Sunday, January 8, 2012

You're Killing Me Namco, GameFAQs, Sonic Fans!!!

Well here's a few things on the backburner I would like to mention.  More complaints from yours truly, yay.

First, I would like to begin by applauding Namco for being the greatest, most classiest game developer ever.  They truly blow my mind.  The way they handle their IP's like a pro.  And how they advertise them too.

Ivy Valentine's cleavage in a Namco ad.  Borderline NSFW.

I don't get why the first commenter of the feature discussion (a feminazi who blasted the hell out of Duke Nukem Forever) thought this was okay.  If this isn't objectifying women, I don't know what is.  The entire poster is Ivy's breasts.  How can you defend this?  I don't have a problem with scantily-clad women in games as long as it's not overdone and the women resemble some sort of "beauty."  But now Namco has run out of ideas, resorting to Tecmo's tactics to gain relevance.  Hey, you can strip down any character to their underwear thanks to their extensive customization options so isn't it the same thing as DOA Beach Volleyball but with more violence?

Taking a look at Namco-Bandai's releases in the last few years, they're in Sega's boat in that they're putting out games but most are rehashes or developed by other studios.  And you never hear about anything Namco-related from the blogs other than Soul Calibur and (awful) Ridge Racer so what's the point?  Namco is a benchwarmer now.  At least Sega has "prestige" because Sonic gets some press as does Nagoshi & Suzuki with their antics.  No wonder Namco is desperate...sticking a camera in front of a fictional character's breasts.

EDIT: A month later, Namco has also created ads of Cassanda's ass and Voldo's nether region.  I'm not making this stuff up.  And no, I'm not going to link to it.  Soul Calibur is dead.

Namco will never live up to RBI Baseball...THAT'S RIGHT, the true Namco hero, alongside Pac-Man, Dig-Dug, the Galaga ship, and Mappy the friggin mouse.


Now on to GameFAQs.  Thanks F40 for rehashing this poll so I could notice.  So they run a poll on 1/7/12 that says "Best Download-only Game of 2011."  Here are your choices:

Dungeons of Dredmor
From Dust
The Binding of Isaac
Trine 2

The votes are irrelevant since Bastion followed by Terraria are way in the lead.  So there's no Daytona USA but that's cause it's a port of a really old game so what's to be expected there.  But you know what's missing? Renegade Ops.  Didn't everyone love that game?  Giant Bomb gave it a 5/5?  I loved the game too.  That's part of the Sega family and it just got ROBBED.

You know what would be the s***?  If they took down GameFAQs.  I would pay massive Microsoft Points for that DLC addon!!

And another thing.  Call me a moron but I don't think I've ever heard of half these games from the media.  SpaceChem?  Jamestown?  I don't effin now anymore.

Well, what else is new.  I'm beginning to think the Sega logo is a kiss of death.  Some games are hurt much more than others (Bayonetta is relatively intact) but those four blue letters are a good way to get people to ignore you.  DO NOT DOUBT ME.  Let's try to break the curse by aiding Sega when we can, eh?

BTW, the narrator for Bastion makes me want to jump off a bridge.


And then there's another GameFAQs board (Good Lord) that's up to no good.  It just happens to be the Sonic Generations board.  That board has devolved from actually talking about Generations to bickering over which Sonic games suck or not.  Like this topic, this topic, and this topic.  While I don't necessarily mind debate (hell I roast plenty of games here), I don't go on forums for the specific purpose of getting in 1 on 1's with other people, quoting each other, trying to get the edge by debating the most petty things.

The Sonic fanbase just doesn't know what they want anymore.  If Sega didn't "shake the baby" back during the last decade, this probably wouldn't be happening.  I can see it now--the Mario & Zelda fanbases are laughing their asses off now.  The worst they have to complain about is whether or not Super Mario Galaxy 2 is better than Galaxy 1.  Or whether or not Majora's Mask is better than Ocarina of Time.

Well, what can you say about a franchise that has Chris-Chan as a member?  I just discovered this recently, but there's an ENTIRE Wiki site dedicated to every detail of his life (subtlety NSFW in a few places).  In case you don't know who Chris Chan is (and you really should just turn back now), he's a man-child with severe Autism who immerses himself in a world of constant gaming, fanart & fiction with characters like "Sonichu," rage towards everybody, and tons of erotic fantasies about God knows what.  Never mind the Rule 34 content from the rest of the fanbase, he alone sets back the Sonic community ten years.  I have a young brother with Autism and I know it really sucks but his (EDIT: talking about Chris) behavior is way past the point of using Autism as an excuse.

And about the Wiki site...isn't it illegal to publicly that much private information about someone?  I'm just curious, I don't want the HIRE A LAWLER TO TAKE DOWN DIS WEBSATE.  Sure, the media does this a lot with celebrities & politicians, but nowhere near the extent that this Wiki does.  People have been hacking his e-mail accounts and stuff, gathering every single account of his life, it's pretty demented.  Even if they were making this stuff up as they went along, it's still slanderous.  But nonetheless, Chris still plugs along at whatever he does.

No wonder Sonic is in the dumps.  I'll leave you with this pic:

Chris Chan, Jackie Chan, haha

And I know all the big gaming blogs beat me to this but what is Sonic doing in a Progressive commercial???  Progressive does auto insurance, not health/life insurance.  I don't think Flo can save you from a pit of spikes.

But hey, at least it ain't Klonoa or Pac-Man.  Namco, get your notepads out.

Also the Saints won so Who Dat.  And I'll be heading back to Florida for escuela on a nine-hour drive.  I'll talk about it later I guess.

No comments:

Post a Comment