Thursday, July 12, 2012

Burnout Needs More Flipping SUVs

Hello folks, I have a big stack of stuff to talk about but not enough time so I'll leave you with this brief post.  I was browsing an article on Need for Speed: Most Wanted (the new one) and my eye glazed over something interesting in this promotional image:

See that Ford Explorer police SUV in the upper right corner with the red arrow photoshopped on it?  Anyone mind telling me why that 2-ton SUV is popping a wheelie on its back right tire like that?  Not just a normal wheelie--this is a BIG wheelie that's about to roll the damn brick over which doesn't make any sense.  Ever try to not just roll a car but flip three wheels (as opposed to two or four) at once?  Not that easy.

Did the SUV hit some other car?  No, doesn't look like there was anything in its path (besides that other SUV it's about to hit) plus there's no visible damage present meaning it didn't plow into anything, I guess.

Did the SUV hit a bump or a ramp?  Nope, just flat pavement with a few rain puddles.  Sure, there was that curb/sidewalk to its right but hitting that would elevate right side, not the left.  Maybe it was trying to counter-steer the right wheelie and flipped the left tires as a result.  But then why are the front wheels pointing straight as if the driver wasn't reacting to the flip at all?

Also the SUV is driving in the opposite direction of the criminal which means it had to build up a lot of speed heading straight for that other SUV & railing (ker-splash into the water) which makes no f'n sense whatsoever.  Wrong way, buddy.  To elevate three wheels (as opposed to four) on a heavy SUV that high with nothing nearby to instigate liftoff is befuddling.

So what's REALLY happening here?  Was there some ramp off-screen we didn't see?  Was the dumbass cop trying to turn on a dime so hard that it rolled itself in the process?  Did the SUV use hydraulics?  Did the cop go into "stupid AI mode" like in GTA/Driver in that they bounce recklessly off every damn thing (including the innocent drivers they're trying to protect) in a vain attempt to wreck you?  Or did Criterion dumb down the car physics so everything bounces around like plastic bottles filled with helium?

That cop's just playing Cruis'n World, what else.

No, seriously, check out the hi-res image for yourself and see.  WTF, Criterion.  Flipping cars over in unrealistic fashion in promo images--this is too much.  Police will do anything to stop criminals.  Token John Bunnell introduction.  Put him in Most Wanted and I'll change my mind on this lousy POS game.  Joyriders in luxury cars think this is fun & games but to us cops, IT'S A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH.


  1. Oh, that? They're showing off how the game engine can accurately depict Newton's third law of motion in-game. See, this effect is achieved by the simultaneous action of the vehicle hitting a deep pothole (barely visible if at all), and the driver attempting to perform a BARREL ROLL, which, depending on how it is pulled off, results in a similar result as shown in the image.

    Of course, the driver completely failed and landed on its side, with enough momentum to go flying off the bridge. But as long as it looks cool, everyone goes home happy. Peanuts for everyone!

  2. BTW, I should mention I'm not employed at Criterion.