Thursday, April 14, 2011

Sega Mediocrity At Its Finest: Dragon Rally!!! New Sonic!!!

Well I wasn't playing Xbox 360 on April 1st, but my good friend F40 saw this video on the XBL dashboard and was moved by it.

Wow, a game combining rally cars and dragons!  Actually, that sounds leagues better than Fast and the Furious and Burnout, in all honesty.  What a breath of fresh air.

Built a game from the ground up?  Isn't it a huge pain in the ass to make your own game engine from scratch?  That's why devs always pay for the use of the Source or the Havok engine so they don't have to waste even more on a game that will inevitably suck and not sell anyway.

Then there's Mr. "I want to be a dragon."  Ok, not the most smart thing to say in today's vast SomethingAwful/Fark/GameFAQs online community.  You'll be labeled a scalie, a reptile version of a furry.  Now I've got nothing against furries as I've said before, but you'd better be careful since it can really get in you in hot water.

For the record, a scientist who studies reptiles and amphibians is called a herpetologist.  I don't think anyone studies dragons cause I haven't seen any lately, have you?

And then they dangle pieces of paper in front of the screen with Saturn Sega Rally footage in the background?  Okay.

"I am not at all amused by this rubbish."

For an April Fool's joke, I think my Sega bankruptcy post was more convincing.  Damn, I can't believe I wasted a blog post entirely for this crap.  Sega of America = bizarro world.


But I'm going to add this one too cause I saw it and it's another Sega sucks thing.  It's about Sonic's 25th Anniversary game.  New Sonic (Restaurant) from the guys at Mega64!!!

As an aside, I like Sonic restaurants, particularly their shakes and $2 sundaes.  But on-topic, this video is funny because sadly, it's quite true.  Don't ever get excited about new Sonics cause they suck.  We think "oh, they'll change, they'll be good this time," but they don't.

Why, I have never seen the cycle before, thanks for posting!!!  Got pic from here, a more in-depth article that's a great read.

EDIT: But now that you think about it, Sonic 4 was just what everyone wanted...2-d sidescrolling Sonic without all the supporting cast and yet that led to lukewarm reception.  I think Sonic Colors, a 3-d game with more characters in it, got better ratings than Sonic 4.  So which is it--Sega is unable to make a decent game regardless of the source material OR the fanbase has its head up its ass?  Sonic games are a lose-lose situation no matter how you look at it.

Now that you've grown up, raise your standards.  Yeah, I grew up and moved from Midway racers to Sega racers!  The difference is Sonic can be good but...ah, what the hell am I getting at here.  I guess we're all supposed to "move on" cause what we used to like isn't "cool" by society's standards.  If you're a fan of anything Sega-related, you're like the Israelites wandering through the wilderness for forty years so get used to it.  The only difference is at the end of those forty years, Sega will be dead/irrelevant and everyone will have moved on due to frustration.  What a harrowing thought.  KEEP THE GLORY ALIVE, PEOPLE.  DO NOT GIVE UP!!!  WE WILL OVERCOME SOMEDAY!!!

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