Friday, June 8, 2012

Sonic & Danica, Lolwut

I must say this year's E3 was very entertaining.  Entertaining in that we had lots of things to poke fun at!  Seriously, when they closed E3 to the public, gamers wanted back in so they opened it up again.  Now gamers want to get out of there as soon as possible.  What's going on, people.

But anyway, OMGZ YUO GAISSSSS HERD DA NEEEEWWWWWZZZZ, Danica Patrick is in Sega All-Stars Racing 2!!!!  And there's about one billion articles on this very story on gaming sites, racing sites, sports sites, even on CNBC (???).  News bloggers/repeaters copied and pasted everything they saw from the other schmuck..."Gamers will get the chance to test their racing abilities as Danica against an All-Star cast of SEGA characters including Sonic, Knuckles, AiAi and others."  Yada yada yada, like 95% of the people who post these articles care (or even know) about Sega characters or Danica Patrick.

Also love the Masanao Maeda (President & COO of Sega of America) quote:

"Danica Patrick is one of the most popular athletes in the world and her accomplishments both on and off the track make her the perfect partner for Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed. Danica’s involvement showcases the broad appeal of this title – everyone from casual gamers to hard core racing fans will be able to enjoy the fun."

Most popular in the world??  Maybe in your dreams, she is...

Hey look guys, I can Ctrl-C, Ctrl-V too!  It's secret agent DarthSOL (from Sumo Digital)!

"You know, when they (SEGA) pitched us the idea we went ‘The fans will go wild…’ I think they didn’t get what we meant from that though.

End of the day she hasn’t replaced any SEGA characters, she’s an extra and we’re very happy with the vehicle design we’ve done for her, which incidentally isn’t the one you might think it is."

I can understand why there's so few Daytona fans left.  Cause when you are teased like this on a consistent basis, no wonder so many jumped ship.  We're doomed, we're dead, I'm on the roof and if I see one more Need for Speed advertisement, I'm gonna jump.  EDIT: I'm just kidding...if DarthSOL is reading this, we love ya buddy :p

Anyway, I wonder how far Sega will go with factoring Danica into the game's presentation/advertisements.  She's driving the blue #7 Sega car at the Nationwide race at Texas on November 3rd.  Which is a crap day because everything will be enshrouded by the Presidential Election.  As for the game, I have a hunch she may be the race announcer/narrator (they said the old announcer is gone).  What she looks like (realistic, cartoony, etc.) and what the car looks like is beyond me.

But anyway, I will not flip a bitch about the Danica pick like 2/3rds of the gamers on the Internet have done (i.e. Sega sold out, they don't know anything, Danica sucks cause she only won one race, NASCAR sucks).  I mean just think about it--this is Sega we're talking about, you get used to these kind of things by now :)

Hmm....imposing a real-life female "bombshell" actor onto a fictional arcade racer...think I've seen this before:

That's Brooke Burke, Need for Speed: Underground 2 narrator and 5-year host of Dancing with the Stars!!  And she's a BABE (apparently).  And Pocketbike Racer is the greatest driving sim known to man.

A Danica thread is never complete without Go Daddy commercials.

I admit, I lol'ed...

That's it, two GoDaddy commercials is ENOUGH.

But wait--there's also this! ...

Hey Sega, none of this would've been an issue if YOU JUST ANNOUNCED THE HORNET AND/OR SEGATA SANSHIRO AS PLAYABLE CHARACTERS.  Dammit, it's time for bed, I'll talk more smack tomorrow, I swear.  But here guys, this is to cheer you up:

I love this corporation...GOOD EFFORT!!  GOOD JOB!!

EDIT: Rather than make a new post on this, here's Danica doing a brief interview with Kotaku/Gametrailers/I don't know who so just listen in anyway:

A lot of this ain't new but it's just strange to hear Danica repeat what we've already heard--"you go by land, you go by sea, and you go by air...the race combines all of them and I'm a character you can play."  I get the sense she doesn't know that much about the game, but what do you expect from a new spokesperson who has had very little to do with video games up until now?  Yeah, like I was expecting Danica to reveal Daytona spoilers in the video, lol, fat chance...

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