Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Kotaku Proving Their Racing Game Brilliance Once Again...

No surprise that a day after I post my big-ass list on all the game companies and their racing titles that Kotaku has to come out with this.  Just take a look for yourself.

First of all, I don't even know why they made this guide in the first place.  I thought racing games were "crap" according to the mainstream gamer.  In the words of Marie Antoinette, "Let them play FPSes and RPGs."  Okay, so she didn't say that, but you get the point.  Racing games will soon be merged with "action games" and then no one will care about them.  Which is why you get ridiculous crap like Split/Second and Carmageddon, cause normal racing games are too boring, lol

Anyway, if you didn't pick up on the main glaring flaw on this list, then let me kick it into your head: NO DAYTONA USA.  No way, no how.  Instead you get Ridge Racer.  There's only two things related to Sega in that article and that is OutRun (original) and Yu Suzuki (referenced as creator of Hang-On).  Other than that, nothing.  Let me spell that out for you--
Makes me wanna puke.  Why this is relevant is because Daytona USA is one of the highest--if not THE HIGHEST grossing arcade racer ever.  Up there with Pac-Man and Street Fighter 2 in terms of profits.  Sad that games like Daytona USA 2 and Scud Race will get zero face time too, but that's to be understood since even Sega has abandoned them.  No one knows about those games anyway.

Hey, some comments on that article are crying out the same thing!  Wow, we actually have more than five our six people in this world who like Daytona USA.  I'm stunned.

Hey, I just noticed no Cruis'n USA/World/Exotica, Fast and the Furious, or Split/Second on there MWAHAHAHAHA.  So this list isn't so bad after all.  It mentioned a few games that I should've added to the that list--click here to read it because it is educational.  Let the idiots bicker over the lack of F-Zero as well as how Forza is referred to as a "semi-simulation" racer.

I guess the list was made to cherish racing games and not put them down, so you can't totally hate the man.  Then again, it's nice that Kotaku would "give the dog a bone," so to speak.

Also, check out the quote at the top:

Faster isn't good enough.

Speed alone will not win the race.  You need the cunning to out-think your opposition, the awarenes to find your opening, the courage to take risks, and the skill to bend your vehicle to your will.  Without these skills, speed means nothing.

You can always fail faster.

That sounds awe-inspiring--put it on an inspiration poster, please (first person to photoshop me something wins a prize).  However, it seems they forgot to spell-check the damn thing.  Congratulations, you guys are geniuses.  Bend the vehicle to your will--wow, now that's a foreign concept to the little geniuses out there.  I thought racing games weren't supposed to take skill.  But really, this is flattering, I must say.

Now that's it, I'm done, I quit, I hate video games and I hate everybody, goodbye.


  1. awesome vid, great editorial! I saw this kotaku post and man, i felt the same. These guys have no clue about the 'history' of racing games!! Big fail on kotaku! I was equally shocked no Daytona USA! What abunch of losers!! = )

  2. Yeah, but Kotaku's gone the way of G4TV--just too obnoxious for me to care what it says. I still read them for news and stuff. Jalopnik may be more qualified to write a racing game list...