Thursday, August 4, 2011


Nintendo loses money, Sega loses money, everyone loses money!!

Well, notsomuch.  Here comes Mappy in the red Mitsurugi car (Namco), zipping by the flipped over Ferrari Testarossa (Sega) and Mario being lifted to safety by Lakitu after getting zapped by lightning bolts (Nintendo).

Namco is that bad thigh rash that won't go away.  Well, maybe not that annoying, but I prefer Sega of course.  They made $42 mil last quarter & $698 mil last year.  From what?  From Mobile Suit Gundam, Power Rangers, "amusement facilities," and 3DS games such as Ridge Racer and some RPG's.  Ok, so I feel sorry for the 700,000 schmucks who bought the 3DS but many of those bought Namco games.  Great tactic, Namco, release a bunch of launch titles for a new device to pick up easy sales because what the hell else are people going to buy?  Just like hitting from the women's tees, makes sense right...?  Expect Namco to do the same thing with the PS Vita.

So with Sega sucking, let's throw out the "bad Japanese market" as an alibi cause if Namco can make money, then Sega SHOULD be able to do so.  I mean, really, shouldn't Sega aim their sights a little higher than Captain America and Shogun: Total War?  I don't know about you but I'm still waiting for this 18 Dreamcast ports that Sega CEO Mike Hayes promised!!!  Or anything else that's an original Sega IP!!!


But really, Sega and Namco have some striking similarities.  For one, they're Japanese.  They both go back to their arcade glory days in the 80's-90's.  They both made lots of racing games.  They both made 3D fighting games.  And they both are second-rate backbencher devs/publishers today.


EDITED this part once

Also, this I would like to point out with Namco.  So they're working on Soul Calibur Five, rushing to design that new boob jiggle physics engine.  SC5 (or SCV, my bad) is supposed to take place 17 years ahead of SC4 cause, ya know, we really play fighting games for the plot.  And because it's in the future, that means the original cast of characters will be aged.  Since some of the ladies will inevitably not make it, expect lolly versions of old Taki's daughter who's 15 years old.

Makes a lotta sense, right.  "Don't like boobies!  Well, here's some kids!"  Still seems weird that you can portray 15-year-olds getting split in the head by a giant axe--especially with them stripped to their underwear in classy Namco style.  Why couldn't this series, with its sci-fi elements and all, couldn't just "teleport" characters into the future (dare to explain guest characters like Spawn, Heihachi, Link, Kratos, Darth Vader, Yoda???).  I don't know, I don't care.  Stick with Virtua Fighter.

Giving Akira a wet willy!!

EDIT: I used this picture before, sorry.

But it gets better!  Ivy's in although she's permanently stuck at 32 years old.  But after poking Namco with a stick at ComicCon, it's revealed that Taki will indeed return.  All 40+ years of her.  Brilliant.

Anyway, my favorite SC character has been Seong Mina, but if they get rid of her, I don't care...she's run her course.  They'll ruin her somehow--she's old, make her dress/look stupid, make her bottom tier, etc.  She has barely any chance since Namco has basically disregarded her since SC1.  So screw this game.


I'm done here.  Enjoy riding Namco's coattails, Sega.  With Nintendo in the toilet, joining Square and Capcom, SEGA COULD'VE PUT THE COUNTRY OF JAPAN AWAY!!!!  THEY COULD'VE PUT IT AWAY!!!!   THEY WERE IN THE CLEAR!!!!  BUT THEY BLEW IT!!!!  What they could've done...I dunno, I'm an idiot fan who knows nothing.  Sony would've stopped 'em anyway.  Why am I a fan of this lousy company called Sega.  Get ready for a future of crummy, dominant American devs--Activision, Electronic Arts, Microsoft...unless Sega and co. step it up.

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