Saturday, November 17, 2012


Stop right there, you must read this or your family, friends, and pets will die in a fire:

I'll set you a challange. Without any policing from the SUMO or SEGA crew, if you can all agree on three characters by the 1st of December and prove there is sufficient interest of at least 1000 unique people *per* character, I will present the result to SEGA. I can't promise anything will happen as a result, but since you're starting it... - DarthS0L

EDIT: The means for character voting has changed.  GO TO THIS THREAD and there are links to petitions for each character.  Pick the characters you want, sign 'em, and that's it!  You can sign as many petitions as you want.  Here's Ryo's petition.  And Segata's petition.  Look, you don't even need to make a Sega message board account anymore to vote.  Just go there, it takes 15 seconds and you'll do us all a favor!!!

I personally petitioned for the elusive Daytona USA 2 transformer, made up of the Scorpio Car, the Chums Gum Boat, and the Phantom Jet.  What...Daytona 2 needs some love too?  And Scud Race.  And Sega Rally.  Damn Hornet steals all the attention.  Too bad my idea didn't go through.

But THERE'S MORE SECRET CHARACTERS!  These characters are on the disc but they had to be hacked to get the videos you see here.  There's only twenty-three slots on character select screen.  Wait, are these guys platform exclusives or are they on-disc DLC?  If they are DLC, why Sumo, why???  Well, you paid $40 for the game, just shut up and let Sumo take your money.

Jolly good show, mate!  I'm in Sega All-Stars Racing, that's massive!!!

There's gonna be a bunch of flak taken for this character. I mean, a FOOTBALL MANAGER character??? Fantastic! I am actually not bothered by this. Everyone loves British accents. And that silver Rolls Royce is pretty cool. Notice the helmet? You were never meant to see this bloke's eyes and hair. Couldn't see them on the box art, couldn't see them in this game.

I was going to make a funny joke about being in first place but that's the second stereotype I played up in this post and I don't want to blow it.  Well, everyone loves Japanese samurai dudes...the car's pretty cool, made out of wood like a 70's station wagon but if you're gonna put an Asian in the game...why not Ryo?  Or Segata Sanshiro?  SUMO IS A DISGRACE TO SEGA!!! 

It's Alex Kidd, I have nothing funny to say about him.

No, Sumo, that's wrong.  We need the Sniper...he actually drives in his "Meet the ___" video.

Once Gaben takes over, he'll make his own Valve kart racer.  And for the first time in the History of the World, Reddit Gaming will actually care about a racing game (DAE PLAY THIS GAEM???).

Also, watch out guys, pieces of Billy Hatcher, Jacky Bryant, and Zobio & Zobiko were found in the code.  I know Billy was cut (S0L said so) but these guys may be set for future DLC.  Yes, they can bring Billy back, I believe it!  Just vote in the thread above, buy the game, and rate it 10/10 on all the terrible websites like GameFAQs, please.

EDIT: So guys on the Sega forums are spamming links to the thread on various forums, including Kotaku and Reddit.  Kotaku is a joke of a gaming site, only post about bad aspects of Japanese culture, snack food, Reddit reposts, and the occasional article about how awesome of a gamer you are because you play Assassin's Creed/Portal/Halo/Minecraft.  Reddit cares more about stuff that doesn't even deserve to make the front page on /r/midlyinteresting, such as this:


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