Friday, December 23, 2011

Happy Festivus 2.0

It's December 23 which is Festivus worldwide.  Now my (second) Airing of Grievances, this time on events from the year Twenty Eleven:

MICROSOFT SUCKS -- Cause they continue to ram the Kinect up our asses and it will always suck and nothing can change my mind.

NINTENDO SUCKS -- 3DS is overrated and cause Link keeps winning the GameFAQs character contests and it's beyond stupid at this point.

NAMCO SUCKS -- Ridge Racer Unbounded is trash and RR Vita is incredibly lacking (five cars and three tracks???????????).

SONY SUCKS -- They got hacked and couldn't do anything about it.

ELECTRONIC ARTS SUCKS -- What "unique" games have they made besides Madden and other perennial sports titles?  EDIT: FYI, Mass Effect, Battlefield, and even NFS: The Run were made by separate studios.  Also, Origin is spyware, you noobs.

CAPCOM SUCKS -- Cause they don't like racing games, that's why.  And they couldn't be arsed into putting MEGA MAN in MvC3 (this offends me even as a non-Capcom fan).

SKYRIM SUCKS -- Overrated, buggy, time-consuming trash.

BATTLEFIELD SUCKS -- I just don't care, lol.

CALL OF DUTY SUCKS -- MW3 is bad, rofl.

WORLD OF WARCRAFT SUCKS -- This game will always suck and its dwindling players shows...


BURNOUT SUCKS -- It just does.

FAST & THE FURIOUS SUCKS -- You're killing arcades with this trash!!!

GAME INFORMER SUCKS -- They trashed OutRun 2 but loved Burnout Crash, UNEXCUSEABLE.

OFFICIAL XBOX MAGAZINE SUCKS -- Horrible Daytona USA review.

SPIKE TV SUCKS -- Turning gaming into an advertising cesspool and teabagging the guy in front of Shigeru Miyamoto.

G4TV SUCKS -- I don't know what they did wrong but I'm fairly certain Adam Sessler said something stupid.

REDDIT GAMING SUCKS -- Too many stupid ass Advice Animal memes.

TOSHIHIRO NAGOSHI SUCKS -- What has he done lately but make another studio for Yakuza games?

GAMEFAQS SUCKS -- Damn do I hate this website.  Every board is either run by absolute buffoons/trolls or picky moderators.

FIEA SUCKS -- How was a game about an anime-style teddy bear wielding a sword chosen over the sweet racing game I suggested?

AMERICAN IDOL SUCKS -- I hate this show.

DISNEY WORLD SUCKS -- Everything is overpriced there.

NFL REFEREES SUCK -- Officiating has been horrible all year.  Finally someone calls the zebras out (and gets picked up on live TV) and then he gets penalized again.  What BS, this is the No Fun League now.  I swear, if the Saints get cheated out of a game by one of these phantom calls, I'm going to lose my s***.

I suddenly like the St. Louis Rams now (after the Saints debacle earlier this year).

VIDEO GAMES SUCK - They're a waste of your time.  So why do I plan on making these very time-wasters for a living?  Same reason people make porn or sell drugs, cause they're STUPID.

Sega, however, does not suck.  Just when I thought you couldn't get any find a way to totally redeem yourself!!!!  (Daytona USA)


Time now for the Feats of Strength.  Until you (FnF fanboys) pin me to the ground, Festivus is not over.  YOU WANNA PIECE OF ME???  YOU GOT IT!!!

1 comment:

  1. I would add Codemaster to the list...

    Capcom did Group S Challenge on XBOX1 tho it's nothing special when sat along side Sega GT Online or Forza1. Even R:Racing is better once you dig out a good handling set up... I guess it was bad enough for Capcom to stick at what it does best, Round 1 - Fight!

    Maybe some day you should do a look back at the games that were viewed as shite in the past but in fact score extra points by today's mass marketed boring standards. I played Quantum Redshift, a Wipe Clone for XBOX1 the other day and although it's a little empty on the sound of an engine making it feel empty to play it's not a bad graphic engine being thrashed about to make it all click. Been a very long time since I played it brushing the dust off it and all, but had me thinking wow it doesn't look much different from a XBOX 360 game lol. It shines of quality arcade racers that might of been done, it really does then they stick Blur on us year later. WTF the world is going backwards, Blur is Blur.

    Sad init.

    AVIT! Mike/F40