Friday, September 23, 2011

Apartments Are Strange

This post, I'm not even going to bring up crap like Ridge Racer or Burnout.  Let's just put that out of our minds for now.

This is a funny post.  Right now, I've been in Florida for a month.  I live in a cozy little apartment.  I'm not going to tell you my address--I don't want any hitmen tracking me.  This experience isn't new since I also spent time in college dorms a few years back.

So I'm just chillin' in my little apartment and I occasionally see people coming and going out the exit.  I say "hi" but that's it.  But you look down that blank hallway and see all the doors and you think...what's GOING ON in there?  You see, living in a house in a suburb/neighborhood is different since you have a "buffer zone."  On the other hand, with apartments, there's just a three-inch wall separating you from the next guy.  And to make things more mysterious, my apartment walls are made of brick so I really can't hear what goes on over there...your imagination runs wild with the unknown.

I feel like I'm playing Return to Zork.  Or any other early 90's CD adventure game.
FYI, this is not my apartment building.
Don't turn off the lights, a grue will molest your face.

I know some of you think I'm driving at wild animals, meth labs, bondage/S&M stuff/massagers/blow-up dolls or anything that would make normal people blush but that's not what I'm looking for.  I'm talking...creepy Twilight Zone stuff.  And it was all next door but you never looked.

Ok this is stupid but it's a tangent that came up in my mind for just a few seconds and I thought it was interesting to share.  And I'm not one of those conspiracy/supernatural kooks either so let's not go there.

A good example of this was in Super Mario RPG.  I'm fairly certain everyone has played this game before.  There's a place called Monstro Town (it's about 2/3rds into the game).  Holy s*** it's weird.

Ok, I know this is a town, not an apartment, but the doors are all lined up like an apartment.  It also has the traditional balcony/outdoor hallway like many apartments have.

You can just walk into anyone's apartment.  The people are nice and there must be an absence of crime in these parts.  Who goes by the name "Monstermama" anyway???

Holy cow, it's a friggin creepy chest.

Ok, this is the karate dojo.  Yay, martial arts!  I got my yellow belt on the second day!!  Orange belt here I come!

Now here's a store.  The adult sells you regular goods, the kids sell you mushrooms that turn your character into...a mushroom.  This is obviously a metaphor for drug dealers.

There's a hotel with a bed you can just sleep in (where's the housekeeper?).  Then three ghosts talk to you in your sleep.  Ghosts--no thanks.  I'll just whoop their ass with some holy water.

Then there's this spring that sends you to this far away temple where monsters try to eat you.  So it's kind of like the ghetto down the road...don't go there, it ain't safe.

Then you go into another apartment and there's some folks having tea time.  Yes I know that in the Mario world, these various creatures are like people of different ethnicity and walks of life...I get it.  But this guy hears weird stuff next door.

MINOR SPOILER...hell, no one cares.  If you don't know this by now, shame on you.  Later on in the game, you can find out the source of that mumbling next door.

Then you enter this purpley-void and at this point, I just shat bricks.  Seriously, when I was a kid, I could never summon the courage to even walk in the room.  Then you fight this Final Fantasy-style boss Culex (he gives you the option to leave without a fight).  Okay, he's the toughest guy in the game.  We get it.

Also, this Counter-Strike map called "blahhh" does a good job of sucking you into strange worlds.  I love it.

EDIT: Another CS map called "duhhh"

Anyway, thanks Video Games, TV, and Movies, now I'm scared to open doors to unknown rooms.  Cause I might get sucked into another dimension.  Then again, I would never go into some stranger's apartment uninvited.  This post sucks.  Unless you're under the influence of drugs, then this is inspirational...

Oh yeah, I also saw this sweet complex apartment they are going to build in South Korea (like they would build it in North Korea?).  This is worth showing.

Now this is nifty but we are on the verge of making arcologies from SimCity.  Don't bother...high-density zones are not for me.  If you can pack 65,000 residents a single building (complete with rocket boosters to send into outer space), odds are it's not a very cozy place to be.

Come to think of it, I don't like the big city.  People weird me out anyway.

I miss my family back home in Slidell, Louisiana.  550 miles (885 km) away.  Now that's not bad for some but I feel like I'm floating in a void these days.  I need to socialize with people I know.  Watching ESPN reruns ain't cutting it for me.  Yes, I know Michael Vick and Tony Romo are hurt, I got it the first 500 times you said it.


  1. do you like watching movies at the theater?
    eating out?
    you should search for some hot girls!!

  2. I'm not the social scene type, I know...but I'll always have my video games!

  3. game it up! no doubts there! just a bit of advice, as during my college time i played too many games and not enough partying, so make sure you go out and party/hit the girls!! (nothing to lose man!)

  4. Nooo...I must stay in school and do my work. When I become rich from making video games, then all the girls will love me!!

  5. that's cool. you have your x360 with you then? any other systems? which are you top games lately?

  6. I just have my 360 and PC on me right now. I haven't played much other than Model3 emulation, Rock Band, and Advance Wars. Been doing a lot of schoolwork more than anything else...