its own.

But we have an Indy Car here.  With SIX WHEELS.  And I think it looks cool even if the Go Daddy and Hot Wheels ads are just there for some goofy ass reason but so what cause I like Hot Wheels and Go Daddy commercials make me laugh (shame on me).  But it's strange because Danica basically quit Indy Car to drive full-time in NASCAR.  So why would Danica reassociate herself with Indy Car?

EDIT: It just dawned on me--there were five Sega Hot Wheels a while back (2003)--regular cars with paint jobs from Jet Set Radio, Space Channel 5, Super Monkey Ball, House of the Dead, and Shinobi.  No Hornet unfortunately, WHAT A DISGRACEFUL MOVE BY HOT WHEELS.  MICRO MACHINES WERE BETTER ANYWAY.  See them here.

I just thought of a conspiracy.  Danica isn't driving a stock car because there's already one in the game...HORNET CONFIRMED FOR SEGA ALL-STARS RACING 2.  Or it could be because Indy Cars are more appealing to the general worldwide audience.  EDIT: I guess this also deconfirms the Virtua Racing car, but that was a long shot anyway.  Danica is gonna be one of my go-to characters (assuming the Hornet is not in cause I would pick it 100% of the time).  Show those pathetic Sega message boarders who piss and moan about Danica who's boss (DEBRIS ON THE TRACK!!!).  I guarantee that even though Danica can't win in real life, she'll win in the game!!!

Anyway, just some fun news for you about Go Daddy.  About a month ago, millions of GoDaddy websites and domains went down.  A hacker from Anonymous took claim for it.  Basically, some man-child in his mother's basement took down a good chunk of the Internet.  I should know because my game studio's website was down for a moment.

Spoiler alert--I registered the domain "" a few months ago.  And now you know about this startling revelation even though it's been right up there in your URL bar for months.  Just $10 bucks a year.  What good it does for me, I don't know, I just don't like the "blogspot" part of the domain I suppose.  But what it has to do with Go Daddy?  When I clicked to register the domain, it said "You'll register this domain with Go Daddy.  Is this okay?"  And I chickened out at the last minute since I'm not 100% on board with Go Daddy (the whole SOPA debacle didn't help their cause any).  Pressed cancel, clicked again, it offered me some other host and there I go.  Turns out had I stuck with Go Daddy, my site would've been down.  And that would've been a horrible day in all of our lives.

But in a twist, GoDaddy said it wasn't hacked and that it had experienced internal network issues instead (the Anonymous guy lied).  We don't know if Go Daddy is BSing us, but if they were, we know the reason why the servers went down.  Clearly when Danica posted her new spread, the massive amount of traffic that ensued caused the servers to implode.  Yes, that's most certainly what happened.

Every time we talk about Danica, we need at least one Go Daddy commercial so here goes:

Danica's pet beaver.

Anyway, one more joke for the road.  Also a month ago at the Atlanta Nationwide race, there was controversy as Brad Keslowski threw a plastic water bottle out the window of his car which presumably led to a yellow flag due to "debris."  It's debatable that Brad threw the bottle after the yellow flag was out and his littering was irrelevant.  Kevin Harvick got mad at Brad because the yellow flag cost both of them the race (Kevin had a big lead but the caution forced Kevin to pit for gas or something and gave Ricky Stenhouse Jr. the win).  And I'm on RaceBuddy,'s free service that allows you to preview a couple of live car cams as the race happens, and people will post SFW things that are still idiotic "GO 88888888888888" OR "DENNY BLOW UP ALREADY."  Everyone still gives Danica a hard time and someone blurts out something along the lines of, "Danica should throw her bra out on the track."  I lost it then.  A juvenile story but I had to pad the length of this post with SOMETHING so there you go.  Adios.

EDIT: Just ordered Sonic & Sega All Stars Racing: Transformed BONUS EDITION off Amazon today.  $40 for just the game plus shipping (Amazon has free 5-10 day shipping if you like), it costs the same as the regular SaSASR:T version but with Metal Sonic and the OutRun course so buy the bonus version NOW or else.  I even went the distance and paid an extra $10 for one-day shipping so I can play it by Nov. 21.  Pshyeah, I'm a hardcore gamer.  *wegotabadass.jpg*

1 comment:

  1. Looks like they took the Danicar and redesigned the heck out of it. I still gotta pre-order my copy, now that I have an XBox again.